I find myself in a unique position....  

canuhandle1968 48F
2015 posts
7/6/2006 8:07 am

Last Read:
8/5/2006 10:19 am

I find myself in a unique position....


I have a friend who is going through a bad situation personally who has asked to stay with me for a few days. I've recently been told by another good friend that I'm a "rescuer". I never thought that was a bad thing, but it has got me to thinking.... She is a good friend, but I've discovered that while my kids are with their Dad, I value my alone time. I purposely take a week of my vacation while the kids are gone so I can do my own thing. She came to stay on the first day of my vacation, hence, I've had no alone time... I've always been taught to believe that you should help those in need because there will be a time in my life when I need help as well. However, when I'm home, alone, I absolutely love MY time!! Barefooted, no bra, jammies all day if I feel like it... And now I'm finding my mood is shot to hell because I agreed to let her stay a "few days". Is being a rescuer the same thing as being a "door mat?"

moonlightphoenix 45F
6508 posts
7/6/2006 9:15 am

No, but only if you make it clear that it's a very time limited offer. I understand your situation very well. I always jump in, offer to help and then end up being cranky as hell because I end up being taken advantage of in ways I didn't expect. There's a LOT to be said for having time alone to recharge your batteries...especially when being a mom. Tell her firmly that she's welcome for X amount of days, but that you really need to deal with some things after that. And stick to it. Might not be easy, but you'll be happier with yourself in the end.


canuhandle1968 replies on 7/6/2006 11:31 am:
Thank you... Sometimes you just need to hear that there are other's ou there who know what I'm talking about....

rm_eyecandy4me 50F

7/6/2006 11:05 am

Alone time..VERY important...I too value mine when my kids are with thier father...

life is about Limits..setting them for yourself and the people you love....
Knowing when yours have been over stepped...

You can't give to others if your batteries are too low...

A good friend once told me this...
If your on an airplane with children when they go over the evacuation procedures and such..
They tell you when the oxygen mask pops down to put it on yourself first....Then assist your children or others...
Point>>>>You can't help anyone if you've passed out!!! Enjoy your day..
Thanks for the supportive words on my blog....


canuhandle1968 replies on 7/6/2006 11:29 am:
Good point..!! I've always said you can't take care of others until you take care of self, but somehow that always goes out the window!! I'm a "rescuer"...... hmmmmmm Wonder if the folks I've rescued will be willing to rescue me back someday??

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