Just thinking...  

comecuffme 46F
119 posts
12/2/2005 8:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Just thinking...


You know...I was reading one of my favorite blogs in the middle of the night and it has had me thinking about it all morning. If you get a chance check it out if you haven't already. im_your_man77 has said quite a few things that make me assess my reasonings for being here.
Please indulge me a little and I will tell you a little story. I will tell you ahead of time, there really isn't a moral here...not funny and nothing to do with sex...so if you would like...skip through.

Once upon a time there was a young, naive girl who met this man. Not her first but he became her last. He was not a wonderful man by any means. Unfortunately, she did not feel she could do any better. She didn't even know that better even existed. You see this girl came from poor, not very well educated family. In her family the girls were taught to try to marry as well as possible, that was your future.

This girl had some children and went on with her sad life. She was told that she was stupid and would be nothing without this person. There were fights...fights that left lifelong scars. He molder her to his will. Until one day, after years have gone by, he left town for work. What was supposed to be a few weeks ended up being about a year. During this time, this girl...now a sad shell of a woman discovered that she was very intelligent...not stupid like she was led to believe and in her own way, beautiful. Not perfect, but worthy of love, caring and friends (she wasn't allowed any before).

She discovered she could be self-sufficient. She found herself.

Of course while this man was away, he played. He was unfaithful to this woman. Now don't get me wrong, there was a tiny bit of hurt, but mostly...you know what she felt when she found out?? Relief.
This woman filed for divorce and began to look ahead. Plan for a future. Happiness.

Then one fateful day...he came back. The man was ill and no longer able to be a 'husband'. She took him in to help him because he had no family and his children wanted him home.

Unfortunately, she trapped herself in a life that she chose but by no means wanted. The came across this website in her search for 'something else'. She has not met any of the people she has talked to. But with this she has found a little something that she is missing.

Here she can be honest. Talk of things that no one in real life wants to hear.

This woman's situation is temporary. Steps have been taken for her to take her life back again.

I know...you probably already figured out...this girl is me.

I wake up every day hopeful. I am not a liar except by omission. If asked I will always tell the truth. Whether it hurts or not. Lies hurt worse and liars always get caught.
Marriage is a contract and contracts can be broken and/or revised.

My story is not a sad one, though I am not sure if there is a happily ever after, or if that even exists. The only thing I do know for certain is that sometimes it can be worth it to weed through the bad to find a little good.

The anonymous factor here has great appeal. That is one of the things that drew me to it in the beginning.

Perhaps those who have complained about the posers and the liars have unrealistic expectations.
One of the many many lessons I have learned over the years is that life and people are not just black and white but varying shades of every color in the spectrum.

It can be difficult and trying but it is one of the things in life that facinates me and makes me realize that life itself and everything in it is amazing.

The future is exciting and I plan on living it to the tee. I will tell you something else. Regardless of where I am in my life right now...if I ever found that 'perfect' person- by perfect I mean perfect for me- I would move heaven and earth for that person. That is the way of our species. Fucking is good, making love is better, and eventually and hopefully everyone will find the lifemate they were destined to be with.

Ok so now enough of the romantic and depressing dribble. I have now stepped down from the soap box.

Be well,

Faith

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
12/2/2005 9:03 am

Hah, yeah, so that caught me off guard, I wasn't expecting that. After reading just the second line I almost clicked the back function of the browser, however as my mouse curser hovered over the back arrow I read on. What I read was not depressing dribble but a story with hope. You have with time found out who you are, what you can be and perhaps what you need in the future. Many people are still looking for themselves in other people. So yes it might have been romantic (is there anything bad in that?) but in no way was it depressing.


comecuffme 46F

12/2/2005 10:05 am

Thank you dear sir. Still working on that whole what I say is really important thing...it is just hard for me to know all the time what is important and what is just me thinking aloud.
Anyway, Have a wonderful day!

Faith


im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
12/2/2005 12:42 pm

Nothing wrong with thinking aloud (but then again I would say that wouldn't , if it's important enough to think it, it's important enough to say it. Lecture complete, have a good day yourself.


MTeaser 55M

12/10/2005 1:00 pm

I am moved, and impressed. Best wishes.


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