Relapse  

clameatingdog 66M
64 posts
11/14/2005 10:53 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Relapse

I haven't had a drink in over 2 years. Until today.

As I write this I am moderately buzzed and am not responsible if there are extra typos. I make no excuses for drinking, it was a choice, admittedly as poor one. But I never claimed sainthood. If I did, I wouldn't be here, would I? I simply have had an exceptionally shitty day. I had two very bad things happen. And one of those was my daughter. She was committed to Rusk State Hospital this week. I found out today.

Most won't know what that means, though my fellow east Texans do. Rusk is a mental hpspital. My daughter has vioent episodes with blackouts, and is a danger to herself and others. And there is nothing I can do to help. She is in the process of falling between the cracks in the system. If she doesn't get help, including being put under our state's Adult Protective Services system, someone could die.

There is more going on with me as well. This was just one thing too many in a short period of time. I love my daughter. She was the smartest of all my children. Something happened. She was just 18 in September. Too young. It doesn't seem right somehow.

Meanwhile, Texas continues to cut the Medicaide budget for mental health, as they have every year since 1997. These are not reductions in the increase, they are real dollar cuts. And our people die. Perhaps my daughter will as well. Without treatment it is a certainty. And she may take someone else with them.

So I drink tonight. And apo;ogize. And I wonder what I can do tomorrow to try to make it better.


Babel__Fish 45F

11/21/2005 2:32 am

Sending you a (((((HUG))))) from Belgium. I hope that she gets better and your honesty is respected by me.

xXx Babel


shewolfsue 54F

11/25/2005 11:20 am

I am very sorry for your daughter. Our government just keeps taking from the people who really need it, (like the people who govern really can't buy there own car like the rest of us). But, I don't need to talk to you about that. Just know that you and your daughter are in my prayers. I wish you luck.
Sue


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