Spiderman on a budget  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
11/22/2005 1:16 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Spiderman on a budget

I got to thinking when it got quiet. Well maybe not so much thinking but remembering.

I have this memory from my school days that plagues me. Not sure why, but I figured I'd tell you anyway.

Of course I'd tell you... but in the telling, I thought I'd ask you for a similar experience... not similar as in the same, but as in a haunting memory from school.

Mine happened on the way to school. We were getting off the bus. It was winter and I was full of the cold.

Most people get a runny nose, others get loads of phlegm. I get both.

As we got off. I fought an urge to sneeze. I didn't fight hard enough and I lost. The sneeze would have rivalled the house felling power of the big bad wolf. However, along with it... went my phlegm.

I swear to god, I have no idea how this guy didn't feel it. Surely it would have been like getting a punch in the back. When my eyes opened I stared in horror at the plate of slime covering his jacket. Spiderman would have high fived me for sure.

So there you go. I probably traumatised him. Kids are cruel and I can't imagine the teasing he got as a result.

I would have said something, but looking back...
old snotback would have probably punched me!

ok. so that's mine. What's yours?

AGNJoe1 46M

11/22/2005 2:22 pm

Dude, thank you so much for the laugh and the obscure Spider-Man reference. Anyway, keep up the good work!


bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 2:58 pm

Hey Joe,

No problem. I may have been shooting the web, but when he found it?

He'd be the one climbing the walls.


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
11/22/2005 3:14 pm


Your continuing fascination with phlegm is applaudable... you should be in my business, you'd fit right in at the hospital.

I gotta love a good snot story first thing when I wake up. Almost makes me want to call and pick up an extra shift. (But not quite.)

Cheers Booger-man!



rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
11/22/2005 3:27 pm

Well, a somewhat similar experience to yours, except over here in the statesmothers pound it into our heads to cover our mouths and noses when we sneeze. Well, I did, so that means I caught everything that came out. I wasn't sure it was even all the way out at that point and I wasn't moving my hand to find out. I approached the teacher, hand still over my nose and face and the resulting conversation took place...

ME (very muffled) "I need to go to the restroom."

Teacher "What?"

AGAIN ME (very muffled) "I need to go to the restroom."

Teacher "What? I can't understand you."

YET AGAIN ME (very muffled) "I need to go to the restroom."

Teacher "Take your hand away from your face and tell me what you are trying to say."

ME (shaking my head, removing hand and watching things stretch from my fingers to my face) "I need to go to the restroom to wash my hand because I sneezed and snot came out all over. See?"

The look on her face and the lurch her stomach made as i moved my hand away from my face made getting snot all over myself worthwhile.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 3:45 pm

Hiya Blonde,

If you were a booger... I'd pick you!


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
11/22/2005 6:22 pm

well...it's not quite anything like that...but when I was 16 I seriously wanted to be a bus driver and so my best friend took me out in her 65 tang and attemtped to teach me to drive stick. After three tries I believe she had second thoughts and so she told me I was doing a great job and was more than ready to handle the school bus. Confidently I took the course...scored lovely grades and was soooo excited about finally getting to the driving part. I proudly walked to the seat of responsibility - sat myself down - buckled myself up - started the bus - looked behind me to smile sweetly at the instructor and promptly put the bus in reverse instead of first and slammed us all into the 3' ditch. Needless to say, after the ER visit and a nice little chat with my principle, parents and instructor - I was sadly denied my greatest wish. Furthermore, my wee little accident was documented by the local newspaper and the driving age for school buses was changed and everyone blamed me. Imagine the torture. In truth...it was not my fault at all - It was after all Beth, my best friend, who had convinced me that I could drive a stick and none of that would have happened if she hadn't been so damned worried about her stupid car. Pixie's are never at fault you know.....

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 6:48 pm

Daph that is fantastic!

I wish we had a picture of that. Oh yeah... and the teachers face!


wife4stranger 57F

11/22/2005 6:54 pm

Well, when I was in elementary school, I was quite small. Smaller than all my classmates, so all the teachers, room mothers, etc were always trying to make me eat more....drink milk, etc. Problem was, I was quite intolerant of milk. One year at the Christmas party in our class this room mother was insistant I was going to drink the milk. I kept telling her I would puke, but resistance was futile. I WOULD drink the milk. So I drank, I ran, I knocked over the Christmas tree and proceeded to puke all over Mrs Buttinsky's nerdy son as we both lay tangled up in the tinsel and ornaments. Truly a Kodak moment of there ever was one.

bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 8:07 pm

LOL Pixie,

I doubt I could do that.

I'd have ended up like Otto from the Simpsons

bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 8:08 pm

It depends on how good a friend they are nikki,

and how big their nose is!

bulging_boy 49M

11/22/2005 8:10 pm

Nice one wife!

I reckon any incidents involving bodily fluids rate highly in my book.

rm_Mzhineyhole 36F
138 posts
11/24/2005 7:13 am

I did a threesome with an old couple one time. The grandma went down on me and she had a nasty smoking habit and kept coughing and hacking up lung oysters and was just coughing and hacking up all over my pretty little kitty. At some point, while she coughing and hacking her false teeth came out of her mouth and lodged in my kitty. She was too afraid to say anything about it and it was such a disgusting thing that I had already escaped into that special place in my mind and did not really know what was going on. I did not want to be doing this but they paid the 49.95 do I did not feel right stopping them.
Anyways, old man got tired fucking my face and decided he was ready for some little tight kitty and just kinda pushed her out of the way and rammed his dick in me. He didn't know her false teeth were inside me and when he rammed my my kegler muscles clenched up forcing the teeth to bite down with quite abit of force. (I have strong kegler muscles) Needless to say, his penis was cleanly bitten off and he jumped up screaming and blood was spurting from the stump that used to be his dick. His hands were holding his private area but still the blood was squirting out in all directions through his fingers.
She rushed him to the hospital and now I have to have 2 tooth brushes so I can brush both sets of teeth that I have. Someday I hope to have the set removed from my vagina. Now you know why I am a lesbian..
My dildos all have teeth marks on them and I seem to totally chew up 4 or 5 a month.

bulging_boy 49M

11/24/2005 11:53 am

LOL Mzhiney!


Somehow I had figured the reason to be a little bit more...

ummm... unsurmountable

So all I need is $49.95 and to get those teeth out?


bardicman 50M

11/25/2005 3:08 am


I am not dead yet

bulging_boy 49M

11/25/2005 4:11 am

I see your WTF Bard,

and I raise you another W

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/25/2005 9:20 pm

Hehehehe ... nice

When I was in high school my friend was in the lunch line before me. He got the last chocolate brownie and he was being an ass about it. Anyway while we were eating I had a big o' sneeze and a nice wad of snot landed right on his brownie. The look on his face was priceless. I cried I laughed so hard.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bulging_boy 49M

11/25/2005 10:32 pm


Beautiful. It's those kind of things that makes me wish that the old 'Kodak moment' campaign had started a shit load earlier.

Did he eat it?

Become a member to create a blog