Why don't men get it?  

cindi1977 39F
132 posts
7/28/2006 1:23 pm

Last Read:
7/31/2006 5:16 pm

Why don't men get it?

I was chatting here last night and met a delightful older gent from Milano. I was interested in him, what he does, what's important and significant in his life, etc. He commented that it felt really weird talking about that stuff on a sex site.

I think that's significant in terms of the difference between males and females. Men seem to want to talk about sex as a precursor to doing it. I can't speak for all women, but for me, I want to know something about a guy, who he is, what he cares about, to find a connection. If we have something in common and I'm stimulated between my ears, then the physical stuff follows on naturally.

I haven't figured out why male gold members here find it obligatory to display a pic of their manhood. Like I'm going to say "Wow, what a fine specimen, I must have that deep inside me as soon as possible. I don't care who it's attached to or what he's like, I must have it now."

Dream on!

CB_2 51F

7/28/2006 2:27 pm

As I always say, someone whose profile contains a picture of their genitalia does not interest me at all, because it tells me they only value themselves as a sex object, and therefore will only value me in that light as well.

I think there are a lot of women, in particular, here, who are on this site because they believe in being direct and honest about what they want, and see no reason to pretend they want sex. But we all know that we also want more than that, and therefore we want to talk to the guy in question before we decide whether or not there is a connection. If they think that's weird, then they are not the right guy for you.

Incidentally, I have met two people on AdultFriendFinder whom I have connected with, and in both cases I sought them out. Guys who e-mail me optimistically might as well save their breath - they are going to get the automatic brush off. Anyone who wants to get to know me needs to come visit me on my blog. Once they've hung around a bit and commented a few times, that's when we start to build a potential relationship.

So, blog on, girl, and don't settle for less than you want!

Blogito ergo sum.

CB_2 51F

7/28/2006 2:29 pm

Meant to say "pretend they don't want sex"

Blogito ergo sum.

live_good 49M

7/28/2006 2:33 pm

Maybe he had no interest in knowing you deeply and just wanted to be stimulated sexualy that night. Nothing against you or your approach, just wasn't what he was interested in at that moment. Guys tend to have a one track mind on here sometimes till you get to know them better.

Best, Dana

ColB74 42M

7/29/2006 9:26 am

I think you will find that most of the men that are registered on this site do so because they are unable to hold an intellectual conversation in person with someone. A man of that calibre will only ever be able to link sex (or sexual contact) to their genitals. As a man I find the sheer quantity of brainless pests on this site incredibly disturbing. If for know other reason than it ends up getting us all tarnished with the same brush.

I have had the pleasure of conversing with quite a number of women on AdultFriendFinder and, on the whole, it has been enjoyable. Only once has there been any physical contact but, I have a small group of female friends who I enjoy nothing more than just having a chat with. If I do find someone interesting enough to contact, sex will not be mentioned until I feel that we are both interested in each other in that way.

I agree that men in general do not have the ability to think without using their cock but, there are some of us who can. Keep ploughing through all the junk mail and I'm sure every now and again someone nice will turn up.



cindi1977 39F

7/29/2006 2:06 pm

Hi Dana, childofthe70s, Col

I don't know what the Italian guy was thinking or looking for - he didn't say. I think I scared him off - I work in business so I was interested in the company he owns. I think he was worreid about his tax liabilities lol.

Col, your comments remind me of a Joan Rivers gag about God not giving men enough blood to sustain an erection and use their brain at the same time!

I started this blog because there were things I noticed that I wanted to check out - to help me calibrate sanity vs. weirdness, acceptable vs crass, etc. So we're all horny and like to indulge ourselves yet there are limits. Aren't there?

ColB74 42M

7/30/2006 5:23 am

Hi Cindi1977,

I feel privileged to have enough blood to do both, however, I'm not sure if I should donate some or worry that the reason for this is that I have a small brain AND a small cock

There ARE limits, but AdultFriendFinder have not taken the time to integrate these protocols into the system. So, we are left to endure. Is this really easier than conventional dating? I'm beginning to wonder.


4affair2 58M

7/31/2006 4:36 pm

I wish I could find someone interested in talking, really talking. Not mindless banter or supposed flirting. I've paged people before and even invited some to a private chat room, no takers. I enjoy good conversation. Too many game players. I know I'm not sexy or handsome, physically. I am honest, curious, open and sincere. Yes, this is a sex sight. But isn't it better when you take the time to get to know about the person? By the way, I am a gold and no genitalia pictures. I don't equate my manhood with the size of my genitals. Too old for that. I do find it admirable that you try to reply to all responders, even if just a quick reply. I hardly ever get even that.

cindi1977 39F

7/31/2006 5:16 pm

4affair2, thanks for your comments and welcome to the blog.

Don't do yourself down, it's not for you to determine whether you're sexy. Sex is 95% in the mind anyway, which is why doing the work to know and relate to someone is so important (In my view).

If you want a proper chat then look me up when I'm on here. Happy to talk about most things but I'm buggered if I can think of a solution for the Middle East crisis!

Still trying to respond, but I wonder if it's worth the effort. I had 18 mails today and I would be surprised if 5 had read my profile and I don't think any checked out this blog.

Does this mean most men are lazy or arrogant? No don't answer, rhetorical question. I know you're both!!!

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