Please tell me - what the hell is in a woman's mind?  

bullseyetou 63M
119 posts
12/10/2005 3:59 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Please tell me - what the hell is in a woman's mind?

OK - Anyone out there want to comment on this post? I would appreciate it.

I met a woman in chat. Good conversation so we decide to go to an outside AdultFriendFinder im. She gives me her # and I call. In fact we have 2 or 3 conversations and decide to meet. A time and place is agreed upon and I show (ten minutes early).

By the way I should tell you the place she wanted to meet was a store that usually only women find exciting. But when a man is first meeting a woman, he will climb any mountain and swim any sea. In reality - we all know how long that sentiment lasts.

Anyhow - I spend a half hour wandering around in the store looking at candles and smelling potpourri and wondering why the fuck did I agree to meet HERE, why not the tool section at Home Depot?

So, knowing there is xmas traffic to slow her, I go out and sit in my car (strategically parked to watch the front door for when she shows up).

She is now a half hour late.

I go back in the store, take a look around to see if she got by me - nope.

The manager asks if she can help me. I realize I now have aroused her curiosity as why the fuck would a man come in her store except to commit some dastardly deed. I smile at the manager and explain that I am supposed to meet someone but she must have got stuck in the xmas traffic.

I leave - scratch my head and decide to run one more xmas errand at the other end of the shopping center.

On my way back by I decide to give the potpourii/candle/stuff store one more peek to see if she came in. Nope. The manager knows me now and smiles. In fact I think she chuckles and elbows a saleswoman. They giggle as I leave. I'm sure of it.

So I head home. There is a message on my answering machine. Hi - this is (fill in the blank), I'm sitting outside of the candle/potpourii/stuff store in my green car with out of state license plates. You can find me there.

I laugh. Ok, when I talk to her we'll have a laugh over this one.

I give her a call. Leave a message. I do. I explain about the mix up leaving out the wonderful details of the candle/potpourii/stuff store. Wrap up by saying lets fix this mess.

A little while later I have received no return call, I try again. Leave a message. I explain again and try to be a little more apologetic.

no return call.

I see her on line in chat and say hi - I am ignored. Now I am getting angry. I have climbed the highest mountain and swam the deepest sea - yes - I - Bull! I actually entered, browsed, and re-entered a candle/potpourii/stuff store. I was a gentleman. I didn't get sick and throw up all over their precious candles and potpourii and stuff. I didn't break anything. I walked out the door with my masculinity secure and intact. I had achieved guy, overcommer of all obstacles, greatness!!!!!!!!!! and now she won't talk to me.

So - I suck it up. I call her one more time. Leave a message. I think for a moment about what kind of message I would like to leave. I decide to be tactful. I apologize for the misunderstanding one more time and ask her to call to discuss the issue.

I see her in chat and say fuck-it. I am now ignoring her. A guy can only apologize just so much when he isn't wrong.

Somebody help me out here.

frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
12/10/2005 6:00 pm

You are in the right, she is in the wrong and rude as well it seems.

Did you swap pictures before you met? Maybe you weren't here type physically and she saw you from her car? No need to have no manners though, she could have at least said thanks but no thanks.

Onwards and upwards...leave her...plenty more fish in the sea!!


kats60 56F

12/10/2005 6:21 pm

hey you did good! shit on her!!! kat

Bigrigdriver53 63M

12/10/2005 7:06 pm

Good Question.

I guess only SHE knows the real answer.

But for whatever her answer could be (and it sounds as if you will never get an answer from her)...Don't go around thinking other women are like that. Instead if saying Please tell me ---- what the hell is in a woman's mind?...You should ask what was in HER mind.

Do not give up. I would like you to know that my little brother from Texas has found his loving wife three years ago on an adult chat service like this one, And they are a very happy couple with two beautiful babies now.

So the fact that this one person did you wrong...Dose not mean that this will happen to you everytime. So the answer dose not come from "what is in women's mind"...But what was in HER mind.

This is an unusual thing that happened to you. Whatever her reasons, I for one see her as a coward that did not have the courage to just tell you to go away. The main question I would ask, Was she sober when she made the agreement? Or drunk? or on drugs?

Bottom line is, Do not hold that experience against other ladies because of that.

However if this happens over and over to you again...I would
say someone may be paying girls to set you up and hurt you like that. Because women justdo not usually do that. She was surely playing a game on you.

There are good women out there, You may not find them as soon as you want to, But time will come to pass that you will find the right person

So take care and never give up.

Good luck to you,
Larry Thompson

slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
12/10/2005 7:36 pm

Well, hmmm... my guess is she got really nervous/scared...and probably expected you to read her mind and instantly know she was in her car...then when of course you didn't "show up" in terms of finding her in her car...she probably got hurt and maybe felt she was stood up or....she might have felt that you did see her in her car and didn't like what you's hard telling what really happened and what went thru her mind....or even if she actually did go...maybe she lied about going and sitting in her car. I think though that what it boils down to is she changed her mind, and is now just really embarrassed.

I had a similar thing happen to me...many years ago. I had met a guy on a telephone dating thing...and for over a week we talked nightly, for hours and hours on end...and oh...I was just what he was looking it didn't matter that I wasn't thin...he didn't care that I was a bit on the heavy was he said...and I had the same thoughts about him...ok.

So we decide to meet and we decide we're going to meet at this sports bar that is close to where we both lived...

Well, I get there and when I pulled up there he was ... pacing back and forth in front of the building....and I'm thinking "ok..I like what I see so far"... So, I get out of my car...and I walk up to him and ask if he is "so and so"...and he looks me in the eye and says... NO... so I apologize for the mixup... and I go into the bar... (now all along...I'm thinking....WTF...I know that that guy was who I was supposed to meet) I go in the bar... I make a quick walk thru...and leave....he's still out there...but I guess he was pretending to be doing something else....anyway... I don't really look at him... (partly because by then my feelings were quite hurt and I had no clue why he did what he did) I get in my car and I go home.... and I call and leave a message on his answering machine...something to the affect that we must have missed each other and to give me a call.... so we could try agan. Nothing...not a word...ever. I was pretty puzzled by that behavior and very hurt that here he would say that he didn't care that I wasn't thin etc. Anyway... several nights/days went by...and just for the hell of it... I called him... and he answered.. and I said "Hi..hey, I'm sorry we missed each other the other day..." and before I said much more than that... he said "we didn't miss each other.. I saw you... you were hideous...fat..."... and on and on... with words like that. He was very hurtful....but... probably a week or 2 later... I met a guy who was 27 and at that time I was 47 and he was hot..and very well built...a real hunk...and he became my toyboy for nearly 2 years. So, my ego healed real quick... of course. lol....

I say forget her... you didn't do anything wrong or anything to deserve silence from her... she's not worth the worry....all though I'm not sure what all you had talked about and what all you had hoped it would be. Just don't let yourself fall into a funk.... get back out there and you'll meet someone who will show up...

I hope my 2 cents helped... take care and good luck.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
12/10/2005 7:47 pm

Oh by the way... I just checked your I hadn't before I left my last comment...for some reason I thought "you" were a much younger guy...anyway...that doesn't matter...but I'm curious about the picture of you riding a bike on a tight wire... how cool is that? Wow... oh and also I like the looks of your bed... I love canopy's... I built my own over my bed... Anyway..that's all... just was impressed about the bike pic...oh and your not to bad yourself. Later....

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/11/2005 7:28 am

Thanks for the response:

Frangipanigal: I should have mentioned that there may have been a misunderstanding as to the time of the meet. Initially we had agreed to a noon meet but our last conversation bumped it to 1pm.
I am quite sure she was not in the parking lot when I was there. I saw no one that remotely resembled her around. Quite confident that it was simply a time issue. I am 51 but still get eyed a lot and I was looking pretty good at the time.
I think she was there at 12 and felt that I had stood her up. I don't do that. I just wished she had given me a fair hearing on the issue but now I don't really care lol.

By the way - your pic is fine - bare ass and nylons is a good look on you.

Kats60: Thanx and yeah thats pretty much the way I feel about it now. It was an honest misunderstanding on both our parts. The handling of it tells me all I need to know.

Valleyrat4: I know exactly who your talking about but no it wasn't her. I think she had some personal issues that took her out. I seemed to get along great with her right up until her disappearing act. But now that you mention it, hope this sort of crap isn't a trend lol.

Bigrigdriver53: Thanks for the post - I explained what I know of the situation more in my response to frangipanigal. You seem like a good and kind soul. My best wishes to you and yours during the holidays.

Slidein2meplz: Thank you for your post. Seems you ran into a real calloused a-hole. Sorry you had to experience such a creep. I have met women from this site that I had zero physical chemistry with but still managed to have a nice lunch with. There is so much more to people than what you just see. I was married to a beautiful woman when I was young but her soul was not very pretty at all. I like to think that someday, maybe but I've long since given up searching or expecting. Now I live, very happily, casually dating and enjoying my life as it is. My life is filled with joy and peace. I do not feel lonely. I am more content with my life now than I ever have been.
BTW: the bed isn't mine - just using it for the night - hotel. I'm
much more spartan.
Also the bike on a tightwire? Thats at the Ben Franklin science museum in Philly. Very safe, a bit scarey, lots of fun. I saw little kids on the dam thing - just had to try it myself lol.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/11/2005 8:23 pm

ty mzhunyhole - my bet is miscommunication.

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