My plea to you...  

carebearluv2 41F
1267 posts
1/18/2006 8:30 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My plea to you...

Usually I like to focus on the positive things in my blog but tonight, I come with a plea and a heavy heart.

My Dad is currently lying in a hospital bed, the victim of his own self. He is 57 years old and has just had his 8th stroke in the last year and a half. While the other ones were minor, this one has affected some major parts of his body. He has lost his speech, the use of his left hand and the circulation in his left leg. He will have to go through months of rehabilitation and may never be able to work again.

My Dad is an alcoholic and a drug addict. Marijuana being his drug of choice. He has been ever since I can remember. I remember waiting for him to come home from the bar, eating frosting from a jar and watching late night cartoons. I remember him stumbling, yelling and hitting a wall with his fist to avoid punching my Mom. Mad at himself for his drinking. They divorced when I was 8, but those memories have never left me.

Most people wouldn't know about his habits. He goes to work every day, seems carefree and is always bragging about his grandkids and kids. He loves Disneyland and visits there monthly with his wife. For all intensive purposes, my Dad is considered "the cool one". I just wish he could see his own worth as others see it.

After the first stroke, the doctors warned him to quit and I begged him to get into AAA/NA. He insisted he could kick it on his own and after about three months of sobriety, he was right back where he started. The cycle has continued ever since. Do I think he will ever quit? Not until he admits to himself that he can't do it alone and gets help.

Which leads me to my plea...if you have a drug or alcohol problem, PLEASE I beg you, GET HELP! While you may not think you are hurting yourself, you are hurting those around you. We are seeing you disintegrate right in front of us and there isn't a damn thing we can do to help. It leaves one empty inside and angry. If you do it for no one else, do it for those that love you. The rewards are much better than any high you could ever feel.

God Bless you and your families!

TzarsAmuseChant 41M
2854 posts
1/18/2006 10:13 pm

Hey there, I'm not sure what to say... I've had friends who had drug problems... some of them died... I hope your father can pull through this and get cleaned up.

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
1/18/2006 11:16 pm

Al-Annon is a great program for those who have to live with this madness. It's for you, not the addict. They have groups in almost every town. Check em out...

Blog On!

carebearluv2 41F

1/19/2006 4:02 am

5, it's OK not to say anything. There isn't much you can say, but I appreciate your thoughts and good wishes.

norprin5 55M

1/19/2006 8:30 am

it's true that you can't help someone until they realize they need help. often the addiction is just a symptom of an underlying problem. while i love my beers and left-handed cigarettes, family and life responsibilities take priority.

King Nor XVIII

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
1/20/2006 2:18 am

I wish there were words of wisdom or comfort to give you, but like you said to 5, there really isn't much. So simply know that, from someone who has been in a similar warmest wishes are being sent out to you, your father and family.

dasher121 36M

1/20/2006 9:46 am

so very sorry to hear for your troubles Care, I wish you and your family the best. Keep your head up and never stop believing. You will get through this and I hope it works out well for you, I really do. And your words do carry much wisedom in them, people do effect those around them greatly, and it isnt until they gain that insight that they will truely see what is going on with them and others. Again, I really wish you the best....


MrNuttz05 49M

1/20/2006 6:32 pm

We ALL think that we have problems, even myself, then you read something like this. Kind of a slap to reality, you know.Wishing for his well-being is a easy thing for me to do, & I will. We also wish for your well being as well. My Dad suffered from many of storkes & kept coming back for more & more. Prayers are with you...

slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
1/20/2006 10:37 pm

I've never lived with this sort of pain...all though my dad was an alcoholic....but he eventually slowed way, way down in his drinking as he got older. But never totally quit. His drinking didn't affect our home life other than making him moody. He never lost a job or any other sort of problems. I have known people and have had friends who have gone thru a lot of the same things you are experiencing. My thoughts are with you, your family and your Dad. Take care sweetie.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

carebearluv2 41F

1/21/2006 9:35 am

Keith, I think I am going to check into it. I would like to see my stepmother takes that step also. While I live out of state from him,she is in the capacity of being an enabler for him. I really think the program would help her.

carebearluv2 41F

1/21/2006 9:42 am

Nor, very true words. Thanks for sharing them!

carebearluv2 41F

1/22/2006 5:50 pm

Thank you curious for your kind words, wishes and for visiting!

Dash, as usual, thank you for helping me keep my head up!

Slide-my grandpa was very similar to your father, except that he completely quit when he got older. He wouldn't give up the cigarettes though, which ultimately lead to the lung cancer that killed him. Thank you for the kind words and wishes.

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