The 8 Dick Salute  

clevergirl4U 58F
1461 posts
3/11/2006 10:58 pm

Last Read:
3/21/2006 3:14 am

The 8 Dick Salute

Law of averages...it was BOUND to happen.

This morning, as I sat with my first cup of coffee
and logged on ....

8 DICKS

attached to 8 strangers

stared back at me from my homepage

(Note to management: TWO is MORE than sufficient before breakfast, thank you very much.)

2 were deformed (mis-shapen and pointing in strange directions)

2 were teeny-tiny

1 was photo-shopped to knee length

1 barely peeked out from under a large man's belly rolls

1 was scarlet red and screamed STDs

and #8 was stuck in another woman's ass.

I was ABSOLUTELY OVERCOME with INDECISION as to which of these dicks I should write to first!!

I know that I must be at least the 100th, or more, woman on this site to BEG you, PLEASE, put your dick back in your pants! Show me your smile, your eyes, your torso, your black lab, poodle, or golden retriever, your toys (if you must), your tattoo, or the prize-winning squash you grew last fall. But for god's sake, put your man-tool away! Woman are not NEARLY as fascinated by it as you are.

Disclaimer; If 50+ women have told you, in person, that your dick is the most beautiful dick that they have EVER seen and that they have felt inspired to build ALTARS on which to WORSHIP your magnificent dick, I will take a look...

Ladies, please help me here. Has one woman ever decided that they simply MUST meet a man, based on a photo of his dick? OR, to the men, has a woman ever absolutely insisted on meeting you because you sent her an unsolicited photo of your "pride and joy?"

Clever


CamCumWithMe 59M

3/12/2006 4:30 am

Believe it or not, I'm a guy who agrees with you 100%. I suppose you could ask that same question to men, slightly reworded maybe ("Have you been successful in meeting women based only on your profile's dick pic?") but you'd probably get a bunch of lies as answers. Anyway... maybe more guys will read this and get the hint. (Here's a thought, set up your question in a poll!)


rm_Gentle12553 66M
1378 posts
3/12/2006 4:53 am

Couldn't agree with more....what are these cowboys thinking....Geeze, let me add an enlarged photo of "my johnson" and all the women on the AdultFriendFinder site with jump at the chance of getting me in the sack and I can feel that monster inside me....? Sure...right....as for me...well you can see my smile is actually bigger....well,..we will not go into that....suffice to say... naaaah, even a fish who keeps his mouth shut will not get caught


swlaman1 65M

3/12/2006 10:12 am

The same goes in reverse. If I wanted a tour of the Grand Canyon, I'd go to Arizona. But since I'm not getting them in emails, I'm just cruising profiles, I suppose I have no grounds for a complaint.

Still, I was once drawn to a profile by pair is roguish eyes. Another caught my interest with a photo of a gloved hand holding a single red rose. These women are clearly telling you what they want in return. If you need someone to explain it to you, move on. Take your Johnson with you.

So guys, I'm thinking it's not your weenie that most women are looking for anyway (at least not at the introduction). One half of the population has one. The majority of the other half has one, or two, or more of their own to play with. I'm thinking women are looking for a man with a brain, and a heart, and some nerve, to take that yellow brick road tour of the Grand Canyon. And by the time you get to my age you had better have plenty of all three.

Oh, and most people are scared shitless at the sight of a knee length Johnson, morphed or not.

Peace.


Northerncumfort2 66M  
65 posts
3/12/2006 11:26 am

Ok....Here goes!

When I first became a member of this site, I posted a scholarly photo with book and pipe, wrote a scholarly thesis on "Why Are We Here and What Do We Want," and emphasized in my profile that Intelligence and Sensuality were NOT mutually exclusive.

The treatise was read (no comments or responses posted), the profile was viewed (anonymously) and the email box had one letter ("Welcome to AdultFriendFinder").

So PURELY in the spirit of researching female response patterns (hem-hem), I created another (and blatantly similar) "addy" to showcase the more erotic side of my personality. Complete with erotic photography (move eyes left), I wrote a profile that sought to reach the "inner woman" residing at an address slightly below the frontal cortex.

Well, the "returns" are in and the erotic profile wins hands down. While the "intellectual" personna continues to enjoy a certain limited circulation, the "Tantric Connection" seems to have a much wider appeal.

In the interests of preserving your morning appetite, dear Clever, I shall endeavor to remember to visit your profile in the more genteel of my personalities!


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 2:45 pm

    Quoting rm_Gentle12553:
    Couldn't agree with more....what are these cowboys thinking....Geeze, let me add an enlarged photo of "my johnson" and all the women on the AdultFriendFinder site with jump at the chance of getting me in the sack and I can feel that monster inside me....? Sure...right....as for me...well you can see my smile is actually bigger....well,..we will not go into that....suffice to say... naaaah, even a fish who keeps his mouth shut will not get caught
Hey Gentle; Thanks for visiting! Look forward to a long-distance friendship...


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 2:50 pm

    Quoting rm_lash310:
    Brava! I have, on occasion, been moved to inform some people that in order to actually connect on this site (for whatever purpose), it is necessary for a guy to be more than just a life support system for his genitals. The guys that I have attempted to convince of this normally don't listen, and I suspect that it has more to do with their self-gratification than any real desire to meet people...but whatever. I mostly went there in a futile and abortive attempt to spare myself from hearing their "why can't I ever hook up/all the chicks here are fake" whining.

    Maybe these losers will listen this time.
Lash: TOO funy..." a life support system for genitals"

You're a clever guy!


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 3:00 pm

    Quoting swlaman1:
    The same goes in reverse. If I wanted a tour of the Grand Canyon, I'd go to Arizona. But since I'm not getting them in emails, I'm just cruising profiles, I suppose I have no grounds for a complaint.

    Still, I was once drawn to a profile by pair is roguish eyes. Another caught my interest with a photo of a gloved hand holding a single red rose. These women are clearly telling you what they want in return. If you need someone to explain it to you, move on. Take your Johnson with you.

    So guys, I'm thinking it's not your weenie that most women are looking for anyway (at least not at the introduction). One half of the population has one. The majority of the other half has one, or two, or more of their own to play with. I'm thinking women are looking for a man with a brain, and a heart, and some nerve, to take that yellow brick road tour of the Grand Canyon. And by the time you get to my age you had better have plenty of all three.

    Oh, and most people are scared shitless at the sight of a knee length Johnson, morphed or not.

    Peace.
Hey swlaman: I feel the same way about women looking for vitual gyno exams, but since I'm not a lesbiam, I don't feel qualified to put my two cents in. From what men WRITE me, I'd say 75% agree with you, and the other 25% would like to be able to look up there and see her tonsils And yes, I would run screaming from the room if a man unbuttoned his 501's and a knee-length dick dropped out!

I love roguish rogues...I wonder if there is a female equivalent?


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 3:17 pm

    Quoting Northerncumfort2:
    Ok....Here goes!

    When I first became a member of this site, I posted a scholarly photo with book and pipe, wrote a scholarly thesis on "Why Are We Here and What Do We Want," and emphasized in my profile that Intelligence and Sensuality were NOT mutually exclusive.

    The treatise was read (no comments or responses posted), the profile was viewed (anonymously) and the email box had one letter ("Welcome to AdultFriendFinder").

    So PURELY in the spirit of researching female response patterns (hem-hem), I created another (and blatantly similar) "addy" to showcase the more erotic side of my personality. Complete with erotic photography (move eyes left), I wrote a profile that sought to reach the "inner woman" residing at an address slightly below the frontal cortex.

    Well, the "returns" are in and the erotic profile wins hands down. While the "intellectual" personna continues to enjoy a certain limited circulation, the "Tantric Connection" seems to have a much wider appeal.

    In the interests of preserving your morning appetite, dear Clever, I shall endeavor to remember to visit your profile in the more genteel of my personalities!
Northern: I have had the SAME experience:

*No photo/intelligent profile = moderate response, which for a woman is not at all bad

* Tastefully nude (sitting naked in a bath with water cascading over my nipples)/ same intelligent profile = I had to give up my day job just to read the mail, and 75% of the respose required a "You want be to do WHAT!!!/ WTF replies

* A photo of my roguish (see swlaman) eyes/funny, yet intelligent profile = ten emails per day, mostly from men that I would like to meet

So, for a WOMAN, quality beats quantity every time.

On a more serious note, I felt differently about you when the fleshy photo appeared.(not quite sure what it IS) I think dick shot = serious perv, in MY mind.


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 3:20 pm

Cam: Welcome to my Blog! I'm not surprised by your response at all
You obviously know the difference between a woman who ASKS to see you, and a woman who has it served up in her face with morning's first coffee.

Please note that I took your advice and have posed the question to men.




CamCumWithMe:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Believe it or not, I'm a guy who agrees with you 100%. I suppose you could ask that same question to men, slightly reworded maybe ("Have you been successful in meeting women based only on your profile's dick pic?") but you'd probably get a bunch of lies as answers. Anyway... maybe more guys will read this and get the hint. (Here's a thought, set up your question in a poll!)


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
3/12/2006 3:20 pm

I have a snappy pic that I send once in a while.
They always say that they like the color of paint on the walls.
It's a nice shade of green.
At least I have that going for me.
hahaha..........

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


clevergirl4U 58F

3/12/2006 3:45 pm

    Quoting spinmedown:
    I have a snappy pic that I send once in a while.
    They always say that they like the color of paint on the walls.
    It's a nice shade of green.
    At least I have that going for me.
    hahaha..........
Guess that would be the equivalent of men asking me which bubble bath product I use when I send them my photo of me naked in the bathtub...lol


swlaman1 65M

3/12/2006 7:29 pm

Clever, that was supposed to read "I was once drawn to a profile by a pair of roguish eyes".
To bad the spell checker can't spot dumb mistakes.

Peace and proof read.


swlaman1 65M

3/12/2006 9:27 pm

Wait, wait, hold it. After carefully rereading this blog to date, I’m rethinking this. Perhaps it’s a matter of what kind of fish you are trying to catch that determines what kind of bait you choose.

I am reminded of a lyric from an old John Prine song, which I will quote:

I once had a girl from Venus.
Her insides were lined with gold.
She did what she did, asked me how was it kid.
She was politely told. Pretty good. Not Bad. I can’t complain.
But actually all them things is just about the same.

If you are trying to hook that golden lining, you are likely to use your gold rod to go fishing. If you are looking for a woman (or man) that can count her toes twice and get the same number twice you must select different bait.

I have been through my quest for the Golden Fleece. I am now fishing for the authentic person (stolen without apology from Clevergirl4u). Although my tackle box is in dire need of a few new lures.

So if someone is still on the odyssey, then more power to ‘em. Run, run boys and girls. Have fun and do all the things that later in life will make you think, “I can’t believe I ate...” It ain’t nohow permanent.

Clever, maybe you should be flattered that so many are fishing in your pond even if it’s with the wrong bait? Nahh. Nothing should fuck with your first cup of coffee. No excuses.

Peace.


clevergirl4U 58F

3/13/2006 6:15 am

laman: Enjoyed my coffee this morning...a much better roll of the dice

Your idea of "lures" is interesting, but I think if one is an authentic person, like-minded people are naturally drawn to you, and want to interact with you. THAT is why YOU must start a blog!

[blog valleyrat] just re-wrote his profile and I was impressed over what he had to say. I don't know if he has posted it yet, but he is giving it a trial run in his blog. Think you would find it an example of authentic and a fresh perspective.


clevergirl4U 58F

3/13/2006 6:17 am

laman: that would be[blog valleyrat4]


swlaman1 65M

3/13/2006 5:02 pm

Hey Northern, read your post while nodding my head "yea, unhuh". I'm experiencing somewhat less than a plethora of responses myself. But I'm still not ready to post a picture of my dick on the web. I am also not willing to trade my intellect for a piece of ass. Well at least not for a third time.

Peace. Keep me updated on your research


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