Seafood makes me queasy  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
11/16/2005 1:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Seafood makes me queasy


At the risk of setting myself up as some kind of sick practical joker, I'm gonna tell you about one of my better evenings.

Of course I was young and impressionable.

Of course it was a new job.

Of course it was our Christmas dinner.

Now... I'm not normally one to waste food. Believe me! No really! I'm not crying wolf... at all!

I'll skip all the boring drinking and talking shit prior to our meal and just cut to the chase.

We all sat down and were given our menus. Scanning for the most expensive stuff as you do when you aint paying... I was nearly ready to order.

Then I saw that oysters were in season.

I'm sorry if you don't like oysters... but I do. If you don't like them and get horrid visuals, then you'll know exactly where I'm going. If you like them and have read any of my previous posts... then you probably do too!

See here in good ol' Kiwiland... we get Bluff oysters which are huge. Seriously. Monsters. Connosiour's delights.

So I ordered them as my entree. Nice. They arrived in the shell and looked fantastic.

Being the pervert that I am... I ate all but one, and slipped onto my napkin for later. Hehehe... later!

Halfway through the main course. I lifted my napkin and faked the loudest sneeze possible.

Naturally this attracted the attention of everyone at the table.


With the exquisite timing of an explosives expert, I opened the napkin... scooped up the oyster and popped it into my mouth.

As I surveyed the open mouthed looks of horror, all I could say was 'Whaagh?' as I swallowed.

You know... I had two of the office ladies dry retching, I could see them heaving air in gulps.

I can't remember what happened after that, somehow... it aint important. What was important is that I *almost* got them to puke.

Oh boy. Imagine if I had.

bardicman 50M

11/16/2005 2:38 pm

ROFL !!!

If you were a woman I would fuck you..
Ok probably not.....


I am not dead yet

mysteriesofme 44F

11/16/2005 2:52 pm

For some reason.. I just had the funniest picture in my mind.. Could you picture all of us bloggers at a Table....

bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 5:30 pm


For the first time ever... I was nervous!


bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 5:31 pm

LOL mysteries...

That would be *wild* I doubt whether any restaurant in their right mind would let us in tho.

MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
11/16/2005 6:06 pm


I cruised by a couple hours ago; Read, Snorted, and Laughed. I was about to Comment with a tale of my own, but you know how I am...

My Immature restaurant misbehaviour is now available at The Eyes Have it, hot off the table, errr, presses...

btw- good thing it wasn't a Rocky Mountain Oyster..! Now that's gross!!!


Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/16/2005 6:36 pm

That's a damn beautiful story

Back in college my friends and I had another great trick. It took a little more prep work and coordination but it was always good for a giggle. One of us would have a Ziploc bag full of cream of mushroom or cream of chicken soup hidden in their shirt. At some point they would talk about how they felt ill and then start to pretend they were blowing chunks while they emptied the contents of the Ziploc baggie onto a convenient surface. That was our cue to grab spoons and start chowing down on the fake puke. Scared a few dates away with that one but ya win some lose.

Hehehehe ... good times

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 7:49 pm


Nope. I was *young* and strangely... noone really wanted to talk to me after that!

bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 7:50 pm

Mr P,

After seeing the mushroom cloud you laid in the trailer, I'm keen as mustard gas to see where it all started.


bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 7:51 pm

LMAO Luke,

That's fucking beautiful. Unfortunately I was flying solo on that particular venture, which left my options severly limited.

Still... I was happy with the result.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/16/2005 8:40 pm

I dont get it, my elbow hurts.

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
11/17/2005 12:42 am

LMAO... the only thing that would have been better is if you sneezed your oyster onto someone's shoulder, picked it off, admired it and scarfed it down. Or bonus points if you could get sneeze it into some chicks hair...

Bet nobody says "bless you" anymore, huh?

*still laughing*


bulging_boy 49M

11/17/2005 1:50 am

Awwwww Saint,

Come on over here and let me rub it better for ya

bulging_boy 49M

11/17/2005 1:50 am

LOL trav

just LOL

bulging_boy 49M

11/17/2005 1:52 am

Blonde... a woman after my own heart.

You are after my heart right?

bulging_boy 49M

11/17/2005 3:47 am

C'mon Sil,

I've saved you a seat!


1023 posts
11/17/2005 7:11 am

What's now important is that you made me puke in my wastebasket... I was scared I was get the 'puter but for once I saw the other side of luck... when I was puking mind you, YIPEE! I like oysters... the thing that made me sick was the idea of you uncontrolled in a mixed social setting... were they all marsupials or only some of you? hehehehe just kidding, Bulge!

bulging_boy 49M

11/17/2005 10:08 am

LOL Viking,

I hope you didn't waste *that*

Lord knows a hot meal in winter always looks good.

Even a lumpy mess like that!


2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
11/21/2005 2:45 am

My donation after Mr P offered [post145131]

Hurl on.

2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
11/21/2005 2:47 am

that should read The Eyes Have it

bulging_boy 49M

11/24/2005 6:29 am

LOL 2x

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