Devastated and depressed.....  

ckwong38 49M
5 posts
8/2/2005 10:24 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Devastated and depressed.....

yesterday i received a phone call from my 2nd wife from indonesia, i'm very devastated and frustrated.

it's becos i'm being neglected at home that i started of with her since year 2000. at that time i regard her as my fuck buddy but gradually we fell in love with each other. in year 2003 she went home to indonesia thru govt amnesty programme and i promised to marry her. i flew to her hometown in year 2004 to get married with her thru the 'kampung' ceremony.

even though i married her, i've to prepare relevent documents to the govt so that i can bring her into Malaysia the proper way but i delayed and delayed till now. it's not that i dun want to do it but rather a bit reluctant becos i'll have to leave my present wife with 2 kids to be with her. all becos of different religion.

on and off, either she come to Malaysia or i go to Indonesia to meet up with her once a while. she recently came to Malaysia in June '05 and we had a little sore with each other. it's not that i dun love her but... strange, i felt that she has changed a bit and i lose my temper quite a lot. dun know why but i still love her deeply.

yesterday, she called and said she wanted to be just good friend with me and not hoping to be my wife anymore. all of a sudden, i felt like i've lost the world and i tried to find out what happened. she said of the my change of temper and if matters would get worse one day that i might beat her. i also told her that she also changed recently and she went silent. i told her that i'm slow in getting the documents done but i'm slowly doing it becos first, i have to learn to recite the prayers and i'm memorising it bit by bit. maybe age is catching up or i'm having too many late nights that my memory is not so efficient, i took longer time to memorise it.

well, i've used up all my credits and my idd cards yesterday, so i'll have to call her tonight again becos i get to talk to her thru her brother-in-law's handphone when he returns from work.

i've to tell her that i'll lose the whole world if i loose her. i'm really devastated and depressed. i really dun wanna lose her.


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