Bad, Bad Boy.......  

clevergirl4U 58F
1461 posts
4/13/2006 3:15 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2007 6:37 am

Bad, Bad Boy.......

***** THe MUCH REVISED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL*****


I feel like a cat stretched out on a sunny window sill today...a serious lack of excited brain cells and firing synapses...more a slow simmer of sensuality and sexual feelings....waiting to be fed by Mickey Rourke I've had bad boys on my mind lately.

<---------------Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks. Another favorite "bad boy" movie moment is probably Johnny Depp as the gypsy in Chocolat. Oh... and Dennis Quaid in The Big Easy...yes...I have a list...

I believed that I had long since outgrown my attraction to "bad boys" when I took that double-take at the man who was to be my former lover. And why would I want to "outgrow" bad boys?

They are ultimately unavailable... both emotionally and literally. Emotionally, they often hide behind a wicked sense of humor OR a smoldering, mysterious moodiness. You may get occasional, teasing glimpse into the man's heart, but he keeps his feelings well-hidden, leaving a woman to wonder about what secrets may lie within. And women are such curious creatures

And how are they literally unavailable? They are fully engaged in life....moving, growing, changing. You suspect they are on some sort of personal quest. You know that you are one of many ports in the storm...he may re-dock in your port one day, but he will never pull that boat up on the shore for longer than a minor over-haul

So why the attraction?

For me, the bad boy breaks all the rules that maybe I would like to break...he has probably lived out most of my sexual fantasies. Not only does he color outside the lines, but he is often delightfully outrageous.(My former lover would send me text messages, in the most colorful language, telling me what he wanted me to do to me at THAT moment. At THAT moment I was in the CARPOOL LINE, chatting with other mothers, while my heart raced and my face flushed at the thought of his proposal.)Those were fun days. I both laughed and blushed, alot.


He is ALWAYS a skilled lover.

He oozes self-confidence and raw sexuality. You can see it in the intensity of his glance and his mischievious smile.(Think Brad Pitt's mouth.)What he lacks in classic good looks he more than makes up for in attitude. He is never needy. If I give you this quote from the internet about what he is NOT, you will get the idea:

"LET'S GET something straight: The polar opposite of a bad boy is not a nice guy, but an overly-nice guy. The difference is in the desperation. Nice guys call when they say they will. Overly-nice guys call every 20 minutes just to thank you for "being you." Going out with an overly-nice guy is like being beaten to death with a Hallmark card."

Oh, and did I mention that he is ALWAYS a skilled lover?

He is generous, but not by giving the usual, sentimental gifts. I have never had a bad boy give me flowers, let alone the infamous Hallmark card. He will bring the perfect, rare and expensive bottle of wine. He WILL give me a bottle of a relatively unknown brand of perfume, nonchalantly letting me know that he thinks it is perfect for ME. He may pick up a book for me to add to my existing collection...the same with music. He does this because he pays attention ...he KNOWS me, RESPECTS me and genuinely LIKES who I am as a person. He appreciates that we are equals, and encourages me on my OWN journey.

And yes, AlWAYS a skilled lover....

SO...Have you out-grown the "bad boy", or does he still generate a double-take and catch you off guard? Who do you consider the "bad boys" of Blogland? Are you a "nice guy" who needs "bad boy" lessons? Obviously, the "bad boys" won't be returning this call Is there a female equivalent to the "bad boy?" If so, how is she different from a "bad boy"? Examples of "bad girls?" Favorite "bad boy" movie moment?



rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
4/13/2006 4:14 pm

Ya know, most of the bad boys I've known have turned out to be really great guys underneath.

My first thought of a bad boy of blogland was Expat the Perv.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


expatbrit49 62M

4/13/2006 5:08 pm

Hmm, not sure I agree with that description of a bad boy, I think whether some one is considered a bad boy is more a matter of perception driven by a need to live a little on the wild side, but thats only my opinion.

Is there a female equivalent of a bad boy.... sure there is the woman that uses her sexuality to provide the same shock value that bad boys use.

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


alwayswetter 52M

4/13/2006 6:28 pm

Will women always go for the bad boy image, of course it's human nature to want what you can't have. Female versions or I guess "bad girls", it's all in perception I guess. It's like the saying about the difference between(exscuse the word) a whore and a bitch, A whore sleeps with everyone and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you .
The best bad boy moment, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". nuff said


rm_4wolfsr 57M

4/13/2006 7:03 pm

In the book "Wild at Heart" there is an intersting spin on the concept of the bad boy image that many women seem to crave. Men, it states, have a need for three things: an adventure to be had, a battle to be fought and a woman to rescue. (I know, sounds somewhat sexist but think outside the box, if you will. It could be "rescue" from a lot of different things). Put in perspective, why do you think so many men like to hunt, fish, play sports, etc. They are surrogates for what lies caged deep inside. Men today, in general, are bound to social and cultural "rules" of responsiblity. While in many cases the responsible person is the one that is needed by women to ensure stablity for the family, that in turn is what tames the man. SInce women also crave the adventure they look at the "bad boy" image that is out there. The thinking is, perhaps, that this image will in some way bring them to new levels of gratification (sexual and otherwise). In the "bad boy" they see the opportunity for an adventure to share. Typically, what women will find in the bad boy is not a new adventure to share with the man, but rather to the "bad boy" the woman WAS the adventure. ANd once the adventure has been had, it is no longer unique. The "bad boy" moves on and the reputation lives on, with a trail of another broken heart left along the way.

Just offering up a different perspective on things. 1/3 Loyal Reader


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
4/13/2006 7:56 pm

Actually the 'net article sounds like a Rude and Inconsiderate Boy.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
51F

4/13/2006 8:00 pm

Is there a female equivalent to the "bad boy?"

the femme fatale

Princess, who never met a bad boy she didn't like...

TTFN


swlaman1 65M

4/13/2006 9:14 pm

Huh?


rm_69SuperSport 47M
12 posts
4/14/2006 3:55 am

" i AM that i AM" You can decide for yaself..~Wink~


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:40 am

Apologies for the revision...as some of you noted, it was not "on the mark" and perfectionist that I am, I had to get out the eraser and start over.


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:42 am

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Ya know, most of the bad boys I've known have turned out to be really great guys underneath.

    My first thought of a bad boy of blogland was Expat the Perv.
Yes...most definitely a touch of bad-boyishness there


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:48 am

    Quoting expatbrit49:
    Hmm, not sure I agree with that description of a bad boy, I think whether some one is considered a bad boy is more a matter of perception driven by a need to live a little on the wild side, but thats only my opinion.

    Is there a female equivalent of a bad boy.... sure there is the woman that uses her sexuality to provide the same shock value that bad boys use.
Agreed...the original definition didn't ring true to my experience...hence the revision...thanks for the honest assessment

Hmmm "...need to live a little on the wild side" ...so bad boys must have an extraordinary appeal for good girls?


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:50 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Actually the 'net article sounds like a Rude and Inconsiderate Boy.
You're right...that's what I get for being lazy and using someone else's words!

Hope that you like the revision better


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:55 am

    Quoting alwayswetter:
    Will women always go for the bad boy image, of course it's human nature to want what you can't have. Female versions or I guess "bad girls", it's all in perception I guess. It's like the saying about the difference between(exscuse the word) a whore and a bitch, A whore sleeps with everyone and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you .
    The best bad boy moment, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". nuff said
No doubt...Rhett was the inveterate bad boy!

I grew up in Canada and fed my over-active adolescent imagination on several re-reads of "Gone With the Wind." It was no surprise that when I finally married, I married a version of Rhett. Cautionary tale...take a good look at what your kids are reading


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:59 am

    Quoting rm_4wolfsr:
    In the book "Wild at Heart" there is an intersting spin on the concept of the bad boy image that many women seem to crave. Men, it states, have a need for three things: an adventure to be had, a battle to be fought and a woman to rescue. (I know, sounds somewhat sexist but think outside the box, if you will. It could be "rescue" from a lot of different things). Put in perspective, why do you think so many men like to hunt, fish, play sports, etc. They are surrogates for what lies caged deep inside. Men today, in general, are bound to social and cultural "rules" of responsiblity. While in many cases the responsible person is the one that is needed by women to ensure stablity for the family, that in turn is what tames the man. SInce women also crave the adventure they look at the "bad boy" image that is out there. The thinking is, perhaps, that this image will in some way bring them to new levels of gratification (sexual and otherwise). In the "bad boy" they see the opportunity for an adventure to share. Typically, what women will find in the bad boy is not a new adventure to share with the man, but rather to the "bad boy" the woman WAS the adventure. ANd once the adventure has been had, it is no longer unique. The "bad boy" moves on and the reputation lives on, with a trail of another broken heart left along the way.

    Just offering up a different perspective on things. 1/3 Loyal Reader
Hey "One of Three"....

Very good insights...yes, it is always a wild ride and an adventure...and yes, he invariably moves on. But in truth, by the time that happens, BOTH the good girl, and her bad boy, are more than ready to part ways. These relationships tend to be exhausting.


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 9:02 am

    Quoting redlipsprincess:
    Is there a female equivalent to the "bad boy?"

    the femme fatale

    Princess, who never met a bad boy she didn't like...
I'll have to come visit But initial impression? I can see that


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 9:05 am

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    In my youth I had a lot of them. They were exciting drama and sucked me in. I called them the Peter Pan men and they usually had a host of cohorts to play with. Elusive devils! Divergent thinkers. Lawless revelers. Most of those bad boys are dead, some of them had daughters and reformed their ways.

    I am still attracted to men who think outside the box. At my age now, an ex bad girl, I cannot stand any heartless drama.

    My favorite movie badboy of the moment is Pierce Brosnan in the Thomas Crown Affair.
LMAO

very good description...they ARE "elusive devils" and nothing like a daughter to straighten one out


expatbrit49 62M

4/14/2006 9:47 am

OK a revised post and a revised comment:
A much better description of a bad boy than the original and I would agree with most of that. I dont know if its a good thing or not but there is a lot of me in that post (lol ) The rest of my comment stays the same though.

Daph...... Thanks sweetie, but don't go telling everyone we are great underneath LOL

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 10:37 am

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Ya know, most of the bad boys I've known have turned out to be really great guys underneath.

    My first thought of a bad boy of blogland was Expat the Perv.
You've actually SEEN the soft underside of a bad boy!!?? Way to GO, girl


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
4/14/2006 2:03 pm

hahaha...I know what you mean...same holds true for the girls...I had one that I had to shut off every mode of comunication cause if I didn't respond...it wasn't every 20 minutes it was every ten....just to make sure everything was OK...LMAO

lustytaurus


kyplowboy22 61M

4/14/2006 4:56 pm

**think I better just ride this one out, listening to the banter**


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 8:13 pm

    Quoting kyplowboy22:
    **think I better just ride this one out, listening to the banter**
Don't blame you That's all it is...silly banter and flirting...a little "feel good fun..."

Let's talk soon...wahine is really going to DO it!


clevergirl4U 58F

4/14/2006 9:04 pm

    Quoting expatbrit49:
    OK a revised post and a revised comment:
    A much better description of a bad boy than the original and I would agree with most of that. I dont know if its a good thing or not but there is a lot of me in that post (lol ) The rest of my comment stays the same though.

    Daph...... Thanks sweetie, but don't go telling everyone we are great underneath LOL
Bad boys are WONDERFUL when a woman is at the time in her life to fully appreciate and enjoy a bad boy. But there's "the rub," as they say...

Expat...the bad boy with a soft underbelly...just don't go breaking too many hearts


swlaman1 65M

4/14/2006 10:07 pm

Bad boys. I have known several. A couple became dear friends. One of the best I have ever seen in action is my brother. But you act as though they work their wiles only on women. Not so.

It was great to be with these guys. They have a charisma that is palpable, visceral. Dangerous. To go anywhere with them was like a roller coaster ride, exciting and sometimes scary.

What is the attraction? I don’t know. Is there a female equivalent? I have never met one.

I often envied their mastery of the dance of seduction. They always knew exactly what a woman wanted to hear. When she wanted to be touched. When she was ready to leave. I confess that I have watched in disbelief while a woman I was attracted to walked off with a bad boy that from my perspective was shallow and empty. Ah, but such is life.

Still, the adventures, he called them "Sweats", I had with my brother when he was at his "Bad Boy'" peak are some of the best times of my life. He was great. It was great fun.

They do have a dirty little secret, but if I told you what it was I’d have to kill you.

Peace.


clevergirl4U 58F

4/15/2006 9:19 am

    Quoting swlaman1:
    Bad boys. I have known several. A couple became dear friends. One of the best I have ever seen in action is my brother. But you act as though they work their wiles only on women. Not so.

    It was great to be with these guys. They have a charisma that is palpable, visceral. Dangerous. To go anywhere with them was like a roller coaster ride, exciting and sometimes scary.

    What is the attraction? I don’t know. Is there a female equivalent? I have never met one.

    I often envied their mastery of the dance of seduction. They always knew exactly what a woman wanted to hear. When she wanted to be touched. When she was ready to leave. I confess that I have watched in disbelief while a woman I was attracted to walked off with a bad boy that from my perspective was shallow and empty. Ah, but such is life.

    Still, the adventures, he called them "Sweats", I had with my brother when he was at his "Bad Boy'" peak are some of the best times of my life. He was great. It was great fun.

    They do have a dirty little secret, but if I told you what it was I’d have to kill you.

    Peace.
Very interesting to have that perspective...Thanks! And yes, he is VERY good at the art of seduction. But I always assumed that he didn't have THAT many male friends because "he always got the girl"


clevergirl4U 58F

4/15/2006 10:00 am

    Quoting LustyTaurus:
    hahaha...I know what you mean...same holds true for the girls...I had one that I had to shut off every mode of comunication cause if I didn't respond...it wasn't every 20 minutes it was every ten....just to make sure everything was OK...LMAO

    lustytaurus
LOL...Sounds like she took her relationship cues from the movie "How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days"...


alwayswetter 52M

4/15/2006 11:26 am

I have daughters of my own now, so I've forgone the "bad boy" image to become the "bad dad", that the boys that chase my daughters meet. I make sure that I have pictures from my Army days in plain view.


swlaman1 65M

4/15/2006 1:17 pm

    Quoting clevergirl4U:
    Very interesting to have that perspective...Thanks! And yes, he is VERY good at the art of seduction. But I always assumed that he didn't have THAT many male friends because "he always got the girl"
The ones I became friends with had plenty of male friends. Most had even more enemies both male and female.

Still, it's difficult to explain how much FUN it was to be with my brother when he was at the top of his game. He is six years older than I, and at one time, I think I may have been guilty of a little hero worship.

Yes, they always get the girl, but they never keep her. This creates an opportunity not for the "nice guy" but for the more sensitive, if more reserved, "naughty boy". But that would be the subject of a different post.

Peace


clevergirl4U 58F

4/16/2006 7:38 am

    Quoting alwayswetter:
    I have daughters of my own now, so I've forgone the "bad boy" image to become the "bad dad", that the boys that chase my daughters meet. I make sure that I have pictures from my Army days in plain view.
very funny...daughters will DO that to a man


clevergirl4U 58F

4/16/2006 7:41 am

    Quoting swlaman1:
    The ones I became friends with had plenty of male friends. Most had even more enemies both male and female.

    Still, it's difficult to explain how much FUN it was to be with my brother when he was at the top of his game. He is six years older than I, and at one time, I think I may have been guilty of a little hero worship.

    Yes, they always get the girl, but they never keep her. This creates an opportunity not for the "nice guy" but for the more sensitive, if more reserved, "naughty boy". But that would be the subject of a different post.

    Peace
Hmmm...."The Naughty Boy"...great idea...thanks!


AtomicArtist0 45M
6015 posts
4/17/2006 12:30 am

nope...I don't think anyone has ever outgrown me. But once you get to know me, no matter how much you scrub, you still can't get that stain of me out of your soul. So...who wants to get to know me?


goodguysneedit2 56M

4/17/2006 8:03 am

MizzHuny has shown the depth of true experience....

There is "bad"...and then there's just plain assholes right?

There is definitely "too nice" also...I agree.

So..I like the term "good guy" better..I am nice, but not nice all the time, I am generous...but sometimes I purely don't give a shit, sometimes I want you to cry on my shoulder, sometimes I want to bitch-slap you and insist you get over it! (but I won't slap you..unless you ask for it in a specific region...wink)
I want you to be thinking of me, and I want to know it--I will be thinking of you,and I will let you know it. I'm not much into Hallmark Cards..lol I'd rather say "God you're it!"...or find a way to flirt or joke which will let you know you command my soul.

Until you fuck-up,or I fuck-up,naturally.
But even then, the turbulence can make for a helluva ride.


norprin5 55M

4/17/2006 9:58 am

i'm a nice guy with a bad boy just under the surface...

King Nor XVIII


clevergirl4U 58F

4/17/2006 11:45 am

    Quoting AtomicArtist0:
    nope...I don't think anyone has ever outgrown me. But once you get to know me, no matter how much you scrub, you still can't get that stain of me out of your soul. So...who wants to get to know me?
I have no doubt that what you say is true

I love that phrase... "the stain on my soul"...mind if I borrow it sometime?


clevergirl4U 58F

4/17/2006 11:47 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    I fell hard for a bad boy and married him for 7 years..took me ten more years to completely get myself away from him..he was "the one"..he could look at me and make me melt.He could breath on me and I would just about could die for him.I pray I never fall for another one.
Me and you both, Mzhuny


anubii 53M

3/15/2007 5:54 pm

this is a bad, bad blog....but there is great insight here. LMFAO and thanks!
Good luck with the house.
A


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