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Dammit people!
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Apr 23, 2006 12:31 pm
1156 Views
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I am NOT a bitch. Really. I swear.
I get pissed off sometimes and rant, but quickly get over getting upset about almost anything.
I get a lot of emails that are, well, mean. Nasty. Calling me names and telling me what a horrible person I am. And then I think that I should write what I'm writing now on my blog. But, then I worry that whoever it is that JUST sent me a not-so-nice email will assume that it's ALL because of them that I'm writing this. When it's not.
So, to the person with whom I just had an email conversation clearing up a misunderstanding of what I thought was a mean email, but really it wasn't... that just *reminded* me that I wanted to write this. My ranting here doesn't apply to you. 
However, to the REST of you who have sent me icky emails...
and, yes, I realize that none of those people are likely to be reading this blog and I'm kind of yelling at exactly the people who wouldn't send those emails. But, hey, if one can't vent via blog, where can one vent? I can't exactly call up my mom and say "Mom, I've got to tell you about these jerks on Adult FriendFinder..." 
... anyway. I really do get sometimes 50 or more emails a day. And I'm not saying that as bragging or anything like that. I know that those emails have nothing to do with who I am, what I look like, or what I've said. The majority of them are sent to me JUST because I'm female. But I still really really want to answer all of them, even if it's with a simple "no, thanks." Though, I do just delete any that don't make much sense or are outright misogynistic or are from people who didn't read my profile. For example, I recently got an email complimenting me on my "short, sweet and to the point" profile. Short??? Anyway, I digress.
So, it takes me a LONG time to answer everyone. Really. Much longer than it seems like it should. And I'm working my way through my inbox in reverse chronological order. Just because that's easier. I know it's not logical otherwise, though.
So, guys, if you have written me a nice thought out letter and I don't answer you RIGHT AWAY. Just HOLD YOUR HORSES! (Uhm, actually, if you mention horses in the email, that might freak me out and I might have deleted it... )
Don't go and then send me an email every day or two a day and then eventually call me a complete bitch and fake for not having answered.
OTOH, I *don't* mind constructive criticism. Meaning, if I really do come across as a bitch and you can tell me why and how I might fix that, then I welcome it. I might not agree, but I can still appreciate hearing it. (Yes, I know I babble. You don't need to tell me that part.)
Just plain mean emails make me sad. And moody.
That's why I had to quit a telemarketing job I had once. I don't like it when people are mad at me. Especially people I don't even know.
That's all.
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Kissing and sucking and telling
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Apr 20, 2006 1:20 pm
2397 Views
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This is what I wrote after the first time I met up with someone from Adult FriendFinder. We met one more time after this and pretty much stopped communication then. Not because of anything bad. At least, I don't think so. Just because.
So, I admit to not having this person's "permission" to kiss and tell. I'm hoping that since no one will have any way of figuring out who it is that that won't matter.
I'm a verbal exhibitionist. Sometimes the telling is more exciting to me than the kissing...
The following is from an email I sent to an ex-boyfriend. Even though we're broken up (and he DID break my heart...) we exchange stories about our sex lives. It's really perfect. We know each others' sex habits, for lack of a better word, and we like both telling and hearing real life stories. We live in different cities, soon to be different countries, so it's not like we'll run into the people we talk about. Ok, now that I've tried to justify my kissing-and-telling, here goes...
*****
Where to start?
I like telling guys my fantasies. So, my profile said I was only interested in emailing, not actual meeting. I kind of gave a "preview" of the kind of emails I wanted to exchange. It described my, uhm, oral fixation.
I did start a kind of ongoing story telling email with one guy. The problem is that I get so many responses that it was kind of overwhelming and it would take me a while to get back to the email. Things lose momentum. Most guys were more interested in IM than email. I hate IM. No thanks.
Another thing is that guys really like sending pictures of their penis. Really. Let me tell you that, in general, that is not a turnon for women. Not necessarily a turnOFF, but not a turn ON. Pictures of chest, shoulders, legs, arms -- if the guy is in shape -- those are a turn on. So, I didn't *mind* the penis pictures (doesn't that have a nice ring to it?), but didn't care much. Then I got an email which had three photos attached. Two totally normal face pictures. The guy was kinda cute. Not drop dead gorgeous, but still very good looking. And a picture of the most gorgeous cock I can remember seeing. Seriously. I can't even tell you why it looked so good. It wasn't because of size, which I figure any guy hearing this story would immediately assume. The ONLY thing not perfect about it is that he's circumsized.
And it was an email that was written the way my profile asked it to be written. It wasn't filled with bad spelling. (I misspelled "intelligent" in my online profile the first time I posted it. How ironic is that? Doh!) So, I looked at his profile. Not a lot of detail but he was very clear that he was looking for and loved oral sex. Getting oral sex, I mean. So, I emailed him.
And we emailed a few times back and forth. He emailed me three more photos that were of another woman sucking him. Damn, that really did it to me, I think. I so MUCH wanted to BE the woman in the photos.
Friday night I sent him an email saying I wanted to meet on Saturday. Even though I hadn't originally intended to meet anyone for real at all. So, we set up a "date" to meet at a bar Saturday at about 6 p.m. For safety's sake and all, I was only going to meet him for the first time in a public place. Plus, if we were going to continue the "date" that night, I knew I was going to need a bit of alcoholic inspiration. I recognized him right away when he showed up. He looked exactly like the photos (well, I mean the non-porn ones!). And he was totally normal. Actually, I've been on a few dates with guys from "normal" online dating sites and each one of them has seemed to me to be a little weird. A little off. This guy, though, was absolutely normal. And totally nice about the fact that I was extremely nervous.
So, we went back to his place. I wanted one more drink, so he got me a beer. And we talked some. Mostly about sex stuff -- like how many people have you slept with, have you ever done this with someone online before, etc. Then he asked me if I was still nervous because he really wanted to kiss me. So I kissed him. And we started groping and making out on his couch. He kind of freaked out -- I don't know if it was Wow! Happy freaked out or freaked-out freaked out -- when he discovered that I wasn't wearing any panties under my dress. That's when he said we should go to his bedroom.
He only had a bright overhead light in his room. Or else total darkness. No in between option. So he turned on the tv in the room and muted it so that gave us some light but not glaring light.
Oh, I forgot. In the email where we were figuring out where and when we were going to meet, he suggested the bar and said there was no need for us to get dinner because he was going to feed me and didn't want my appetite spoiled. !!!! I swear I've fanatsized about a guys saying those exact words to me...
I gave him a long and thorough blow job and when he was ready to come he jerked off and aimed at my mouth. I missed some of his cum and licked it off of him. And I came when I was waiting for him to shoot into my mouth.
Then we kind of flopped down on the bed and I asked him how long he needed to recuperate. 
He told me that he could keep himself busy while we waited. He went down on me. He had his fingers inside of me while he used his mouth. He's only the second guy in my entire life who's made me come that way.
And then I sucked him off again.
And then I had to leave because he was meeting his friends at a bar at 9 p.m. I was home by 8:30.
And telling you this story is only a bit less exciting for me than the actual experience was. Because "kissing and telling" turns me on.
The end.
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Take advantage of a high-testosterone man
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Apr 19, 2006 11:35 am
1129 Views
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Lingerie makes hagglers happy-go-lucky
Story from from news at Nature online.
Summed up: Men who were exposed to a higher level of testosterone while in the womb lose their resolve in a gambling situation after being exposed to photos of attractive women, or even just handling a bra.
This article also talks about how you can tell how much testosterone an infant was exposed to in the womb by comparing the lengths of the index and ring fingers. Something that has fascinated me every since I first read about it.
I guess that for most women (?) the index finger is either equal or greater in length than the ring finger. Most men have a longer ring finger. My ring finger is noticeably longer than my index finger, so when I first read this, I thought it must be wrong. But, since then, I've noticed that that does seem to be right. Aside: Yes, when I'm straining to look at someone's hand, I'm not looking for a wedding ring. I'm comparing finger lengths! I haven't found out yet what that might mean about me. Except that I'm more likely to be a lesbian, I think. I've concluded that from various remarks in journal articles, though I don't think it's every been explicitly stated that I've seen. OTOH, I do wonder if that's why I have a higher sex drive than most women.
So, Men? Women? How do your index and ring finger lengths compare? How do you think your sex drive compares to others of your sex?
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Cribbing notes
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Apr 18, 2006 6:24 pm
1391 Views
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Ok, so is it cheating if I repost some of the posts I made on another blog?
First act of self-thievery:
From about 3 weeks ago.
What is it about us human beings that makes us want to write about our thoughts on sex and publish them for the world to see? No idea. I know I want to share my ideas, thoughts, stories about sex, but who the hell would want to listen?
There are a gazillion sex-related blogs out there. I don't care. I want one of my own.
I think about sex a lot. Really. A LOT. Well, for a girl anyway. Supposedly guys think about sex every seven seconds. Yes, I know that's an urban myth, but still. A lot of sexblogs seem to be written by girls, though.
Sex addiction
I go through periods of time where I am super super horny. I'm in experiencing one of those phases now, which is probably what has inspired me to actually start this blog. It's very distracting.
Whenever I hear about "sex addiction," I've thought "oh, come on!" I mean, really, does everything have to be an addiction nowadays? Just because someone really likes sex and/or spends a lot of time thinking about it or having it, that means they have an addiction? But in the past week or so, I've been wondering. What if there are people who are experiencing what I'm going through temporarily all the time? It's been a few years since I last had one of these episodes. I forgot how consuming it can be.
I have no idea what brings these super-charged-libido times on. I figure it must be something hormonal. About 2 months ago I quit smoking with the help of bupropion (aka Wellbutrin or Zyban). I've also been taking the antidepressant Effexor for the last 10 years. (Wow! It's been that long?) Most antidepressants have the side-effect of dampening one's sex drive. Actually, the first antidepressant I was prescribed -- can't remember which one -- had me not losing my sex drive but making me unable to reach orgasm. Not a good situation. Anyway. Effexor, I think, did dampen my sex drive some, but I didn't lose it all together and I could still come when I was turned on. Bupropion, on the other hand, is often prescribed for people who lose their sex drive with other antidepressants since it's not supposed to have that side effect.
When I did some research (I have access to a medical library) on bupropion, I found that with bupropion the "Libido effect" is "increased." So, is that's what's causing this sex mania? Did it just undo what Effexor had done? Or is it even more increased over my pre-antidepressant days?
I have to say that, for now, I'm enjoying it.
... and an hour later...
Maybe not. I'm seriously considering going into the bathroom to get off. Just to relieve the tension that's unrelenting. I've fantasized in the past about telling someone that I did this, even though I never really did. Weird that now I may really have to do what I fantasized about making up...
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Oh, what the hell.
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Apr 18, 2006 6:07 pm
1068 Views
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I actually already have an anonymous sex blog out there in the vast world of the internet. But, I figure there's a slightly better chance this one will be read.
And, if you look at my profile you'll see that I tend to be a bit verbose. Now I'll have a place to put all those extra words tumbling around in my head. shhhh! not now! Ahem. Excuse me.
I haven't posted on my other blog for a couple of weeks now. I'll have to go back and take a look to see if there's any of my own material I can plagiarize....
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