Whatever  

complexlysimple 34M
894 posts
8/30/2006 5:41 pm

Last Read:
9/7/2006 7:24 pm

Whatever


my mind is just blank right now ...maybe it's just a conituation from yesterday ..then again maybe it's from having dropped a 12 inch grinding wheel on my noggin at work ..(not fun) anyway I thought I'd toss a series of jokes up here ..wish I knew who to give credit to ..though I suspect it might be something that one person started and others added and changed as times went on... but without further ado.... with added commentary by me..

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE
Two engineering students were walking across
campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

yup, though I'm not sure the bike would fit me either ..I guess I'd just have to settle for the woman ...

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

either that or I need twice volume of liquid ..particularly if it's booze

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment, then the pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

well, it does make sense

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

I've also heard the variation of aerospace engineers instead of mechanical.. I can't think of a thing AE's make that can't be used as a weapon ...planes, cars, ...bombs

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

I suppose someone has to ask if you want fries...

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.

The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

no comment

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.



UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both"

"Both?"

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

see, there is more than one reason why my profile has two women ..

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

I know that feeling of not having time for much of anything ... good reason to hold off on he engineering career in my opinion.

Ah, well have fun everyone I'm gone...

SlowRidnHer 46M
8 posts
8/30/2006 7:34 pm

very good


economickrisis 54M

8/31/2006 2:12 am

Hilarious


BaronessK 52F

8/31/2006 2:10 pm

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

either that or I need twice volume of liquid ..particularly if it's booze

It's all full -- half liquid and half air.

I want a talkin' frog...or to get froggy...something like that.


Etherealbreeze 54F

9/1/2006 12:47 pm

Don't you Josh? Have time? You are hurting, I can feel it and I feel for you. I don't how I know, but I do. Love you.

Roz xx

I am Roz , a rose that's ephemeral and rare. Yet always here! Hugz!


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