Profiles ...a last incarnation - hopefully  

complexlysimple 34M
894 posts
6/4/2006 8:08 am

Last Read:
12/16/2006 8:00 pm

Profiles ...a last incarnation - hopefully


Well I just finished rewriting my profile and assuming that it isn't rejected I think that it may be the last one I write...

Here's an excerpt though:

*******

Well, if you've decided to look this far here's what I am. I am: arrogant, egotistical, manipulative, occasionally violent, uncaring, heartless, emotionless, forgetful and hateful among other things.

I've been accused of thinking I'm God and referred to as crazy and/or insane - neither of which I can I make a concrete argument against.. Basically I the kind of guy that can make the worst of the worst look like a bunch of Boy Scouts ...and that thing going bump in the night? It's bumping around because it's trying to stay away from me.

Now if you've made it through that, I realize that I may have 1 and only 1 saving grace.... I'm willing to accept what I am and be the best I can be ....meaning I strive to be honest, respectful, loving and loyal ...basically everything society deems worthy of being.

.........

I'm not sure I can be anymore honest about myself than that without going into details ... so hopefully it passes inspection

As for making the worst for the worst look like boy scouts? I'm not sure that is all that much an exaggeration ... most guys I've run into seem to realize that starting a fight with me would be a bad idea ...and it would - odds are we would both end up either hurt, or dead ...as for the few guys that think violence cool ...I'm not sure that they are really worth the time or effort of fighting so unless they start a physical confrontation I really don't care what they say .... violence is not cool ...

I hate violence completely and absolutely ...which means if need to use it, it will be extremely fast and incredibly intense...

When I moved in with my cousins, one of them wanted to show his friend something ... so he grabbed a 3 foot long dowel -similar in size to what you would find in a closet- and told me to take it away from him. I didn't want to at first because I knew I was going to get it away without much of a problem ..he may be around 6 foot tall and a muscular 220 lbs, but he's really no match for me. But he said it a second time and I gave in.

From the time both of our hands were on the dowel he had his hands on it for maybe the time it takes to breath a couple breaths, before I had it in my hands and flicked his knuckles, wrist and forearm so quickly that I wasn't even aware I had done so until after I had hit all three places and stopped.

That is why I try to avoid violence, because for me it can just flow like a river down stream ...once I start I generally don't stop until everything that seems like a threat has been neutralized, or I get overwhelmed....

This is also one of the painfully unpleasant aspects of being who I am

*Edited: Another involves the darkness in the heart, I've looked deeper than most if not all I've talked to ...and I see no limit to how dark things can become ... I've nearly lost myself to it a few times ....

**** I had been thinking of writing something like this last night, though perhaps not as detailed, or in-depth ****

I think I will add this personal note here though:

eos_ -you know who you are, in what name I address you by I see no difference-, I do not know or assume this to be true, I do however have a feeling that you may make it a habit to swing by this blog on a regular -if not daily basis ... I also have a feeling that to those individuals that read both your blog and mine on a regular basis they may think that the only thing people we're hiding our interest in each other from is perhaps ourselves and each other ...and if that's the case I'm wondering why? ... but that's just a feeling, and while I generally trust my feelings, I don't really know for sure if this is accurate....though I also have a feeling that you have read this far.... this all makes me feel a bit foolish having mistaken you for someone else from my past.

......one of the other things I've been compared to is Sherlock Holmes... ..just thought I'd toss that in there, not entirely sure why, but I do have some ideas

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