 SSSHHHH! Come on I won't tell.... |
Jan 9, 2008 8:14 am
Mood: Come on in....I won't bite, 8106 Views |  | I have been asked to put up one of those secret rooms! You know...you can leave anything you want in there, only I can see it. So feel free to leave anything you want, I won't tell! |
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0 Comments, 51 Pending | |
| Checking Under the Hood |
Aug 8, 2008 5:59 am
Mood: Happy she's Happy?, 56 Views | I had my annual Girly Check Up a few weeks ago. It was as usual. No surprises. Yesterday I got a letter from my Doctor that read;
Dear, Canyaz,
I am happy to inform you, your pap test came back normal.
Thank you,
Dr. Miranda
Ladies, have you received this kind of notice? Usually I get the pathology report telling me there are normal cells.
I just found it odd. Good but odd. | |
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6 Comments | |
| For Real? |
Aug 7, 2008 6:48 am
Mood: Our Tax Dollars Working, 86 Views |  | Killer gets life sentence plus pizza in plea deal
PORTLAND, Ore. - A New York man who pleaded guilty to murder in Oregon in exchange for buckets of fried chicken will get calzones and pizza to go with his life sentence.
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Tremayne Durham, 33, of New York City, admitted last month that he fatally shot Adam Calbreath, 39, of Gresham, in June 2006. Durham wanted to sell ice cream and ordered an $18,000 truck from an Oregon company. He later changed his mind, but the company wouldn't provide a refund.
The would-be ice cream man came to Oregon and killed Calbreath, a former employee of the company, while looking for its owner, authorities said.
Durham agreed to plead guilty to murder but only if he could get a break from jail food. The judge agreed and granted Durham a feast of KFC chicken, Popeye's chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream.
After Wednesday's sentencing, Durham was to get the rest of the deal calzones, lasagna, pizza and ice cream, his defense attorney confirmed. They will pay the tab.
Durham also got married Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the Portland courthouse. The wedding to Vanessa Davis, 48, also of New York City, was not part of the plea deal that will give Durham a chance for parole after 30 years.
Deputy District Attorney Josh Lamborn said Multnomah County Judge Eric Bergstrom made the right call in allowing the unusual plea agreement because it saved the expense of a trial and possible appeals. |
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6 Comments | |
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| New Product Brainstorming Session |
Aug 6, 2008 11:25 am
Mood: Cums On Us, 157 Views |  |
Another stunningly hilarious Instant Message conversation with a friend. We think we have a new, well maybe not new, but new concept product. I tried to bring  in on it but he felt he had nothing to add. Silly frog! Enjoy. See if you can improve on the Product advertising.....
j: how long you been holding that one back
> canyaz: just came to me
> j: lot of stuff just cums to you
> canyaz: not lately
> canyaz: I am on exile
> j: well we may need to work on that
> j: from
> canyaz: cum
> j: well i could allow some to collect
> j: and deliver it
> j: lol
> canyaz: LOL
> canyaz: oh that is funny
> canyaz: I need to write a blog about that
> j: oh great
> j: well it basically is 2 collection devices and '1' delivery system
> canyaz: how's this sound
Cums On Us...We collect, we deliver
> j: lmao
> canyaz: what kind of rates should be charged?
> j: well I'd rather deliver than have on me
> j: lol
> j: rates subject to quantity
> j: large volume discounts
> canyaz: so it should read,
Cums On Us...We collect, we deliver, we pay you
> canyaz: discount plan for frequent use?
> j: well I'm kinda concerned about you delivering it
> j: there you go
> canyaz: why would you be concerned about me delivering it?
> j: well if its on you.
> j: and your collecting it.
> j: your delivering used merchandise
> canyaz: I thought I was quality control?
> j: ahh
> j: well then you would have to taste and check for
> j: texture
> canyaz: some one has to make sure its a good product...don't want to be sued
> j: true |
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6 Comments | |
| No, NON, Nada,Nich, Nine...I think |
Aug 5, 2008 4:34 pm
Mood: SEX!!!!!!!!!!, 209 Views |  | So I noticed today I have not blogged about sex IN A VERY LONG TIME! You know why? BECAUSE I AM NOT HAVING ANY!!!!
Is it me or is this a Blogville tragedy? I am telling you people, I need to have an orgasm with something besides bad porn and AA batteries! I mean look at me! What is wrong with this picture? I will tell you what is wrong...Later in another post.....hehehehe!
Damn, I am gonna get in so much trouble for this.... |
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11 Comments | |
| The Story of The Zen Buddha Frog |
Aug 5, 2008 7:51 am
Mood: Feeling Froggy, 207 Views |  | I never considered myself a collector of anything. I always found it a bit silly. Unfortunately in 2004 I had a "real" Birthday. My son was old enough to understand the concept of Feb. 29th. And the quirks that come with having that birthday. On all the Leap Year pages, the mascot is the frog. To a six year old boy, this is like being handed the best gift ever! It now made it perfectly ok to bring home frogs. He knew he could emotionally blackmail me with my being a "Leaper". LOL Subsequently, I have a collection of frogs.
My P.I.C and I were out shopping one afternoon for her bedroom, when we can across these cool frogs. They were Big statues of frogs in a meditation position. We had great fun with them but were not about to spend the money they were asking for them.
We have made the Zen Buddha frogs part of our language and lives. When life gets crazy, P.I.C and I go Zen Buddha Frog.
Life has been a bit weird lately and my P.I.C brought this to me the other day! She made it. I love my P.I.C! |
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3 Comments | |
| It could have been... |
Aug 4, 2008 3:31 pm
Mood: What if....., 276 Views |  | I once saw an episode of "Star Trek", I missed the first few minutes so I don't know how he got there but Captain Picard was in a parallel world. He lived out an entire life. He was married, had children, lived in a community. At the end of the episode he was back on the Enterprise-D. I thought it was the saddest thing I had ever seen. Even if the whole thing was imagined, he had memories that were real to him. He had a piece of him missing. A hole he carried with him.
I don't know what made me think about this. Maybe its the idea that we get one life. Many of us spend time wondering, "What if.." The choices we make, the places we go, the way we think. It all leads us to the end of our life but we can't help but wonder, "What if...?"
For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.
-John Greenleaf Whittier |
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12 Comments | |
| The Eye |
Aug 4, 2008 7:34 am
Mood: Lovely Watching, 267 Views |  | I have had two lover's tell me what they see in my eyes. One recent and one in the past. The statements left quite an impression. I wear glasses, so I don't think about my eyes. Apparently, when the glasses are off and passion is involved, they make themselves known.
Here are the two Statements:
So with respect to your eyes....what I was seeing was dark pools, with a hint of green and purple...and some flecks of gold, although that might have been wishful thinking. But frankly, it was hard seeing past the fire in them, when you smile with your eyes it it really striking.
Your eyes are yellow when we make love. They catch the light and turn gold.
I have saved the comments made. To savor when I feel a need to smile. You know, all the way up to my eyes! |
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7 Comments | |
| Come to the Crazy Side...We Have Cookies |
Aug 3, 2008 10:27 am
Mood: Calling Betty Crocker!, 318 Views |  | When life gets crazy, I bake. I cook. I create and while doing so, I work out the problem or emotion. Baking is an exact science with many fun possibilities. I hate to follow a recipe. I use them more as a lose guideline. So if I feel the dough needs a pinch of this or a dash of that, well, lets just say I have had many happy accidents. A few failures too. My best happy accident, I named, "Stuff-n-the-muffin" I had some day old muffins. Four different flavors. Banana nut, Lemon Poppy seed, Blueberry and Chocolate chip. I broke them up in a bowl and added milk, eggs and a bit of sugar. Dumped into a baking pan and Voila! Muffin bread pudding! Each bite gives you a different flavor. The blueberry mixes with the chocolate and the lemon mixes with the banana and the snozberries mix...oh wait, wrong movie! LOL. Seriously. try it if you like bread pudding, you will love this.
Yesterday, I made house faves. Peanut butter cookies and Oatmeal Chocolate chip cookies. The family loved them. They even helped. Now did I get my mind in working order...I will be baking orange garlic bread later...what do you think? |
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11 Comments | |
| Ben and Jerry's On a Saturday Night |
Aug 2, 2008 7:17 am
Mood: Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cr, 337 Views |  | This morning I was woke by my sons clock radio. I had stayed up until 3AM reading "The Fountainhead" By Ayn Rand. I then took sleeping pills to ensure I could sleep past 8AM. Alas, no. My son bought a clock radio with his own money and though he has no reason to be up this hot Saturday morning, his alarm went off. He has it set so the radio wakes him. The song playing was, "Don't Take The Girl" by Tim McGraw. I tried to not allow my mind to engage by I failed. I started reminiscing about the "good" old days.
One of my dearest sister-friends and I were single parents back in the early 90's when that song came out. We were in a band together. On nights we didn't have a gig, I would bring my daughter over to "Aunt Robs". The kids (they call each other cousins) would play games and watch movies in the living room, while Rob and I would sit at the kitchen table playing Uno, smoking cigarettes and eating Ben and Jerry's. The radio would play softly in the background. Depending on the song, one or both of us would sing along. But that song! Oh that song would come on, we would set our cards down, crank the radio up and belt out right along with Mr.McGraw. By the end of the song, we would both have tears in our eyes. It is the type of song that evokes emotions anyway. I always thought the reason we would both cry when we heard that song was because we were both convinced no man would ever feel that strongly for us. In fact, back then after we both had gone through a couple of very rough divorces, we were convinced no man was capable of feeling that strongly about us.
LOL Here we are 15 years later. Life has certainly had its twists and turns for both she and I. What we finally learned, no man could feel that strongly for us until we felt that strong. Our paths have lead us to different places but we talk often. "Aunt Rob" I think, may have finally found a man who is worthy of those strong feelings. Me, well, I am strong, no doubt about it. The strong feelings have been evoked and are playing themselves out as we speak.
BTW, my son just rolled over with the pillow over his head and went back to sleep on this hot Saturday morning. |
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6 Comments | |
| The Novelty of Me |
Aug 1, 2008 11:10 am
Mood: Kicking sand in the wind, 419 Views |  | I have always said, "The healthier you are in mind and spirit, the more you attract unhealthy people." Unhealthy people see what you have and hope it rubs off by osmosis or something. Over the years I have tried to generally improve and be a healthy person. Mind, body and spirit. So, as it stands to reason, unhealthy people flock to me. I have managed to either help them by pointing them in the right directions or running like hell the other way! LOL
Here is my query today. Actually last night. I was having a conversation with someone who is attracted to me because I am open. This person lives in another state but is trying desperately to persuade me to meet him. I am only talking with this person because they offered insight to a personal issue I can't wrap my head around just yet. During our few chats, I have been as I always am, open. I am honest to a fault. I don't judge. And if I am not sleeping with you, well, its not my problem. Because of my attitude and my blatant sexuality, this person is totally turned on.
My problem, I am not interested. At All! I tried to gently explain, I value his help. I enjoy the conversations. (Which I only allowed to start because I felt the distance was safe) He is smitten. This happens to me a lot.
Men and even some women find themselves attracted to me. In the past I have given into a few sexual explorations, only to find I was just a novelty needed to be tried. Like Baskin Robbins flavor of the month. Once they tasted a few times, they are bored and move on. Why because they are not happy with themselves, therefore they are ADHD with the people in their lives. Keep the people moving through their lives so no one stops long enough to take a really good look and see the truth. In general, I do not give in to their persuasions. I am not tempted now, either. I am pissed. I am sick and tired of being an object of curiosity for unhealthy people.
Oh, just went "Bitch Blog" Sorry I a turned into a Psychologist on you. I have just been examining this phenomenon lately and wondering why these people think I am obligated to play in their fucked up sand box?! |
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13 Comments | |
| Always Be Prepared |
Jul 31, 2008 7:40 am
Mood: Do I get a Merit Badge?, 466 Views |  | So I might not know how to build a fire....but at least I am always prepared. Let me explain.
Last night I had dinner with a friend. We went to Outback. It was very noisy. Which is ok if your concerned about others hearing your conversations. It just all blended together like a low rumble.
We could hear ourselves fine. We had a pesky waiter. Struggling musician. With a slight Aussie accent. Not sure if it was is was a good imitation or the real deal.
Oh yeah, the point...there was a couple in the next booth. It was obviously a date and maybe a first date at that. We could hear bits of their conversation when there was a lull in ours. At one point they were discussing the possibility of sex. The guy stammered a bit, stating he did not have any "protection". The young lady suggested a stop at the near by drug store. I almost spoke up and said, "I have one." I did say it to my dinner companion, who jokingly suggested not wasting it on those two....LOL
At least like a good Boyscout, I am always prepared. |
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11 Comments | |
| To link to this blog (canyaz) use [blog canyaz] in your messages. |
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