Seriously *un* Real  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
6/27/2006 3:24 am

Last Read:
7/13/2007 8:56 pm

Seriously *un* Real


Man/Woman thing posted today or yesterday or sometime in the past depending on when you actually read this, about being roont by his succubus.

It's not a word I use, but then I'm not as wanky as him, so I tend to use words that are in normal circulation... not just reserved for those whose brains are bigger than most cars.

Anyhow, his post reminded me of my desperate escape from the thighs of my beloved fluid drainer. As I lay on the bed, chest heaving in air and sweat pouring off me... I heard a ping come from my laptop.

In true SR style, I hoarsely croaked I need to get that. When I did, who should it be?

None other than the man/woman him/herself.

Hi. How are you doing?

I'm great.

We bantered for a few minutes before the conversation turned to his imaginary lover and her breasts. It seems she wasn't prepared to hand over pictures of them, and thusly a chatroom was prepared for her to explain herself.

Me: You got no boob pics? What's up with that?

Imaginary: I got boob pics, but what do you want to see SR for?


Seriously_Real: Hey!

Me: Good point. Does he look the same as he does here in real life?

Imaginary: Oh hell yes. He has the strangest wavy hair you could imagine.

Me: Freaky eyes.

Imaginary: Yes. Very freaky

Seriously_Real: I don't know why I do this to myself

Me: Use your left hand

Imaginary: I'm not touching that.

Me: Is he really that hairy?

Imaginary: Hairier, it's actually :::really::: difficult to explain how hairy this man is, but I'll try. If say you got about forty thousand cats all to lick themselves furiously and then cough up a hairball, and then took those hairballs and made it into a person? That would be SR.

Seriously_Real: heh

Me: Uhhhhh.

Imaginary: He keeps me warm. What can I say.

Me: That he's dry?

Imaginary: Oh hell yes. I put him in the dryer first.

Seriously_Real: heh. I go round. It's nice. I get dizzy.

Me: He's just come out hasn't he?

Imaginary: Yes. Can you tell?

Me: Yep. He's typing small sentences.

Seriously_Real: heh


Me: Can you do this more often?


Seriously_Real: heh heh


Me: Not you... mammoth boy


Seriously_Real: heh. oh.


Imaginary: Of course. I like it when he spins around as well.


and that was pretty much our conversation. Long enough for me to catch my breath and for the time difference to put my gorgeous American girl to sleep.

*phew*

I'm not complaining of course. Ever since I was sixteen I had dreamt of leaving the world like this.

Of course... now that I'm nearly there...

I just want it to take a *little* longer.

frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
6/27/2006 5:37 am

Now why doesn't any of that suprise me.....

What I am suprised abiut is that have made it out of bed long enough to post!!

Have fun you two.

Frangi x


Seriously_Real 48M

6/27/2006 7:32 am

My Imaginary told me that you took just a WEEE bit of license with this....go figure. What can you expect from a confirmed spakker.

I'll have you know that she does not put me in the dryer to dry me off. I have to hang upside down from the chandelier to drip dry, because otherwise I'll wrinkle.

Sheesh. Don't you know anything about laundry?

And one other thing....don't even TRY to be wittier than me in front of my girlfriend. I've got her thinking that I am sometimes funny, and then you come along and I'm a third wheel. You're a bad man....

--Seriously

p.s. -- Hi to Lil.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/27/2006 7:33 am

Why the hell is your IM logging on in the middle of the night (for you, 2 am) and then immediately going idle? Is the kiwi internet screwing up again?

BTW, just an update. I finished the quilt top last night. Now comes the time consuming part.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/27/2006 7:39 am

lol...now THAT was hilarious....thanks for sharing.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/27/2006 1:14 pm

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    My Imaginary told me that you took just a WEEE bit of license with this....go figure. What can you expect from a confirmed spakker.

    I'll have you know that she does not put me in the dryer to dry me off. I have to hang upside down from the chandelier to drip dry, because otherwise I'll wrinkle.

    Sheesh. Don't you know anything about laundry?

    And one other thing....don't even TRY to be wittier than me in front of my girlfriend. I've got her thinking that I am sometimes funny, and then you come along and I'm a third wheel. You're a bad man....

    --Seriously

    p.s. -- Hi to Lil.
He's right you know. To put something that hairy in the dryer you'd have to use about 50 Bounce dryer sheets to keep down the static electricity so he doesn't come out looking like he has a total body 'fro. If they are going to use the dryer, they owe it to us to let us know ahead of time so that we can all invest in Bounce stock.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:30 pm

    Quoting rm_valleyrat4:
    A computer in your bedroom? How novel! What's next a chess / checkerboard?

    There are times for staying and bed and times for talking with Chewbacca! You must learn to differentiate between the two....

    valleyrat4....slipping back to his bed for more of the cure for what ails me.
It's a laptop, and the neighbours could certainly be excused for thinking there *was* a chessboard in here.

All that mating going on.

Bulging Boy... Being dragged by his hair back into the bed for more of...


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:34 pm

    Quoting frangipanigal:
    Now why doesn't any of that suprise me.....

    What I am suprised abiut is that have made it out of bed long enough to post!!

    Have fun you two.

    Frangi x
What I am suprised abiut is that have made it out of bed...

That sentence will end up in my halls of fame Frangi,

I'm guessing you were still in shock.

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:35 pm

    Quoting Sarcasmistress:
    We almost made him cry in that chat. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

    Congrats again!
Yes.

Close but no cigar though.

Next time... CAM THE FUCK UP.

I wanna see those tears.


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:40 pm

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    My Imaginary told me that you took just a WEEE bit of license with this....go figure. What can you expect from a confirmed spakker.

    I'll have you know that she does not put me in the dryer to dry me off. I have to hang upside down from the chandelier to drip dry, because otherwise I'll wrinkle.

    Sheesh. Don't you know anything about laundry?

    And one other thing....don't even TRY to be wittier than me in front of my girlfriend. I've got her thinking that I am sometimes funny, and then you come along and I'm a third wheel. You're a bad man....

    --Seriously

    p.s. -- Hi to Lil.
Oh I'd never try to be wittier than you.

Better looking?

Hell yeah.

I mean lets face it... I have more chance of pulling off that standing next to you with your crazy hair and freaky eyes than I'd ever have of trumping you in a battle of the brain.

Unless of course... I threw in some random historic legal case reference. Then you'd be so distracted that I'd feel that the playing field had been leveled.


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:46 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Why the hell is your IM logging on in the middle of the night (for you, 2 am) and then immediately going idle? Is the kiwi internet screwing up again?

    BTW, just an update. I finished the quilt top last night. Now comes the time consuming part.
Kiwi internet screwing up?

What do you expect?

I couldn't tell ya Daph... bar the fact that at 2am I was fast asleep.

Strangely enough... I've been needing a lot more of that since A got here.

Wooohooooo on the quilt front, or top... you know what I mean.


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 2:47 pm

    Quoting TheRealThing655:
    lol...now THAT was hilarious....thanks for sharing.
Yeah RealThing,

If *only* we'd got him to cry.

Of course, that would be the chat equivalent of a hole in one.

hehehe


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 4:58 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    He's right you know. To put something that hairy in the dryer you'd have to use about 50 Bounce dryer sheets to keep down the static electricity so he doesn't come out looking like he has a total body 'fro. If they are going to use the dryer, they owe it to us to let us know ahead of time so that we can all invest in Bounce stock.
I'd be more concerned thinking about it *now* that if he got some kind of static thing going on...

He'd be liable to start a fire... and with that much hair?

We'd be able to see the smoke from down here!


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
6/27/2006 7:21 pm

HUH? (Imp slowly shuffles away, dragging her little pixie feet, trying to figure out WTF THAT conversation was all about???)

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
6/27/2006 8:28 pm

    Quoting bulging_boy:
    What I am suprised abiut is that have made it out of bed...

    That sentence will end up in my halls of fame Frangi,

    I'm guessing you were still in shock.

    LOL
Shit!! A Hall Of Famer with a spelling mistake, and on YOUR blog, of ALL PEOPLE...Arrgghh!!

Now get back to bed!

Frangi X


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 8:57 pm

    Quoting impish_pixie:
    HUH? (Imp slowly shuffles away, dragging her little pixie feet, trying to figure out WTF THAT conversation was all about???)
uhhh... that's ok.

I'm trying to work out how you can shuffle *and* drag your little pixie feet at the same time.

unless.

the little pixie feet belonged to a little pixie, and you have them now. Which makes them your little pixie feet, but not *your* feet.


bulging_boy 49M

6/27/2006 9:01 pm

    Quoting frangipanigal:
    Shit!! A Hall Of Famer with a spelling mistake, and on YOUR blog, of ALL PEOPLE...Arrgghh!!

    Now get back to bed!

    Frangi X
Aye, Aye Cap'n.

Who can argue with an order like that.

You heard the lady babe. Back to bed with you.

[arrrrrghhhh]

No. She said we *had* to.


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
6/28/2006 9:11 am

Holy shit...

I go offline for a few days and THIS happens? I love him dearly but one of him is enough, ok???

You are BULGING_BOY. You talk about sheep and excrement and say "ffs" a lot. Read and repeat the previous sentence to youself many times.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


bulging_boy 49M

6/28/2006 5:36 pm

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Holy shit...

    I go offline for a few days and THIS happens? I love him dearly but one of him is enough, ok???

    You are BULGING_BOY. You talk about sheep and excrement and say "ffs" a lot. Read and repeat the previous sentence to youself many times.
Just my way of making sure you don't go offline again.

Got it?

Oh... my non imaginary says Hi.


imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/28/2006 6:22 pm

It cracked me up. ROFL


bulging_boy 49M

6/29/2006 3:28 am

LOL

I can tell by the picture Lady Bambi


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
7/21/2006 11:51 am

He is just about that hairy...


bulging_boy 49M

8/29/2006 2:21 am

    Quoting aascrompn:
    He is just about that hairy...
apparently moreso


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