Grandfather Dead. Bank Robbed.  

complexlysimple 34M
894 posts
9/8/2006 3:53 pm

Last Read:
9/16/2006 5:59 am

Grandfather Dead. Bank Robbed.


Sorry I couldn't resist using that as a title ....and yeah it's true too.

My mother called me at work this morning around 9:00 am asked me if I had someone else there ...and she sounded a bit hysterical(? - I'm not sure how else to describe it) so I asked what had happened .. expecting the worst .. and find out my grandfather (her father) died last night.

Later in the day we heard helicopters and sirens at work, I didn't think much of it since my employer is located off of one of the more used roads in the area...

Anyway before going to lunch I inform my supervisor that my grandfather had died and that I would likely need to take time off next week ...

So I get back from lunch and find out that the sirens we had heard earlier were due to a bank being robbed ... and of course it's the bank where I do most of my financial type stuff...

..so not the worst day I've ever had ...but it's up there ...

I guess it's shouldn't be too much of a shocked that my grandfather died though since he had been refusing to eat or drink at the nursing home ...but even then I'm really not sure what to feel ...or perhaps which one of the many emotions I am feeling I should let myself feel... because as bad as it may sound I feel almost relieved(?) that he is or perhaps not complete sorrow ... because when it comes down to it he was one of the men that made me what I am for better or worse .... and in some ways I can't help but wonder if it's not for the better that he finally did die - though I'm not looking forward to listening to the family squabble over his possessions (and I'm sure they will since they have been ever since he went into the nursing home) .... but at the same time should things come to such that I bring someone into the family that isn't 'white' I can't help but think that it'll make it easier for everyone involved ... even though he had managed to keep that aspect of himself covered really well ...at least until a black nurse came into check on him once in the nursing home ...

I guess the best I can say is he was a man, not a good man, and definitely not a bad man ... but just a man with flaws and as well as graces...

...and as for the bank I'm not worried that's why banks are insured ..though I hope/believe that the law will catch up with this knucklehead ....

I suppose it's like I commented to a coworker ...at least I'm single so my girlfriend can't dump me too

So if I don't spend a lot of time here this weekend wait I generally don't spend much time here on weekends anyway ...anywho I think I just need to let myself feel for a bit ... I'm not sure that I really want condolences or the like ..at least not to or for me, since for the most part I'm accepting it ..it's life and I'm really not sure how to explain either ....but I guess what I'm trying to say is ..well nothing really, I just felt a need to write/type down some of these thoughts and so I did ... maybe there'll be more maybe there won't .. only time will tell don't take that as I'm leaving though...because I'm not ... so there ..

cookiequeen1000 53F

9/9/2006 6:43 am

Hell of a headline!

Sorry to hear you lost your grandfather. I've lost 2 grandfathers now (still have one thanks to parents' divorce and a remarriage). One of them I miss (my Dad's Dad), he was an amazing man...still had his flaws but lived his life honestly, simply, with humor, with hard work, and with devotion to his family...everything he did was for the betterment and benefit of his family. The other grandfather was my molester (protected by his daughter/my mother) so the man they finally eulagized and buried wasn't the man I knew at all...was glad to see him go, but wished I had known the guy they were talking about at the funeral instead.

Maybe you're in shock, maybe not. Only time will tell for sure. Good, bad, or inbetween, its still a loss. Probably harder on your Mother. Can't imagine what its like to lose a parent...they say that's when you really become an adult. Guess we'll find out for sure in due time.


cookiequeen1000 53F

9/9/2006 6:44 am

Hell of a headline!

Sorry to hear you lost your grandfather. I've lost 2 grandfathers now (still have one thanks to parents' divorce and a remarriage). One of them I miss (my Dad's Dad), he was an amazing man...still had his flaws but lived his life honestly, simply, with humor, with hard work, and with devotion to his family...everything he did was for the betterment and benefit of his family. The other grandfather was my molester (protected by his daughter/my mother) so the man they finally eulogized and buried wasn't the man I knew at all...was glad to see him go, but wished I had known the guy they were talking about at the funeral instead.

Maybe you're in shock, maybe not. Only time will tell for sure. Good, bad, or in between, its still a loss. Probably harder on your Mother. Can't imagine what its like to lose a parent...they say that's when you really become an adult. Guess we'll find out for sure in due time.


complexlysimple replies on 9/10/2006 4:47 pm:
...not to sound crass, but if burying a parent is when you really become an adult ...what is it when a person doesn't care if a parent dies because the feelings are dead already?

BaronessK 52F

9/10/2006 12:11 am

Did you double check your bank balance...just to be sure?


complexlysimple replies on 9/10/2006 4:49 pm:
yeah I just did ... nothing gone ... I doubt much was taken since the bank wasn't even offically 'open' when it was robbed ...even then how would anyone decide whose money had been taken?

BaronessK 52F

9/10/2006 11:22 pm

complexlysimple replies on 9/10/2006 6:47 pm:
...not to sound crass, but if burying a parent is when you really become an adult ...what is it when a person doesn't care if a parent dies because the feelings are dead already?

Related to me? Do we have the same mother? Just curious.... {You would have luved my Dad, though.}


complexlysimple replies on 9/15/2006 3:51 pm:
actually its the other way around here ...my father is the one I dislike although he has grown up a bit in the last few years ...

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