For Shitz -n- Giggles...  

clitalicious67 49F
2596 posts
5/30/2006 2:25 pm

Last Read:
6/1/2006 5:05 pm

For Shitz -n- Giggles...

Ok I don't consider myself middle aged yet but I am quickly knockin' on it's door...and some of this stuff I discovered very early...

24 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY MIDDLE AGE:

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your azz look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well; stay fit; die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is chocolate in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Peace

C~



imLadyBambi 58M/50F

5/30/2006 3:17 pm

clita,

Too funny!!LOL!!

Lady Bambi


rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
5/30/2006 3:20 pm

ummm Yeah.... "By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends."

Or by the time you figured it out,, someone changes the script...

kiss kiss..me~c

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


honeycomb1974 44M/42F
282 posts
5/30/2006 4:21 pm

You are so right about these and they are funny the sad thing is most of them are true. Honey and Runt


Djeeper1987 47M

5/30/2006 4:47 pm

number 13

Carpe Diem


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
5/30/2006 5:49 pm

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

very true

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

as long as you know the truth about you, F**K 'em

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

most of the sinners I know are regular church goers

4. It ain't the jeans that make your azz look fat.

Hey, my jeans are getting looser

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

could not have put it better myself

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

I give myself and the house a white glove inspection, old military habit

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Life is too short to take serious

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

you got that right

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

Waht the government does best, find something simple and complicate it

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

now that was just plain mean

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

so true

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

so true

13. Eat well; stay fit; die anyway.

yep!

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

it's just that testosterone and estrogen thing taht messes evverything up

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

uh, I was shot at, sh was a bad aim

16. A balanced diet is chocolate in each hand.

amen to that!

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I resemble that

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

can't disagree with that one!

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

know that feeling all too well

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

and usually they are in a position of power, politicians are a perfect example

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

damn! I left the cam on again!

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

they being the government trying to help us again

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

God I hope not

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

those guys and gals are usally commited, seriously check out yur local sanitarium


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:11 pm

Glad I could give you a giggle!

C~


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:11 pm

LadyB so glad you enjoyed it!!! C~


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:12 pm

    Quoting rm_CuummDrop:
    ummm Yeah.... "By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends."

    Or by the time you figured it out,, someone changes the script...

    kiss kiss..me~c
Babe I feel ya'

Hugs

C~


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:12 pm

    Quoting honeycomb1974:
    You are so right about these and they are funny the sad thing is most of them are true. Honey and Runt
Honey and Runt...yep they all hit close to home


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:13 pm

Silly man...and I love the new pic btw!


clitalicious67 49F

5/30/2006 6:15 pm

    Quoting reverend21:
    1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

    very true

    2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

    as long as you know the truth about you, F**K 'em

    3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    most of the sinners I know are regular church goers

    4. It ain't the jeans that make your azz look fat.

    Hey, my jeans are getting looser

    5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    could not have put it better myself

    6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

    I give myself and the house a white glove inspection, old military habit

    7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

    Life is too short to take serious

    8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

    you got that right

    9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

    Waht the government does best, find something simple and complicate it

    10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

    now that was just plain mean

    11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

    so true

    12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

    so true

    13. Eat well; stay fit; die anyway.

    yep!

    14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

    it's just that testosterone and estrogen thing taht messes evverything up

    15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

    uh, I was shot at, sh was a bad aim

    16. A balanced diet is chocolate in each hand.

    amen to that!

    17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

    I resemble that

    18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

    can't disagree with that one!

    19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

    know that feeling all too well

    20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

    and usually they are in a position of power, politicians are a perfect example

    21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

    damn! I left the cam on again!

    22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

    they being the government trying to help us again

    23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

    God I hope not

    24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

    those guys and gals are usally commited, seriously check out yur local sanitarium
I just love a man that plays along with me thanks C~


rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
5/30/2006 6:39 pm

You don't look middle aged either. Shortdogg


pandoo5 59M
398 posts
5/30/2006 7:12 pm

you don't look middle age because see how many me are here and I liked 18 and 24, 18 have philosophical meaning, you stand up to go and cum on stretcher.


jdocfunguy 50M

5/30/2006 7:44 pm

My two cents:

Number 3: A near perfect analogy.
Number 8: I always ask permission, but do it anyway if Ithink it's important.
Number 15: Actually, I believe that a doctor who performed abortions was shot and killed while doing the dishes by a crazy activist. Need to change it to "while folding clothes." (I HATE folding clothes)
Number 24: I feel so alone sometimes. Why is logic in such short supply?


wickedeasy 66F  
25457 posts
6/1/2006 11:11 am

i loved this - sent it on to my galpals

once saw a female comedian who said, "sorry i'm so out of breath, i just finished dusting" rotfl

the women roared, the men just sat there looking like deer in the headlights.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


clitalicious67 49F

6/1/2006 5:05 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    i loved this - sent it on to my galpals

    once saw a female comedian who said, "sorry i'm so out of breath, i just finished dusting" rotfl

    the women roared, the men just sat there looking like deer in the headlights.
Ohhhh yeah the men WOULD just sit there lol


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