| Distraction |
Jul 30, 2008 6:41 am
Mood: Golf, anyone? LOL, 516 Views | That is what I have been accused of. I am a distraction. If not my boobs, then my mouth. I have a tendency to distract. Personally I do not see any issue with this.....Can I help it if men tend to follow me with their eyes as I pass? I have no control over that. I can not control the sex appeal it has taken me 40 years to accept. Can I help that I have a better understanding of my body and enjoy flaunting it? I wish I could get more women to understand. Our bodies are not something we should hide or be afraid of. Like the old song says, "Accentuate the positives...."
As for my being a distraction, like thats a bad thing? | |
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11 Comments | |
| Ladies Shower Room |
Jul 29, 2008 7:03 am
Mood: Enter at own risk?, 572 Views |  | Last weekend, my children and I were out at the lake. Some friends had a camp site set up. Now I am not a big camping type person. The older I get, the higher I get in maintenance. We were just out there for the day so my son could fish. The camp site had amenities. I was impressed. They even had a shower room. What has me perplexed, is the sign on the door to the ladies shower room....
(See pic) |
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16 Comments | |
| I have seen the enemy. Its name is Webber! |
Jul 28, 2008 7:03 am
Mood: Kingsford, Not Queensford!, 505 Views |  |
I learned a valuable lesson last night. I would make a horrible Boyscout! I would not make it in the wild. Not even the wilds of my back yard! Let me explain.
I wanted to grill yesterday. despite the 100 degrees and high humidity. I had three thick Ribeye steaks and corn on the cob I planned on grilling. Now I am a Bar-B-Que purist! It has to be a charcoal grill. No gas for this steak lover. The flavor of a charcoal smoke with hickory chips added.....MMMM!!!!
So at 5 PM, I go out to the grill. I pile about 20 briquet's in the center. I add fluid and ignite. It burns for a few minutes then nothing. I do it again. Same thing. Third try the briquet's edges start to turn gray. I close the lid and open the flue. I watch the temp gage go up.....then go down. UHG! I open the lid and try again. and again. and yet again. I did get the temp up to 150. Not enough to grill steaks. I add more charcoal and more fluid. I get a lovely burst of fire. I close the lid. The temp goes up. I add the steaks and the corn. After 20 minutes, I take the steaks inside and use the broiler. The corn, well it was a bit crunchy.
I will never get my grilling merit badge. Thats why men do the grilling apparently. I learned I can't grill and I am not good at everything. Very humbling. |
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15 Comments | |
| Warning Label? |
Jul 25, 2008 2:52 pm
Mood: All Natural?, 568 Views |  | I just got home from work and sat at the computer. Checking out Blogville to unwind. I have a tall iced tea to quench my thirst. It's at 100 today. My snack of choice today, Frito's corn chips and Bean dip. As I cruise through Blogville, I notice the label on my bean dip. All normal except the red box off to the left side. It says, "Now All Natural"! It's bean dip. What in the hell could be in it that isn't natural. What have I been indulging in all these years? So what do I do....read the damn label. Let me tell you folks, if you really like a certain food, do not read the label. It will turn your favorite snack into a NASA project!
Even worse, I had to put on my reading glasses to see the fine print! (I am old)
Hey look a 1-800 number....
I dial...
"Thank you for calling Frito Lays. How may I help you?" A slightly upbeat female answers
"Hello. I was enjoying my after work snack of Frito Lay's corn chips and bean dip. I noticed a new label on your bean dip. It reads, "Now All Natural" I was just wondering what it was before?" I ask politely
"Um, I, it was bean dip." She stammers.
"Well then why does the new label state its "Now All Natural"?" I ask in my best impression of Frankpiccaso (he used to product test for Adult FriendFinder)
"Let me transfer you to a supervisor." (muzak)
"This is Dave. How may I help you?" In his most disarming voice.
"Well Dave, as I told the first young lady, I was enjoying my after work snack of Frito Lay's corn chips and bean dip. I noticed a new label on your bean dip. It reads, "Now All Natural" I was just wondering what it was before?" Said in my most inquisitive voice.
"It was bean dip." Dave states flatly.
"Well then why does the new label state its "Now all Natural"?" I ask again. "What was in it before that was not natural? I have to be honest Dave, I had always just assumed that it was just bean dip. Today, I actually read the label. I had to get my reading glasses out to do it. Dave, what was in Frito Lays Bean dip before that was not natural?"
"Um, ah, hold please." (muzak)
(more muzak)
(yet even more muzak)
"Hello. This is Marty Hanson. I am Senior manager of this center. How may I help you?" Curt by polite voice.
"As I told the first young lady and then Dave,
I was enjoying my after work snack of Frito Lay's corn chips and bean dip. I noticed a new label on your bean dip. It reads, "Now All Natural" I was just wondering what it was before?" I asked again with a smile in my voice.
"It was bean dip." Marty answered.
"Yes, Marty, I understand that. What I am trying to find out is what was in it before the label was changed to say, "Now All Natural"?" I ask once more.
At this point, Marty launched into a long diatribe about the upstanding quality of all Frito Lay's products. Marty assured me I was eating the finest canned bean dip ever made. Then Marty asked if there was anything else?
"Yes. I am still trying to find out what was in Frito Lay's bean dip before the new label." I asked in a short tone.
"Have you tried our web site? The ingredient list might be on there." Marty offered.
"Thank you Marty. I am looking at the web site as we speak and I have yet to find the ingredient list." I answer. "Is there anyone in your company who knows what was in the bean dip before the label read, "Now All Natural"?"
"Let me take your name and number. I will have someone get back with you."
I still have not heard back from them..... |
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11 Comments | |
| Three Days and a Fish |
Jul 25, 2008 7:20 am
Mood: Airing Out The House, 538 Views | This summer has been one visitor after another in our home. One even visited, left then came back weeks later. They stayed an additional three weeks. With two extra people. Overall it was ok. Common courtesies were amiss though.
The guest kept saying, "The 3 day fish rule does not apply to me."
After much though, yes it does. Actually, I am ready to tell any out of town guest where our local hotel is. Maybe I am getting old and crotchety. Maybe I am just too set in my ways. I am definitely tired of having my children's lives disrupted.
So from now on, the three day fish rule applies to all!
‘Fish and guests stink in three days’
~ Poor Richard’s Almanac | |
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10 Comments | |
| Its an Election Year |
Jul 24, 2008 5:25 am
Mood: New Boood, New Brains?, 545 Views |  | Do you realize, this is the first year since 1980 that a Bush or Clinton isn't on the ticket?
I'm just saying.... |
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9 Comments | |
| Do I need Geico or Blue Cross? |
Jul 23, 2008 11:40 am
Mood: Why did I buy insurance?, 531 Views |  | Small Town Kansas- P.I.C opens her mail. Its an E.O.B (explanation of benefits) from her health insurance. Her daughter broke her wrist while riding her scooter. As she is skimming the E.O.B, she notices her portion of the bill is the amount of the entire bill. $680.00. There is a notation below. It reads: Not a covered benefit. See Certificate Exclusions section regarding accidental injuries related to motor vehicles to be covered by an automobile insurance policy.
What?! P.I.C calls the health insurance company to ask why they are telling her to bill her auto insurance.
"It was a scooter accident." The rep informed her, "the scooter would be covered by auto insurance. That the daughter was driving a scooter at the time she broke her wrist and auto insurance is responsible."
P.I.C laughed, asking the lady if she knew how old the daughter was? She is 8 and it was a scooter! The rep continued to argue, as did P.I.C.
The rep did not understand the scooter in question is a Razor, 2 wheels and a handle bar. Powered by children everywhere.
Finally P.I.C yells,"Its a skateboard with a handle bar!" Silence on the other end of the phone.....
Before you run out and buy your child one of these very popular toys, check with your auto insurance to make sure its covered. |
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8 Comments | |
| STOP! The pounding in my head |
Jul 22, 2008 7:40 am
Mood: SSSSHHHHH!, 522 Views |  | It started with a glass of wine while I made orange glazed chops with saffron rice and zucchini. Another glass with dinner. Then friends showed up. We sat outside and drank a beer. Then another. Next thing you know, its 11PM and a twelve pack is gone.
Oh my head! I went to bed at 11:30. I woke at 2 with a pounding head. I have been medicating ever since. I think I need a bit of the hair of the dog!
UPDATE:
After my rather silly indulgence of last night, I suffered the aftereffects. By noon they were gone and my day productive. I really need to be more aware of the heat and how good a cold beer feels. Moderation! LOL |
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5 Comments | |
| Is That What You See? |
Jul 21, 2008 6:41 am
Mood: Speculative, 550 Views | Looking in the mirror, assessing what I see. Is this what you see? Be honest. This is not easy for me. To look at me with your eyes. When I look with my own eyes, I see my Mother's nose, my Grandmother's eyes, My Dad's mouth. I see my Great-Grand Mothers hair. I see imperfections. I see scars. I see parts. Do you just see the whole?
When I look with your eyes, I see hair that when captured in the sun is set ablaze with a thousand colors. I see eyes, you say are yellow when passion is ignited. I see lips so full they pout. Do I always look like this or is it just what you see? | |
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12 Comments | |
| A Stiff Upper Lip.... |
Jul 20, 2008 12:47 pm
Mood: Limping Along, Seriously, 519 Views |  | At least thats hard!
A friend of mine in his late 40's approached me recently about his, um, hard issues. He had a few opportunities with a lovely woman but came up soft in the delivery. He asked if I had any suggestions. I asked about health issues. He has high blood pressure. I suggested speaking with his doctor about trying one of little helpers on the market.
At least for us women, we can fake our way through it. |
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9 Comments | |
| Bend Over |
Jul 18, 2008 7:26 am
Mood: Your Wish...., 610 Views | My favorite command! Bend over the chair, the table, the arm of the sofa, the edge of the bed, the car, The counter, the desk, the sink, the stairs, the fire hydrant, the swing, the tub, the bench, the end table, the fence, the branch of the tree, the edge of the pool........
Did I miss anyplace? | |
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22 Comments | |
| In Your, Wait...My Face |
Jul 17, 2008 4:01 pm
Mood: Jabber Jaw, 567 Views |  | Today I went to the doctors as a follow up on my jaw. We decided to try a cortisone injection into my jaw hinge. Oh goody! Have I mentioned I hate needles. Really hate needles! I thought I did fairly well overall. I mean its not every day someone sticks a needle into your face. I only started to hyperventilate a little.
So far the jaw is feeling good. its a bit touchy but not unbearable. Keep your fingers crossed.
I did discuss the merits of blow jobs. I asked if he thought they would hurt or help my jaw. His answer...Could be an interesting study.
Anyone want to volunteer for the study? |
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18 Comments | |
| WHY? |
Jul 16, 2008 5:00 pm
Mood: Answers, 495 Views |  | "Why?" I keep hearing you ask that in my head.
"Why?" Like a child pursuance of the answer.
"Why?" Is it really me wondering?
"Why?" Is it distance or doubt?
"Why?" That low soft voice always questioning.
"Why?" |
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4 Comments | |
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