Thoughts...and second chances  

clitalicious67 49F
2596 posts
6/27/2006 3:49 am

Last Read:
6/28/2006 3:10 am

Thoughts...and second chances

You know I have been doing some soul searching and I have wondered how many second chances can you honestly give something or someone? When is the burden too much to bear? How much merit do you put in what others think of you? Is there such a thing as true love or a soul mate? Why do the ones that love us hurt us the most? How far is too far?

Well I can tell you what I do know:

I do not require a man to define me.

I am at 38 comfortable in my own skin. I find confidence one the most sexy things you can bring to a relationship...

I guess we are never given more than we can bear but we are not blessed with the knowledge of what the breaking point is or we don't rely on faith when it feels like it is too much.

I appreciate others opinions because we all have them but again I am not defined by them.

I am no longer sure about true love...I think maybe there are true moments in our lives where it is as close to perfect as you will find...I have been through enough to question the soul mate theory (but I guess I always hope that I am wrong on this one).

The ones that love us hurt us the most because they can.

It is never too far if you draw your lines in the sand...so find something concrete.

I still don't know where I am going in my self discovery mode...but I will let ya know when I get there.

So now I will leave you with a song...(like you didn't see that coming)

ANGEL
sung by Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
Thereís always one reason
To feel not good enough
And itís hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
Iíll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
Youíre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
Thereís vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It donít make no difference
Escaping one last time
Itís easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
Youíre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
Youíre in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here



rm_CuummDrop 49F
2591 posts
6/27/2006 5:03 am

Let me just say this, take it for what it's worth,, i can sit here and say, give it time... You have... i can say,, just don't throw it out the window... you haven't... He has... i know that best friends are good, this is true,, but babes,, i've watched women in just the same thing you are going thru, and it's destructive to them (you)... i'm not condoning divorce,, but he needs a wake up call... and for three months babe,, you've got that oppurtunity to make that call...

It's not worth your tears, being "Comfortable".. just doesn't get it anymore... you aren't comfortable,, you try to figure out what you are doing wrong.... YOU aren't doing a damn thing wrong... you give, give, and give.... and still,, you ask for the respect you fucking deserve, and still,,, you ain't getting it.... i should make a visit to Alabama, and set his happy lil ass straight,,, talk about coming to visit here and kick Mr. Captain Fucktardo's Ass,, ole Armyboy needs a swift kick up the ass as well...!! Letz have a asskickenparty!!

YOU of all people deserve to be happy!!!!

Love you,,Very Much,,,

me~c

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
6/27/2006 5:03 am

"Love" is defined by action not by words. If one relies on words to be open to second chances then there will probably never be enough. If the foucs is on the actions then "second" chance defines the number.

A burben is too much to bear when one chooses to quit bearing it and not a moment sooner. And too far is too far when you say it is.

There was book that came out in the 70" "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business."

Those we love have the capacity to hurt us the most becasue it is with them that we are most open and vulnerable. Sort of like a porcupine, it keeps its quills up as protection when it does not feel safe, but when it does feel safe the soft underbelly is exposed.

I wrote a blog on hte concept of "soul mate." Not a concept I believe in or endorse. Romantic fantasy is often far removed from the reality of being human with all its paradoxes and enigmas. I really appreciate the way you brought in the concept of "perfect moments" That seems to be more appropriate and realistic where humans are concerned. I believe where we get into trouble is when we believe that those moments are supposed to be ever present and when they're not that it means something other than a reflection of the depth of caring that may be present. A friend used to say that relationship is more about the care and concern between two people than any concept of love.

I need some time to refelct more on those "perfect moments" and that fits my philosophy. Seems to be an important cornerstone fro shifting my perspective followoing this last year.


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
6/27/2006 5:26 am

"The one that loves us hurts us the most because they can". It is also the one that love us hurts us the most because we are vulnerable to that hurt. To truly become "soul mates", we must open up every door in our emotional psyche and that makes us vulnerable to hurt. It also opens us up to exquisite pleasure.....so it is a decision that has definite risks AND rewards.


rm_byron1724 53M
214 posts
6/27/2006 1:07 pm

true love exists, its hard and it requires trust and honesty from both parties but its there.... as are soul mates... people who fit together as if they were always one.

But if you open your heart to someone, you'd better be ready to pick up a few bruises on it, like the man said "tread softly, for you tread on my dreams" and becuase we allow someone in without restriction or constraint they can hurt us deeply.

Of course if we let them get away with it then they'll do it again and again! So open your heart but don't be a doormat!

Byron xxx


Intensity4U 52M  
7432 posts
6/27/2006 1:44 pm

Hey C~ Just keep getting your strength from the things you do know.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
6/27/2006 3:24 pm

You can only have one second chance, after that it is a third chance, after that a fourth chance...get it?


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 4:51 pm

    Quoting rm_CuummDrop:
    Let me just say this, take it for what it's worth,, i can sit here and say, give it time... You have... i can say,, just don't throw it out the window... you haven't... He has... i know that best friends are good, this is true,, but babes,, i've watched women in just the same thing you are going thru, and it's destructive to them (you)... i'm not condoning divorce,, but he needs a wake up call... and for three months babe,, you've got that oppurtunity to make that call...

    It's not worth your tears, being "Comfortable".. just doesn't get it anymore... you aren't comfortable,, you try to figure out what you are doing wrong.... YOU aren't doing a damn thing wrong... you give, give, and give.... and still,, you ask for the respect you fucking deserve, and still,,, you ain't getting it.... i should make a visit to Alabama, and set his happy lil ass straight,,, talk about coming to visit here and kick Mr. Captain Fucktardo's Ass,, ole Armyboy needs a swift kick up the ass as well...!! Letz have a asskickenparty!!

    YOU of all people deserve to be happy!!!!

    Love you,,Very Much,,,

    me~c
Yes my dear I know you are right...however, I don't like to quit...there is such history there...it is hard to walk away without always wondering if there was something else that could have saved it...I have a date in mind...I am not going to share it because I am not ready to...right now I am waiting to exhale I know you love me...and I love ya right back...


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 4:55 pm

    Quoting rm_mtnravyn:
    "Love" is defined by action not by words. If one relies on words to be open to second chances then there will probably never be enough. If the foucs is on the actions then "second" chance defines the number.

    A burben is too much to bear when one chooses to quit bearing it and not a moment sooner. And too far is too far when you say it is.

    There was book that came out in the 70" "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business."

    Those we love have the capacity to hurt us the most becasue it is with them that we are most open and vulnerable. Sort of like a porcupine, it keeps its quills up as protection when it does not feel safe, but when it does feel safe the soft underbelly is exposed.

    I wrote a blog on hte concept of "soul mate." Not a concept I believe in or endorse. Romantic fantasy is often far removed from the reality of being human with all its paradoxes and enigmas. I really appreciate the way you brought in the concept of "perfect moments" That seems to be more appropriate and realistic where humans are concerned. I believe where we get into trouble is when we believe that those moments are supposed to be ever present and when they're not that it means something other than a reflection of the depth of caring that may be present. A friend used to say that relationship is more about the care and concern between two people than any concept of love.

    I need some time to refelct more on those "perfect moments" and that fits my philosophy. Seems to be an important cornerstone fro shifting my perspective followoing this last year.
I hear ya. When I was younger I believed in the whole true love package...forever love and love endures all. But then I was much younger, less broken...I do believe in love...but I believe like I said it is perfect moments...and it is those moments that keep you hanging on...I know that is what holds me in the balance right now...

C~


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 4:56 pm

    Quoting angelofmercy5:
    "The one that loves us hurts us the most because they can". It is also the one that love us hurts us the most because we are vulnerable to that hurt. To truly become "soul mates", we must open up every door in our emotional psyche and that makes us vulnerable to hurt. It also opens us up to exquisite pleasure.....so it is a decision that has definite risks AND rewards.
Angel I agree with you...although what do you do when the pleasure is gone? C~


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 4:58 pm

    Quoting rm_byron1724:
    true love exists, its hard and it requires trust and honesty from both parties but its there.... as are soul mates... people who fit together as if they were always one.

    But if you open your heart to someone, you'd better be ready to pick up a few bruises on it, like the man said "tread softly, for you tread on my dreams" and becuase we allow someone in without restriction or constraint they can hurt us deeply.

    Of course if we let them get away with it then they'll do it again and again! So open your heart but don't be a doormat!

    Byron xxx
Byron...great thoughts. No I am not a doormat...I am a hostage of perfect moments


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 5:00 pm

    Quoting Intensity4U:
    Hey C~ Just keep getting your strength from the things you do know.
I~ I am much stronger than I expected....and I do take comfort in my knowledge...although it was earned through the school of hard knocks

kisses

C~


clitalicious67 49F

6/27/2006 5:02 pm

    Quoting Kaliedascope61:
    You can only have one second chance, after that it is a third chance, after that a fourth chance...get it?
Silly man...


Djeeper1987 47M

6/27/2006 5:18 pm

Just go with the flow.

Carpe Diem


jdocfunguy 50M

6/27/2006 5:57 pm

Just my 2 cents. Well, maybe a cent and a half.....

No matter how silly, Kaliedascope is right.

Nobody ever draws lines soon enough. They are just idle threats.

Soulmates can and do exist. However, they must be found, not made.

Now Chin up, Chest out.... Wow, what a picture!!!


rm_byron1724 53M
214 posts
6/28/2006 1:11 am

    Quoting clitalicious67:
    I~ I am much stronger than I expected....and I do take comfort in my knowledge...although it was earned through the school of hard knocks

    kisses

    C~
!? thats a phrase I didn't expect to see on the other side of the atlantic - are you perhaps a Liverpool girl? (but preferably one who supports the blue side, rather than the dark side?)


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