Sex on the side  

rm_coathanger1 48M
713 posts
2/12/2006 1:42 pm

Last Read:
4/2/2006 9:23 am

Sex on the side

Is it a crime against nature to be monogamous?

I just want to see what others think on this subject.


PineyFolks 58M/59F

2/12/2006 5:12 pm

D i don't think that mammals are made to be monogamous. But i DO think monogamy is a CHOICE. It can and is done frequently by many. A crime against nature?? Nope, again a choice. Animals are not able to reason so to them it's natural. Humans have the wonderful ability to make choices and reason things out and to decide on what they should and need to do. It is for many people. It isn't for some. *shrugs* depends on what the 2 agree on. And you see i said 2...not one of them but the both. Otherwise it is cheating. Good question

neorn


rm_coathanger1 48M
859 posts
2/12/2006 7:29 pm

    Quoting PineyFolks:
    D i don't think that mammals are made to be monogamous. But i DO think monogamy is a CHOICE. It can and is done frequently by many. A crime against nature?? Nope, again a choice. Animals are not able to reason so to them it's natural. Humans have the wonderful ability to make choices and reason things out and to decide on what they should and need to do. It is for many people. It isn't for some. *shrugs* depends on what the 2 agree on. And you see i said 2...not one of them but the both. Otherwise it is cheating. Good question

    neorn
That's in my line of thinking as well. It is easy to question once you notice how many cheaters that are out there. Maybe human nature is something they should teach in school and not from a bible belt stand point. At least young adults would have some clue about what could happen in their lives. Understanding problems would help reduce the hurt feelings and help them be honest about how they feel.

Our realistic discussions on this have not lead to a full open marriage but we have a much better understanding of what is ok. I can say the honesty has been nice and openly discussing our wants and desires has been kind of fun.


rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
2/12/2006 9:25 pm

Monogamy is a choice...and being honest is critically important...
always. no matter what. in my world, anyway.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


rm_coathanger1 48M
859 posts
2/13/2006 7:17 am

    Quoting rm_goddess1946:
    Monogamy is a choice...and being honest is critically important...
    always. no matter what. in my world, anyway.
That is one thing that matters above all, honesty. If you can or cannot be monogamous should be something you never lie about. No LTR can survive with lies.


crazygurl2xx 56F

2/13/2006 6:13 pm

I am so on board with all of this. Monogamy has been on my mind lately because I have made the commitment to a relationship that has no guarantee of success. However, without that element there would be NO chance of us being together for anything more meaningful than sex.

My nature is more open and less prone to jealousy, but his is not. I am willing to give my word and keep it becuase he is important to me. My integrity is at stake and honesty is of the utmost importance.

I do feel it is a sacrifice but everything in life worth having has a price...it's not so much for him to ask I guess.
He asked and I gave. The relationship is that important to me.


TexasMar 43F

2/13/2006 7:18 pm

I totally agree with it being a CHOICE. Communication has to be the NUMBER ONE thing in a relationship. Cheating hurts. If you BOTH choose to have an "open" relationship that is a choice but it needs to be a decision between the two of you not just one of you.

Monogamy can be acheived if you wnat it bad enough it is just not as fun.

Kisses


rm_coathanger1 48M
859 posts
2/14/2006 6:15 pm

    Quoting crazygurl2xx:
    I am so on board with all of this. Monogamy has been on my mind lately because I have made the commitment to a relationship that has no guarantee of success. However, without that element there would be NO chance of us being together for anything more meaningful than sex.

    My nature is more open and less prone to jealousy, but his is not. I am willing to give my word and keep it becuase he is important to me. My integrity is at stake and honesty is of the utmost importance.

    I do feel it is a sacrifice but everything in life worth having has a price...it's not so much for him to ask I guess.
    He asked and I gave. The relationship is that important to me.
crazygurl2xx, I had been wondering for a few days how to put that question into words, then I happened across your site. One of your posts is where I figured it out. Thanks

I'm glad you found someone worth giving up so much. I hope he knows and understands this.

Thanks
D


rm_coathanger1 48M
859 posts
2/14/2006 6:19 pm

    Quoting TexasMar:
    I totally agree with it being a CHOICE. Communication has to be the NUMBER ONE thing in a relationship. Cheating hurts. If you BOTH choose to have an "open" relationship that is a choice but it needs to be a decision between the two of you not just one of you.

    Monogamy can be acheived if you wnat it bad enough it is just not as fun.

    Kisses
Very true, monogamy is not nearly as fun.

Communication and honesty is the key to any good relationship. Even a monogamous one will not survive without it.


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