On Loss  

company_od 43M
95 posts
8/23/2006 11:25 pm

Last Read:
8/27/2006 11:54 pm

On Loss

Yep, another one of those. My Grandmother died this week she was in her 80's and it was after she had broken her leg and was in a recovery place before she could go to Physical Therapy. She was the last of my Granparents. The others having passed some time ago. I have lost some people that were impactful in my life already. My Grandparents, my favorite Great Aunt who spoiled me as her favorite, an Uncle and an Aunt who died untimely and left young children behind both of them (different parts of the family). After each of these I didn't cry. I wasn't hurt. I know in the case of the elderly members of the family they happened when I was older and I knew it was after a lifetime of memories and in most cases with very poor health. The two tradgedies were when I was a little younger the more recent of the two when I was in High School. I always worried that I was somehow flawed that these deaths didn't sadden me as I felt they should have. Well that changed completely when I lost my wife which we have the Anniversary for that in one week. I was devestated completely. The only thing I can really say I thought positively at the time was that I was affected and it made me at least pause to laugh incredulosly that the thought crossed my mind. Anyway, I again was not affected as I would have thought especially considering the timing of everything. I was very concerned for my kids on this and even made an appointment with a grief group to discuss this and if it will have any impact on them especially considering the upcoming Anniversary. Still I pray that I never have to lose another person who becomes part of my heart. I know that sometimes people say that they don't want to fall in love again after losing someone that special. I have an Uncle who did that, I won't be like that. If you lock away the chance to set those feelings free, you are denying yourself your chance to live. I don't preport to know anything as far as fate, karma, kismet, luck or fortune guided by whom or whatever diety, god, or Devinity and how they judge or gaze upon Humanity and choose what happens, but I certainly won't let that stop me from loving again and marrying again if I have the opportunity. So don't sell yourself short, don't seal that hurt away and let it ruin your chances for love. Anyway that's about what I wanted to say so there it is.

BaronessK 52F

8/24/2006 10:06 am

I send condolences to you, dear; it is never easy, no matter how we are able to 'cope' with it all.

Sweetpickles69 47F

8/24/2006 4:33 pm

Sorry, to hear about your grandmother. I was wondering what happened to you. Thanks for those words of wisdom. My grandmother committed suicide, 16 years ago last June, it still hurts. I have one grandfather left, but I haven't spoken to him in over 3 years. It's sad when people bottle things up, we need to communicate. Let it out, or it will eat away at you. Here's a hug, wish I could give you one in person.



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