Forgiveness ~ a gift and a curse  

clitalicious67 49F
2596 posts
8/7/2006 7:39 am

Last Read:
8/7/2006 4:17 pm

Forgiveness ~ a gift and a curse

Have you ever had someone hurt you so deeply you never thought you could recover from it?

Well I have. In fact the memory of it still causes me to cry sometimes...

However, when we commit to someone, whether it be in friendship, marriage or any other kind of relationship where do you draw the line? What is for better or worse?

Sometimes forgiveness actually can set you free...free to move on and let go of the bitterness you feel and the anger and hurt. And sometimes it can open you up to receive the same treatment again.

I didn't think I could forgive this person...I had given everything I had to them...there was a great deal at stake and I felt taken for granted and used. I was in a downward spiral with little hope of recovering from it.

Then I stopped and stepped back from the situation, I realized that forgiveness would set me free and give the burden of responsibility to him...basically the ball is in his court. I cannot control what he does but I can control how I react to it...

Do I love him? Yes. Does it still hurt? Sometimes. Will it happen again? I don't know. If it does, will I forgive him? No.

Forgiveness shouldn't make you a fool...nor does it make you a better person than the one you are forgiving...the forgiveness is for you...for your peace...your healing and your way healing and mending on your own terms.

Is it easy to forgive? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Most of the time yes.

Why is it...?

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word
sung by Elton John


What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word



mewisemagic3 50M

8/7/2006 8:28 am

It easy to forgive if the apology is sincere. Everybody screws up sometimes and if we never forgave them, who would be left? The difficulty is when the same mistakes occur over and over. At some point they are no longer mistakes.


rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
8/7/2006 9:42 am

To forgive
Is not to forget.

To forgive
Is really to remember

That nobody is perfect

That each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright

That each of us says things
We wish we had never said

That we can all forget that love
Is more important than being right.

To forgive
Is really to remember

That we are so much more
Than our mistakes

That we are often more kind and caring
That accepting another's flaws
Can help us accept our own.

To forgive
Is to remember

That the odds are pretty good that
We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.

That life sometimes gives us more
Than we can handle gracefully.

To forgive
Is to remember

That we have room in our hearts to
Begin again

And again,

And again.

kisses, me~c

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


clitalicious67 49F

8/7/2006 9:44 am

    Quoting mewisemagic3:
    It easy to forgive if the apology is sincere. Everybody screws up sometimes and if we never forgave them, who would be left? The difficulty is when the same mistakes occur over and over. At some point they are no longer mistakes.
Very true...or maybe they are just better at hiding what they do...but I guess that is where ignorance is bliss comes into play Thanks for the insight C~


wickedeasy 66F  
25445 posts
8/7/2006 10:03 am

you are so right - forgiveness is a gift you give yourself - not the other person

but as me wise said - sometimes they are not mistakes, errors in judgement, sometimes the intent IS to wound the other

sighs - being a grown up sucks

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


ZZ_Todd 59M

8/7/2006 10:13 am

My Dad once told me (a typical pre-teen at the time... I did something that pissed him off, but I can't remember what it was)
"The best part of you dribbled down my leg." It's taken me the last 38 years to forgive him, but I obviously will never forget it; even though I have tried. He never apologized for it, and we've never even mentioned it since. Whoever came up with that "sticks and stones, etc. etc." saying obviously never got called names.


clitalicious67 49F

8/7/2006 11:04 am

    Quoting rm_CuummDrop:
    To forgive
    Is not to forget.

    To forgive
    Is really to remember

    That nobody is perfect

    That each of us stumbles
    When we want so much to stay upright

    That each of us says things
    We wish we had never said

    That we can all forget that love
    Is more important than being right.

    To forgive
    Is really to remember

    That we are so much more
    Than our mistakes

    That we are often more kind and caring
    That accepting another's flaws
    Can help us accept our own.

    To forgive
    Is to remember

    That the odds are pretty good that
    We might soon need to be forgiven ourselves.

    That life sometimes gives us more
    Than we can handle gracefully.

    To forgive
    Is to remember

    That we have room in our hearts to
    Begin again

    And again,

    And again.

    kisses, me~c
Hey babe I am with you...I have ridden the forgiveness train many a time...to forgive is divine...


clitalicious67 49F

8/7/2006 11:05 am

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    you are so right - forgiveness is a gift you give yourself - not the other person

    but as me wise said - sometimes they are not mistakes, errors in judgement, sometimes the intent IS to wound the other

    sighs - being a grown up sucks
Wicked I hear ya...lets just protest and NOT grow up!!! LOL


clitalicious67 49F

8/7/2006 11:07 am

    Quoting ZZ_Todd:
    My Dad once told me (a typical pre-teen at the time... I did something that pissed him off, but I can't remember what it was)
    "The best part of you dribbled down my leg." It's taken me the last 38 years to forgive him, but I obviously will never forget it; even though I have tried. He never apologized for it, and we've never even mentioned it since. Whoever came up with that "sticks and stones, etc. etc." saying obviously never got called names.
Ohhh sorry that he said that to you...what a horrible burden to carry...and to be so young...I am glad you could find a way to forgive him though...tight hugs C~


rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
8/7/2006 3:19 pm

    Quoting ZZ_Todd:
    My Dad once told me (a typical pre-teen at the time... I did something that pissed him off, but I can't remember what it was)
    "The best part of you dribbled down my leg." It's taken me the last 38 years to forgive him, but I obviously will never forget it; even though I have tried. He never apologized for it, and we've never even mentioned it since. Whoever came up with that "sticks and stones, etc. etc." saying obviously never got called names.
There was a time when i was younger wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy younger i had done something to piss Mommy off... So much so, out of her mouth she said Quote "I wish I never had you, you ruined my life"....

Later in years i finally approached her one day with what she had said, you know "outta the mouth of babes"... Of course she never fessed up to saying it, "Probably one of those times I was really mad at you"... But that was never forgotten, to this day, i remember EXACTLY what i was wearing.... Of course, i forgave Mommy,,, but,, i'll never forget,, and i will never under any circumstances utter those words to my daughter.. EVER!

Hugsssssssss you!!

me~c

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


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