Stupid Cupid  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
10/19/2005 8:59 pm

Last Read:
9/14/2006 5:27 am

Stupid Cupid


Ever laughed so much you had trouble breathing?

This particular incident was a little something I thought up. Sometimes I am an evil bastard, sometimes I'm evil and other times I'm just a bastard.

I have a couple of mates. I'll call them Bob1 and Bob2. Not to be confused with those spastic Aussie children's characters B1 and B2. The banana's in pyjamas.

God I hate them.

Do you B1? I most certainly do B2!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? What that you're a fucking freak in a suit B2? Why yes B1! Exactly!

Where was I?

Oh yeah Bob1 and Bob2.

One day, we were all at the pub. Drinking like good friends do. Somehow I ended up with Bob1's mobile.

After scrolling through his messages and reading the saucy stuff while cradling my crotch and rocking backwards and forwards on the barstool breathing heavily at the female barstaff... I had an idea.

If only I could get her to cradle my crotch while I do this.

Then just as quickly... I had another thought.

I jumped into Bob1's address book and replaced his girlfriends number with Bob2's.

I then somehow... don't ask me... we were getting a little bit pissed at that stage, I managed to get Bob2's phone.

I rattled a few texts to Bob1 about how much I wanted to take his cock in my mouth and then up my arse... so on and so on.

You get the idea? I then deleted all evidence from the sent items.

I then said to Bob2... You know... I could be wrong but I reckon Bob1 is bisexual. Have you seen how he looks at you?

Of course this was met with absolute horror by Bob2.

Don't be so fucking stupid Bulge! Fucks sake man! That's just fucked up!

Oh well. I could be wrong... it just seemed like he fancied you, that's all.


LMAO God I'm having trouble breathing now. Just the thought of it makes me laugh... and I mean *really* laugh.

By the time Bob1 notices these messages he's gone.

Nearly 20 minutes later Bob2 gets a text.

I'd love to put my cock in your mouth

Fortunately I was able to laugh it off. I told Bob2 - see? I fucking told ya.

Bob2 thought it was a joke so he sent the old ha ha back. 10 seconds later in came the next one.

God I'm hard. I can just see my cock up your arse.

It was at that point I left. I couldn't hang around there. I needed air and I needed it quickly.

I don't really know what happened after that. They didn't mention it, and fucked if I was gonna ask.

They might have suspected my involvement... but they never said anything.

Christ. They could be lovers now for all I know.



Me, the matchmaker.

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
10/20/2005 10:09 am


you are soo wrong

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/20/2005 10:21 am

Bulge, see I knew you were a sweet guy. Whats a munter? It's not a little fuzzy fruit is it?

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 11:15 am

I know Luke. I just can't help myself sometimes.

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 11:19 am

Hiya Saint

I am a sweet guy.

A munter is Kiwi colloquial slang. It means someone who's broken. When something is munted, it means broken beyond repair.

Hence a munter. Tho munter generally refers to someones intellect.

We call those little fuzzy things kiwifruit as well. You should come on down... I could show you around.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/20/2005 11:57 am

Hey...I always like Bananas in Pajamas. **frown**

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/20/2005 11:58 am "d" key stuck when I typed the word "liked."

I suppose it from typing "dickhead" so often.

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 1:04 pm

You're allowed to like 'em DT.

Makes sense you would really

They just never did it for me... and that whole 'are you thinking what I'm thinking' just annoyed the crap outta me.

Plus they just looked wierd

saddletrampsk 54F

10/20/2005 1:16 pm

You are a bad, bad boy..come to my room and I'll give you a spanking..

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 1:46 pm

on my way saddle. Which one is it again?

MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
10/20/2005 5:01 pm


Stories like this always makes me cry, when the boy wins love in the end...


Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 6:28 pm


Priapus... you are one sick fucker! LOL

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 7:32 pm

It's ok nikki... just your number will be fine

five_speed 41M

10/20/2005 8:36 pm

modern match making at it's finest. that's just too damn funny.

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 10:05 pm

Believe me 5er. I was *this* [presses fingers together] close to asphyxiating myself.

bulging_boy 49M

10/20/2005 10:06 pm

Sil... you won't be disappointed.

Peche85 31F

10/22/2005 5:42 pm

Lol thats hilarious!! Good thing I delete all my messages straight away hehe then nobody knows if I've been getting 'saucy' messages hehe.

bulging_boy 49M

10/22/2005 9:36 pm

That it is Peche. I damned near pissed my pants.

I just wish I had a picture of his face.

neotrio 41M/38F
1213 posts
10/26/2005 7:46 am

well i think it's hilarious, but i'd continue sleeping with one eye open and parking in well lit might have a wee bit of an arse kicking coming to ya!

so....are they lovers now?

bulging_boy 49M

10/27/2005 11:19 pm

LMAO neotrio,

I have no idea. I might see what other mischief I can get them into.

I'm thinking maybe after a good solid night on the piss...

Sneaking a pair of undies into their cars or something... with the other ones name written in it.


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