Is it ok not to really want a relationship?  

bullseyetou 63M
119 posts
12/16/2005 12:19 pm

Last Read:
9/2/2009 5:20 am

Is it ok not to really want a relationship?

I've been single for many years now. My divorce was sometime in the last century.

I find contentment living alone. I have my home the way I like it. Go to bed and get up when I want. Mow the lawn if I feel like it or wait till it gets tall enough to play safari stalking the neighbor's cat.

Yeah sure It gets lonely sometimes but I really do enjoy my own company.

I read and write without interuption.

Cook when and what I want.

Frequency of sex is not greatly diminished from when I was married. Thats not saying much. lol

I find a lot of women in here are hoping for a ltr. I respect that. I don't think its for me. Its not that I am emotionless or something like that I feel deeply about people involved in my life.

I just don't feel the need to be joined at the hip 24/7. I enjoy relationships with women that are warm and caring. I guess I want to avoid the stigma of being a player while keeping my relationships on a more casual level.

I think sex is wonderful and it permanently alters how two people interact, in a good way. I don't feel the need to own the woman afterwards and I don't wish to be owned. But a friendship is a treasure.

Thats my view on it, at least for today.

Ok - anybody have a thought on this?

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
12/16/2005 12:47 pm

I have a wonderful husband, but I often think that if something ever happened to him, that I wouldn't get married again. I think sex is wonderful also, but I do enjoy my alone time. And I don't think I could start over with a new man sharing my life 24/7. I'd sure want one around for friendship and ............

SlimGoodGuy 38M

12/16/2005 12:56 pm

So I'm guessing your previous marriage has been a major influence on you to have this philosophy on relationships?

buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
12/16/2005 1:32 pm

You have to do what works for you. What we think of it is irrelevant!

HotTXpussy4U 48F

12/16/2005 2:02 pm

What's cool is that I thought I was the ONLY one. Being married when I was younger..then being single for 10 years and loving it. Maybe I thought there was something wrong with me - so I married again. It lasted 2 months. I do not say it was all his fault, never would, but I know how I am and the space I like to have. I like to go shopping after work - don't care if I eat or not. I like spending entire Sunday's on the sofa watching football. I also want to go out and dance/drink/shoot pool. I'm a naturally flirty person - this NEVER bodes well with any guy I am involved in.

So I've resolved the single life is for me. I can cook if I want or not, I can leave my shoes all over the house, I can decide to head out at 10pm if I'm in the mood. I guess it all makes me selfish - but until I meet someone where we can both fit in comfortably...then it's just me - or maybe it's not!

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/16/2005 4:11 pm

angelofmercy - exactly - there is something special about being single that defies much of popular thought. Its not that you don't need to feel a tender caress or an intimate moment its just that you realize the importance of personal growth. Relationships often unintentionally hinder that.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/16/2005 4:20 pm

Interesting view Kate - I think I may enjoy a relationship with one woman if I truly felt an exhorbitant amount of freedom within that relationship. I have yet to experience that. So, maybe that colors my thought a bit. I too tend to be eccentric in some ways. I become obsessed with projects and nothing else exists at those times. Conversely, I truly enjoy warm companionship and intimate moments with a woman, they mean a lot to me.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/16/2005 4:26 pm

lol Slimgoodguy - not a bad observation - I am sure it had some impact - it was a pretty bad marriage. However I have had several relationships in my life that were wonderful. I've pulled out when I felt smothered. Some ended because of work transfers, goal differences, things like that. But if I feel I am becomming a piece of property or my individuality is disappearing, I start eyeing the door.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/16/2005 4:28 pm

yeah Buddhamike I'd agree with that. It helps to bounce your thoughts around out there though - keeps you grounded.

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/16/2005 4:32 pm

lol HotTXpussy4u - too bad your so far away - it might work (smile).
Individuality is great thing. I don't intend to dump it lightly.
Happy Holidays

itsallfun1957 59M

12/18/2005 8:14 pm

You are not alone in your philosophy and it is refreshing to hear of kindred souls.>>>itsallfun1957

bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
12/19/2005 3:46 am

itsallfun ty again - from your handle I'm guessing your around my age - funny how we mature in our thinking as we get older. I find myself a lot more casual in relationships.


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