Gossip is a virus here...  

carebearluv2 41F
1267 posts
3/24/2006 9:26 pm

Last Read:
3/31/2006 9:04 pm

Gossip is a virus here...

Tonight, I visited some new blogs in addition to my regular ones. While I found some good material, I also found several blogs containing drama and personal attacks on one another.

While I don't know any of these bloggers from more than just this evening, several of my friends that I do have on here have been hurt by these personal attacks in the past.

I've been in these blogs for about 6 months now. I do not blog every day but I do read certain ones daily. In those 6 months, I have seen 1 friend leave and 2 others have to spell out the nature of their relationship to get people to leave them alone.

I will not drudge up old issues, but when I see friends hurt enough to leave these blogs, it angers me. It rips through my soul and makes me seriously considering leaving this site.

When I stumbled across these blogs initially, I thought I was coming across a community in which people respected each other, shared their writings and communicated as adults. I quickly got hooked on [blog citizen_five]'s blog and he inspired me to write my own.

I am beginning to regret that decision. In fact, I am beginning to regret even entering this portion of the site.

I will not state I am leaving until everyone begs me to stay and I do. When I say I am leaving, I am leaving. When that day comes, I will clearly spell it out.

I have said in the past that I have NO intention of ever making the top list. In fact, I will do whatever is necessary to stay off of that list because I have seen what it does. I have seen the backstabbing, the jealousy and the cattiness as I sit back leisurely every night in these blogs.

So what if someone wants to be depressed in their blog? So what if they don't want to divulge private, personal information regarding their relationship with another blogger? So what if they don't comment or if they comment to only certain people? It's their blog, let them run it how they want to!

While this may seem a bit ill-timed, this is something I have wanted to say for several weeks now. Ever since my friends had to post their private business to the entire Blog community. Ever since they had to endure the pain of knowing they couldn't trust those they confided in here.

A wise person once said: "Those who gossip with you, will gossip about you." Truer words were never spoken.


imsosmoking 39F

3/24/2006 10:11 pm

I KNOW THIS MAT SOUND SILLY BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET NOTICED..AND I KNOW PEOPLE GOSSIP ABOUT ME AND I JUST IGNOR IT. PEOPLE WATCH ME AND WONDER THEN TALK ABOUT ME IN CHAT ROOMS THIS GIRL IS GIVING FREE CAM YES I AM..BUT I FIND MYSELF TO BE VERY DIFFERENT MAYBE MY MOM DROP ME ON MY HEAD AS A CHILD WHO KNOWS..I DO STUPID THINGS LIKE FU*KING MYSELF ON CAM...BUT I MUST ADDMIT I ENJOY WHEN PEOPLE WATCH I ENJOY WHEN THEY TALK GOOD OR BAD ABOUT ME ITS LIKE A RUSH TO ME..I WAS READING YOUR BLOG AND I DON'T REALLY READ BLOGS THAT MUCH BUT YOURS CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. YOU KNOW MY OPINION ON PEOPLE TALKING BAD ABOUT PEOPLE FU*K UM WHO NEEDS THEM CUZ THERES ALWAYS GUNNA BE SOME TRUE FRIENDS YOU DO MEET ON OR OFF THIS SITE WHO WILL RESPECT YOU AND LOVE YOU FOR YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT..


rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
3/24/2006 10:18 pm

I agree, you know, but coming from a small town where too many people know each other or of each other I think it is human nature for people to indulge in gossip whether you are a net community or a real life community. I'm not sure if the worst offenders even realise what the problem is. The smaller the community the worse it is, and I think it's predictable that it should be a problem from time to time in a small community like this especially with the instantaneous IM phenomenon.

This is just sort of a microcosm of real life.

So and so said so and so, did so and so, is playing so and so, pretending to be something he/she is not...and it gets passed to another friend/acquantance and so on and so forth...often in the name of "protecting" another friend...and that group think thing...it all gets blown way out of proportion and the truth may be nothing at all like the rumour that grew within the group.

That seems to always be inherent when you start socializing within most groups. I try to watch myself, even the most innocent and off hand comments can be misconstrued when they involve someone else. And the more people know about your personal business the more they speculate...

If there are still people and blogs here that you enjoy I hope you stay. If something offends you then speak up, sometimes the sooner the better. I know we all try to be sociable but sometimes it's better to nip some things in the bud even if you have to risk appearing unfriendly to do so.


sweetSinn2690
2943 posts
3/24/2006 10:18 pm

Amen to that...that's my motto, had to use it several times at work!
I have seen alot of BS here lately and I just sooooo want to stay out of it. sighhhhhh Sometimes it feels like this negative force is trying to pull you into it...lol
I have also been seeing a few very strange posts lately scattered among the blogs...like crackhead posts...I just don't how upsetting people can be a thrill...it turns my stomach sometimes...great post.thanks


Oh WHATEVER BITCHES!


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
3/24/2006 11:19 pm

i wrote such a post a while back. I, for one, am officially begging you to stay. I'm on my knees, now, seriously. I mean it. On my knees.

Begging.

Still on my knees.

Still Begging.

Okay, I gotta pee now. Getting up. But still begging.

tires


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
3/24/2006 11:40 pm

I wish that there was some way that the site could ban mean people like that from blogging. Or better yet, that people would respect each other and not gossip or backstab. This is supposed to be a group of adults, so why do some act like they belong back in middle school?
As much as I wish it could be changed, I know that it won't. And that goes for real life as well as here on the site. The fact is that there are just some people in the world who thrive on stirring up drama. The backstabbing hurts, but you have to just walk away from those people and avoid them.
The good thing that came out of all that was that I learned who I could trust and who I couldn't. Now I just keep my head down, blog what and when I want to and keep my eyes open in all my dealings here.


honestandreal30 41F

3/25/2006 7:05 pm

as you know, i am currently in much of the same situtation. i could try to encourage you to stay but i can not even do that for myself at this point. i hope no matter your decision or mine...that we will remain in some contact with each other.

honest
real


tillerbabe 55F

3/26/2006 1:18 am

Your last paragraph says it all.
I hate drama. If someone attacks me...I confront them. I've learned this is the best way. Any other way turns up the volume and those that have been attacked become no better than the attacker. To feed the drama just pushes it on the rest of us, I for one have way too much drama in my work and I don't come here to get more.

My advice to those that are attacked:
1. Ignore it, delete
2. Report the abuser
3. Deal with the abuser one on one, I for one don't want to hear about it.

If people follow these simple steps, the negative energy dies, anything else just increases it and makes me wonder about the intentions of those that are continuing the drama. Just my 2 cents.
Oh and Carebear? Don't go K?


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 7:38 pm

    Quoting imsosmoking:
    I KNOW THIS MAT SOUND SILLY BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET NOTICED..AND I KNOW PEOPLE GOSSIP ABOUT ME AND I JUST IGNOR IT. PEOPLE WATCH ME AND WONDER THEN TALK ABOUT ME IN CHAT ROOMS THIS GIRL IS GIVING FREE CAM YES I AM..BUT I FIND MYSELF TO BE VERY DIFFERENT MAYBE MY MOM DROP ME ON MY HEAD AS A CHILD WHO KNOWS..I DO STUPID THINGS LIKE FU*KING MYSELF ON CAM...BUT I MUST ADDMIT I ENJOY WHEN PEOPLE WATCH I ENJOY WHEN THEY TALK GOOD OR BAD ABOUT ME ITS LIKE A RUSH TO ME..I WAS READING YOUR BLOG AND I DON'T REALLY READ BLOGS THAT MUCH BUT YOURS CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. YOU KNOW MY OPINION ON PEOPLE TALKING BAD ABOUT PEOPLE FU*K UM WHO NEEDS THEM CUZ THERES ALWAYS GUNNA BE SOME TRUE FRIENDS YOU DO MEET ON OR OFF THIS SITE WHO WILL RESPECT YOU AND LOVE YOU FOR YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT..
SoSmoking...I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be noticed, as long as no one is getting hurt in the process. There have been a few incidents in this blog community where people have faked things to get attention. If you want to perform on camera, you have every right to do so and those that don't agree, just don't have to watch. Thank you for the encouragement and for stopping by. I hope to see you in the blogs more often.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 7:52 pm

    Quoting rm_corezon:
    I agree, you know, but coming from a small town where too many people know each other or of each other I think it is human nature for people to indulge in gossip whether you are a net community or a real life community. I'm not sure if the worst offenders even realise what the problem is. The smaller the community the worse it is, and I think it's predictable that it should be a problem from time to time in a small community like this especially with the instantaneous IM phenomenon.

    This is just sort of a microcosm of real life.

    So and so said so and so, did so and so, is playing so and so, pretending to be something he/she is not...and it gets passed to another friend/acquantance and so on and so forth...often in the name of "protecting" another friend...and that group think thing...it all gets blown way out of proportion and the truth may be nothing at all like the rumour that grew within the group.

    That seems to always be inherent when you start socializing within most groups. I try to watch myself, even the most innocent and off hand comments can be misconstrued when they involve someone else. And the more people know about your personal business the more they speculate...

    If there are still people and blogs here that you enjoy I hope you stay. If something offends you then speak up, sometimes the sooner the better. I know we all try to be sociable but sometimes it's better to nip some things in the bud even if you have to risk appearing unfriendly to do so.
Corezon...thank you so much for your thoughtful insight. I agree that IM is like a game of telephone, where as the "story" grows it becomes more convoluted until it is fabrication. I just wish the drama could go out of the blogs. I don't participate in it and avoid it whenever possible, but it has hurt several innocent people.
I will not be leaving anytime soon but I appreciate your support. Thank you for your comment and for stopping by.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:13 pm

    Quoting sweetSinn2690:
    Amen to that...that's my motto, had to use it several times at work!
    I have seen alot of BS here lately and I just sooooo want to stay out of it. sighhhhhh Sometimes it feels like this negative force is trying to pull you into it...lol
    I have also been seeing a few very strange posts lately scattered among the blogs...like crackhead posts...I just don't how upsetting people can be a thrill...it turns my stomach sometimes...great post.thanks
Thank you SweetSin for visiting and for your support. I strongly believe those that want to hurt other people are miserable people themselves.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:14 pm

    Quoting PassionsWine:
    I agree with you , in fact I wrote a post on the subject the other day.
    This site and blogs reach all over the world surly there should be enough room for all without all the strife happening.
Passions, I know there is enough room in my blog for those that want to blog peacefully. Thanks for stopping by.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:15 pm

    Quoting rm_titsandtires:
    i wrote such a post a while back. I, for one, am officially begging you to stay. I'm on my knees, now, seriously. I mean it. On my knees.

    Begging.

    Still on my knees.

    Still Begging.

    Okay, I gotta pee now. Getting up. But still begging.

    tires
No need to beg Tires, you simply just need to ask. Anything for you darling..besides, I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to you!


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:18 pm

    Quoting curious082385:
    I wish that there was some way that the site could ban mean people like that from blogging. Or better yet, that people would respect each other and not gossip or backstab. This is supposed to be a group of adults, so why do some act like they belong back in middle school?
    As much as I wish it could be changed, I know that it won't. And that goes for real life as well as here on the site. The fact is that there are just some people in the world who thrive on stirring up drama. The backstabbing hurts, but you have to just walk away from those people and avoid them.
    The good thing that came out of all that was that I learned who I could trust and who I couldn't. Now I just keep my head down, blog what and when I want to and keep my eyes open in all my dealings here.
Curious..my blog twin..we need some kind of button, dont we? I guess we can't band them from blogging but we can ban them from our comments. I will do so should I ever need to.

As far as learning who you can trust here, I don't know if I will ever figure that out. I talk to very few people from this site off of it and do not use chatrooms for this reason. But I know who my friends are, such as yourself and I will always defend and support them.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:20 pm

    Quoting honestandreal30:
    as you know, i am currently in much of the same situtation. i could try to encourage you to stay but i can not even do that for myself at this point. i hope no matter your decision or mine...that we will remain in some contact with each other.

    honest
    real
Honest, I have no plans to leave at this point but I know I have told you how I am feeling. If I ever leave, I will make sure you can find me. Keep blogging from your heart and it will all fall in place.


carebearluv2 41F

3/26/2006 8:22 pm

    Quoting tillerbabe:
    Your last paragraph says it all.
    I hate drama. If someone attacks me...I confront them. I've learned this is the best way. Any other way turns up the volume and those that have been attacked become no better than the attacker. To feed the drama just pushes it on the rest of us, I for one have way too much drama in my work and I don't come here to get more.

    My advice to those that are attacked:
    1. Ignore it, delete
    2. Report the abuser
    3. Deal with the abuser one on one, I for one don't want to hear about it.

    If people follow these simple steps, the negative energy dies, anything else just increases it and makes me wonder about the intentions of those that are continuing the drama. Just my 2 cents.

    Oh and Carebear? Don't go K?
Amen Tiller! My work is a breeding ground for immaturity and drama. I certainly don't need it in my personal life.

I'm not leaving (yet). I will be sure to leave contact information for you in the event I do so. I have no intention of letting my friends down. After all, I begged you to stay because YOU ROCK and I knew I would miss you!


carebearluv2 41F

3/31/2006 9:04 pm

Thanks Jez...love ya sweetie for being drama free!


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