Is Chatting Cheating?  

clevergirl4U 58F
1461 posts
4/5/2006 11:12 am

Last Read:
4/12/2006 10:57 am

Is Chatting Cheating?

While I was working online today, the news program I had playing in the background featured a story titled "Is Chatting Cheating?" According to the commentator, browsing dating websites and/or porn online cannot be considered cheating. But once a person engages in email exchanges and chatting online with anyone they would consider a potential sexual partner, they have crossed the line into "cheating behavior." IF I understood what she was saying:

* one is cheating if they know that their behavior would upset their partner and they are therefore secretive about it...

* one is cheating if they are expending relationship energy online, rather than investing it in their real life relationship...

* one is cheating when this online relationship has a detrimental effect on a real life relationship...

Interesting idea...cheating with your heart, mind and fingers It brings up all kinds of provocative questions. Are virtual relationships really not that virtual after all? Is chatting cheating?


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
4/5/2006 2:35 pm

Cheating is betraying a partner's trust.

It's that simple.

Whether it's with words or actions, the intent is what matters.

You should be clever enough to understand this.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


clevergirl4U 58F

4/5/2006 3:01 pm

    Quoting DIVISION77:
    Cheating is betraying a partner's trust.

    It's that simple.

    Whether it's with words or actions, the intent is what matters.

    You should be clever enough to understand this.

    DIV
I intentionally didn't interject my thoughts on this. I KNOW what I think...I am more curious as to what others have to say


swlaman1 65M

4/5/2006 4:03 pm

Set within the boundaries which commentator established there is still wiggle room.

-May be the partner is a real tight ass that gets upset over everything.
-Every erg of your life energy can't be invested in a single relationship. That would be worse than prison.
-Many things can have a detrimental effect on a relationship. I can think of a relationship where one or both partners could play out fantasies in blogland thereby avoiding the real thing. Net result positive.

Anyway, this is AdultFriendFinder. Read the profiles.I suspect everyone here is guilty of committing "adultery in your heart”. And if any haven't, you may cast your stones at me now.

Peace. Ouch! That HURT!


norprin5 55M

4/5/2006 4:35 pm

if chatting is cheating, then i've been actively cheating for 5 years

my reaction (and i've ranted on this in my own blog) :

let's get over this righteous holier-than-thou traditional morality
bullshit already! most 'traditional morality', sexually speaking, has been created by the Christian church as another artificial means of controlling the masses. anything taken from the BIble gets bastardized and twisted to fit the wants of the few who want the control

rant over

*blows kiss & shuffles out*

King Nor XVIII


clevergirl4U 58F

4/5/2006 5:01 pm

you can rant here anytime, sweetie

Pretty safe to assume that anyone who has shown up here, on this site, has probably rejected the socially constructed norms for sexual behavior and is marching to their very own drummer


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
4/5/2006 10:52 pm

I'm with Division77 on this one.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
4/5/2006 10:53 pm

norprin5 - thou doth protesteth too much!

(sorry, couldn't resist)

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


clevergirl4U 58F

4/6/2006 8:09 am

Just playing devil's advocate here, but if you are one who considers your online friendships "real," wouldn't your online sexual adventures be equally "real?" I'm playing with the question "How 'virtual' is virtual?"


Seriously_Real 48M

4/6/2006 8:11 am

Yeah. What she said.

--Seriously


clevergirl4U 58F

4/6/2006 9:09 am

thanks for visiting That would be 2 "yeas" and 3 "nays...


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
4/6/2006 9:39 am

    Quoting clevergirl4U:
    Just playing devil's advocate here, but if you are one who considers your online friendships "real," wouldn't your online sexual adventures be equally "real?" I'm playing with the question "How 'virtual' is virtual?"
Depends on the intimacy of the "friendship".

There's a point of no return.

I'm not here for NSA type relationships, so if I meet someone on here it would be for a monogamous LTR.

That said, it's obviously virtual in my case.

I'm as real as you can get. Like a plane flight away "real".

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
4/6/2006 9:49 am

more fonder for the lawyers


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


clevergirl4U 58F

4/6/2006 10:14 am

    Quoting papyrina:
    more fonder for the lawyers
Exactly...your mind must work like mine!

Along with this "fluff piece" new came the very sad, scary and serious news about the 55 year-old assistant deputy of Homeland Security. He is being charged with a variety of very REAL and SERIOUS crimes in connection to his online relationship with a 14 year-old girl(who was in fact an undercover agent POSING as a 14 year-old girl)Some charges have to do with the violation of confidence with regards to his office...other charges have to do with the sexually predatory nature of his online relationship with this "girl." LEGALLY speaking, the line between virtual and real is becoming VERY blurred.


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
4/6/2006 12:04 pm

Oh no...here we go again, lol

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


clevergirl4U 58F

4/6/2006 5:18 pm

    Quoting swlaman1:
    Set within the boundaries which commentator established there is still wiggle room.

    -May be the partner is a real tight ass that gets upset over everything.
    -Every erg of your life energy can't be invested in a single relationship. That would be worse than prison.
    -Many things can have a detrimental effect on a relationship. I can think of a relationship where one or both partners could play out fantasies in blogland thereby avoiding the real thing. Net result positive.

    Anyway, this is AdultFriendFinder. Read the profiles.I suspect everyone here is guilty of committing "adultery in your heart”. And if any haven't, you may cast your stones at me now.

    Peace. Ouch! That HURT!
Yes...I seem to be dodging my fair share of stones these days Like what you had to say about what was "set within the boundaries"...Given the additional input, what do you think?


rm_4wolfsr 57M

4/6/2006 8:19 pm

With most relationships there are spoken and unspoken boundries. Since I tend to be monogomous when I am in a relationship I would look at chatting as cheating as long as monogamy was implied or stated in the relationship. There is a trust factor wether it be casual friends or an intimate relationship. I find it difficult to be friends with someone I can not trust and even more difficult to be intimate with someone I can't trust.
If a woman told me upfront that she enjoyed playing and chatting on line then I can accept that and not call it "cheating" since there is no deception. By nature I am a trusting person until I'm proven other wise. So, if I found by accident there were conversations taking place that I was not aware of, I would be inclined to view the actions a decietful.


swlaman1 65M

4/6/2006 9:22 pm

All of these commentator types set the boundaries before they present their case. How else can they always be right?

If you are dodging stones it's only because you are standing tall. Many people are threatened by that. Hence stones.

So keep it up girl! (oxymoron?)

Peace


twirly_girl 47F

4/6/2006 10:17 pm

Haha! I'm gonna go with the voting thing. It's much easier when everyone beat me to the punch. lol

Good topic!

-Nikki


clevergirl4U 58F

4/7/2006 2:21 pm

Ok you two...break it up!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
4/8/2006 4:05 pm

Given the conditions set in this post, for me chatting is cheating.

I may be somewhat biased though. You see, my ex-wife cheated this way. In short order she met her "soul-mate", moved 500 miles away to be with him, and left me with our three children and broken dreams.


clevergirl4U 58F

4/8/2006 6:09 pm

    Quoting keithcancook:
    Given the conditions set in this post, for me chatting is cheating.

    I may be somewhat biased though. You see, my ex-wife cheated this way. In short order she met her "soul-mate", moved 500 miles away to be with him, and left me with our three children and broken dreams.
Given your situation, I think you have the right to be pretty biased
Keith. Thanks for that insight


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