True or not...You be the judge...  

clitalicious67 49F
2596 posts
5/29/2006 2:32 pm

Last Read:
5/30/2006 7:12 pm

True or not...You be the judge...

What can I say? I ran across this and it amused me...who penned it? I don't know...but have a laugh or two...any insights you have to add?

True Insights About Men & Women...

1. She won't unlock car door for him.
-Doesn't engage in oral sex.

2. He gets in car without opening door for her.
-No foreplay.

3. He can't hail a cab.
-Impotent.

4. He insists on going to a brand new restaurant.
-Prefers virgins.

5. She insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way there.
-Is a virgin.

6. He insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant.
-Compulsive Don Juan.

7. He insists on going to a homey little cafe.
-Compulsive Don Quixote.

8. He insists on going to a Polynesian bar.
-Compulsive Don Ho.

9. She wants to go to a French restaurant.
-Will swallow.

10. She wants to go to a deli.
-Won't swallow.

11. She uses Sweet n' Low.
-Wears falsies.

12. She takes too long deciding what to order.
-Has trouble reaching orgasm.

13. She orders salad dressing on the side.
-Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way".

14. She gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress.
-Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.

15. He insists on ordering for you.
-Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.

16. He asks for "the usual".
-Insists on missionary position only.

17. He asks what the specials are.
-Will want you to use handcuffs.

18. He fills up on bread and crackers.
-Premature ejaculator.

19. He doesn't finish everything on the plate.
-Has already cum.

20. He insists on having some of what you ordered.
-Will make you sleep on the wet spot.

21. He changes mind after ordering.
-Will never call you.

22. She changes tables.
-Nymphomaniac.

23. She drinks decaf.
-Fakes orgasm. (Female)

24. He orders in French.
-Fakes potency. (Male)

25. He sends food back.
-Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow money.

26. She asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts.
-Needs you to talk dirty during sex.

27. He orders a dessert involving ladyfingers.
-Wants a hand job.

28. She orders a dessert involving nuts.
-Castrating bitch.

29. She wants to split dessert.
-Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.

30. His credit card is refused.
-Low sperm count.

31. He undertips waiter.
-Small penis.

32. He undertips parking valet.
-Small penis.

33. He undertips cabbie.
-Small penis.

34. He uses a toothpick.
-Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.

35. He has a removable cassette player in car.
-Pulls out repeatedly during sex.

36. He has a cellular phone in car.
-Has a penile implant.



loadeddice05 44M

5/29/2006 3:21 pm

Too long!!! I'm going to the lesbian story!!! OK.


Djeeper1987 47M

5/29/2006 3:22 pm

I will from now on aviod number 15.

By the way, the cartoon says it all.

Carpe Diem


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
5/29/2006 4:01 pm

Seems like you put a lot of thought into this


rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
5/29/2006 6:44 pm

Funny and sad at the same time. Shortdogg


goodguysneedit2 56M

5/29/2006 7:42 pm

LOL..they aren't all true,I swear!LOL


She doesn't care where you go to eat
-She'll treat you right,and she's ready to

She's bitching about a busted heel on her favorite shoes when you pick her up.
-You ain't gettin' any tonight

She demands to go to only the finest restuarants
-She's an ice cold fish that won't fry

She takes off her shoes and dangles her feet out the window while you're driving her down the road
-She's in love,and so are you



clitalicious67 49F

5/29/2006 8:10 pm

    Quoting goodguysneedit2:
    LOL..they aren't all true,I swear!LOL

    She doesn't care where you go to eat
    -She'll treat you right,and she's ready to

    She's bitching about a busted heel on her favorite shoes when you pick her up.
    -You ain't gettin' any tonight

    She demands to go to only the finest restuarants
    -She's an ice cold fish that won't fry

    She takes off her shoes and dangles her feet out the window while you're driving her down the road
    -She's in love,and so are you



too funny....Mr. Sexy Yummy Bubbles


jdocfunguy 50M

5/29/2006 8:10 pm

What a great list....I'll bet they're all true. LOL


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:22 pm

    Quoting loadeddice05:
    Too long!!! I'm going to the lesbian story!!! OK.
What a Wuss!!! LMAO


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:23 pm

    Quoting Djeeper1987:
    I will from now on aviod number 15.

    By the way, the cartoon says it all.
You are a hoot!!! LOL I liked the pic!!!


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