Soul Searching.  

cocoatits81 35F
347 posts
8/26/2006 12:10 pm

Last Read:
12/16/2006 5:47 pm

Soul Searching.

I think its that time again where I shut off my profile to take a breather,I dont know if I should annouce it but seeing as I have "readership" and all...
I'm weary and I have my insecurities laid out like a deck of cards.."insecurities"...Yeah,no one expects me to be outright and mention that as being people come to this website to escape folks like me who will "bitch and moan" in real life.I'd rather be honest and share instead of veiled attemps and posturing,but yes I feel my best is not enough here.

For someone,the "plain jane" like me to see such beautiful women,not just physically(because I count the way she radiates confidence and articulates herself as beauty too)I get discouraged.And when that happens,my own demons of self-image arise as I have to wonder how do they pull such charming,intelligent, handsome successful men to them...after a beat,it dawns on me that I answered my own question.It is the confidence thing...
No,I dont completely have it and so I wonder why I'm here still?Since its obvious I cant coast on sexuality alone and the men I seek dont want someone vunerable,honest,forthright,complex and intelligent and I cant get those charming,handsome,successful,etc men,why am I still here?Maybe I ask too much,maybe I'm not as easily satiated...I don't know.I've always been a girl who questions things and ponders deeply on subjects never happy with a superficial answer.Sadly,it hits me that I am one of those types of women who burns a guy out emotionally,thats why(and nobody knows this)that I try to keep myself at arms length when I fall for a dude because of that.And what better place than this where most seek something "sexually-platonic" but feelings do get in the way and when I have to question that..its time for me to take a break.I think I've bared(no pun..)my soul enough to make men recoil in horror,lol.So I am outta here for now.Do feel free to seek me out if I'm on your messenger or read some of my previous posts because of right now,my status is inactive unless there a hell of a man waiting for me who happened to be enamoured my such an "essay".[shrugs] Ah well...

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo

ilovetolickit82 34M

8/28/2006 8:41 am

So your leaving...and we never got to chat. I'm nto sure that I understand your reasoning. You sound liek a very confident person. You may not think that yourself but you come accross as one. I can see that you may be looking for someone for more than just a sexual relationship, which isn't a bad thing. Personally I am here to find someone to fulfill my sexual needs but I'm not against finding someone to be with on a more permanent basis. Let me know if you are interested in chatting, I would really like to. I hope you see this before you actually leave.

SirMounts 102M

8/30/2006 6:00 am

And here I just discovered your blog. Always a day late and a dollar short. *holds head in hands*
Well... see ya. *smiling*

cocoatits81 35F

8/30/2006 1:01 pm

Heheh,fellas....I'm around,but my profile is just inactive.A girl has to take a break,no?

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo

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