Organ for sale!  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
12/13/2005 12:25 pm

Last Read:
6/17/2006 6:46 am

Organ for sale!


Christmas!

Ordinarily a time of cheer, laughter and merriment.

Yet... around this time most people struggle with the financial costs associated with it.

It's huge isn't it? The pressure to provide a suitable environment for everyone to enjoy themselves.

The presents... the presents... the presents...

The decorations, the food... the list goes on.

So as I was grappling myself with the cost of christmas myself... imagine my horror when I got a call from a credit agency to tell me of an account that I had forgotten about.

Just under a grand. Fan fucking tastic!

Not only just under a grand... but just under a grand to be paid in less than 3 hours. In three hours or my credit rating was going to be fucked for five years!

Cheers ya soul-less fucks! Merry Christmas to you too! I hope Santa brings you a turd... and a fresh one. In fact. I hope Santa brings the dog and squeezes it out on you while you sleep.

Not that I'm bitter you understand.

If I had any prior knowledge I would have paid it sooner. I was just pissed off they gave me such short notice.

I really only have myself to blame.

If I wasn't such a spastic this wouldn't have happened. Obviously that aint an excuse they can work with.

Oh well... I'll take a picture of my kids crying on Christmas morning, turn it into a calendar and send it to them.

Probably have no effect.

No doubt they'd throw it on the pile... or put it up and laugh.

Just as well I have two kidneys!

Don't worry kids. Daddy's spending a few weeks in hospital, so you can have some toys under the tree.

Despite everything... I'm gonna make sure that everyone has a *great* Christmas.

Myself included!

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
12/13/2005 1:38 pm

Aaaww... those poor little bouncy angels. I'll send some chocolate fingers for them to nibble on. Got anything else you want to flog?

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


saddletrampsk 54F

12/13/2005 1:38 pm

You know I had this same thought today as I was baking butter tarts, shortbread, gingersnaps and making fudge and almond bark and carmel popcorn..Christmas is just a pain in the fucking ass and all this baking and decorating and spending money is just setting up our kids to be as fucking dysfunctional as we have been at Christmas..ho ho fucking ho and I feel your pain..


saddletrampsk 54F

12/13/2005 1:39 pm

The only organ I wanna think about buying is a GIANT throbbing cock..


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/13/2005 1:41 pm

uh ... happy holidays

Don't worry baby oil rastlin' always makes X-Mas special ... Give me a couple of days to work up some fun


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
12/13/2005 1:46 pm

Hey, I think they are getting about 25K or more on the black market. Can't list it on eBay though.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
12/13/2005 4:02 pm

Bulge~

Small friggin’ world! I got a call today about a card I had with my old bank, likewise owing about a K on… tho on the other side, dammit! My bank got acquired by Bank of America, Boa for short (Apt, given what money-grubbing, gut-squeezers they are ), and when that happened I couldn’t pay online anymore.

Kinda fell thru the cracks, and I guess they’ve tried calling my cell and landline lately, tho never leaving a message. They’d come thru w/o any caller ID, and on the occasions I actually would pick up, there’d be a, “Please hold for a very important message.”

I don’t know about you, but I have better things to do with my daytime cell minutes than sit wasting them with my thumb firmly wedged between my cheeks…

Same sort of a deal as yours- they want it immediately paid off in full, tho they’ll do me the favour of splitting it into two payments…

Rat-Bastard fucktards!

Given the fine shine that put on my Holiday Spirit, while not specifically aimed at those spastic colons, I doubled up on today’s postage with Merry Fucking Christmas

Can’t go far wrong with a little Holiday vulgarity…

PS: Benefit to selling a kidney is it’ll take longer before you have to piss while getting pissed.

.

.

Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.



And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!

Lately...

.


DTduzDallas 50F

12/13/2005 4:24 pm

Email a photo-copied payment. Hey, you have proof you "sent" one. You can't help it if they lost it before it was deposited. **shrugs**

(Kids, don't try this at home, please)


sexymermaid6956 63F
26393 posts
12/13/2005 6:07 pm

awwwww...thats a tough one ..hugging you...it will work out...

[]

Seduce my mind and my body


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
12/13/2005 6:44 pm

I've learned to ignore them. Not a good thing, but it works for me.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 7:11 pm

Hey Helga,

Can I flog the kids?

Please??

Go on! I got myself this neat little flail for Christmas

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 7:13 pm

Hey saddle,

Yep... all too quickly we grow up and see Christmas for what it truly is

a money grabbing opportunity and foil wrapped pain in the arse

LOL


Kimmers777 106F

12/13/2005 7:53 pm

You're going to sell a kidney? Being kind of tight aren't you? I mean, you have two...

I'm just messing with ya! Bummer timing though. Along with the payment, send them a spoiled fruitcake.


weineroftheworld 66M

12/13/2005 8:00 pm

Just once I would love to call one of those collection agents and ruin his life. But the image I have burned in my mind is luke69iner and you 'rastlin in baby oil. It just ain't right.


mangomamiCT 42F

12/13/2005 8:27 pm

I didn't know what I had been missin !


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:44 pm

Ouch Saddle,

I remember hitting my thumb once

It was throbbing and huge!

No way I want to be thinking about a giant throbbing cock!


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:45 pm

Yeah Happy Holidays Luke!

oooh... I can hardly wait!!

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:46 pm

Yeah you're right Daph,

They came round and tried to arrest me.

Didn't even believe it was mine until I showed them!

bastards


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:48 pm

Mr P,

I can soooo relate to that. I swear to God that's probably what happened to me as well.

I very rarely if at all answer an unlisted number.

Fucktards!


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:49 pm

Bloody hell DT,

I wish I'd got that suggestion before I paid the fuckers!


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:51 pm

OK mermaid,

Just in case it doesn't...

can you keep hugging?


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:52 pm

LOL Wahine,

Now... that sort of carry on will just land you in the shit!

and you know it!

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:56 pm

LOL Kimmers,

I don't know if I'd even waste that on them.

Love to tho. Oh boy! If only I could get access to their baked bean sandwiches

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:57 pm

weiner you sick fucker!!!

LOL

mmmmm

Now you got me thinking too!

LOL

Luuuuuuuke?


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 8:58 pm

Hey Mango,

ummm... I have no idea what you've been missing either!


EyeCandy33333 44F
761 posts
12/13/2005 9:19 pm

What pressure it is trying to think up the perfect gifts to make each and everyone happy,someone handing you the money 2 weeks before Christmas(or in worse times not having the money), work your arse off cooking for everyone,shopping for all the food, cleaning up before everyone comes over and cleaning up after everyone leaves,-kids zooming through the presents like-more-more-more-give me- give me-give me.Then to stand there smiling as if you hadn't done a darn thing through it all!
Hey I have a good one-my cousin asked her nephew(he is about 9)what he wanted for Chistmas(so she could get him something he liked). He replied,"An axe". Now this just really rattled her-you know what on earth would he want with an axe-is that a typical response from a young boy? But it seems he really likes to go in the woods and chop small trees down-"whew"-well you never know what a kid is thinkng!
Bulgey you should of told them you're not home-lol!!!
T
I see smilies all the time:






LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
12/13/2005 10:10 pm

Kidney, FFS?

Hell no! I've go the solution! I'm pinping you out!

[post 170350]

I bet we can get AT LEAST $16 (USD! Not stupid NZ dollars...)

XOXO

-A


bulging_boy 49M

12/13/2005 11:04 pm

Hey Terrie,

You certainly do see smilies!

LOL

Good axe story

LOL


The_Wraith_1969 47M

12/13/2005 11:34 pm

I hear you there bulge! Just hang on to the most important organ! It is good at getting us men in trouble, but sometimes, it can get us back out!


2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
12/14/2005 12:59 am

You have credit?


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 2:19 am

Umm wraith?

I'm sure you know I keep it firmly in hand


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 2:21 am

2x,

I don't understand how either.

I'm guessing had they not got a hold of my... I'd be sayin no right now!

LOL

Wankers!


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
12/14/2005 3:25 am

Credit card companies are little better than ...doggie doo... no scratch that they are worse... i think u need to start a credit card company..send everyone that works for that crap company a card.. and harass their asses

Its good to be...ME


KC_JJ 53M

12/14/2005 4:08 am

Hey do the Maori's celebrate Xmas?

If not you might try the strategy of disowning your family and only keeping Maori's as friends. That should cut your Xmas costs by quite a bit.

And is it true that it's not safe to appear to be a Moslem over in Auzzieland now? It may have never been but the rumor is that maybe it just got a little worse.

Just trying to keep up on my downunderisms.

Hey, you never told if "hittin' the turps" is a usable phrase in Kiwiville!

But I also realize that I ask far too many questions. People usually thought I was a cop at parties as I was growing up.

But my curiosity ain't killed me yet!

KC_JJ

MMM [ MMM


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/14/2005 4:28 am

The pressure is there ill give you that
But so is the joy
The fun
The shopping
The giving
Visiting the crib at midnight
Carol singing
The atmosphere
I love it
I adore Christmas eve
My home is alive again

Now about your credit card...
Can you not pay off an amount and up your credit amount
I mean say your limit is 3000 well can you not up it to say 5000
just an Idea,
I know christmas is expensive..
Kids want so much
There is a psp out this year and its 355 euros and my son expects it !!!
Try not to worry
I hope it sorts out..

Another idea is
Your not a bad looking chap
Sell your body for a night
Shall we bid for you
Just trying to lighten the mood
love hugs and kisses
silky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
12/14/2005 6:10 am

Not the children, not the children!!

If you must flog and flail something, how about Lil' Hobbit??

*Leaves, extending the long, middle finger of friendship... slurp! *

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


sexymermaid6956 63F
26393 posts
12/14/2005 7:30 am

yes i will hug you tight...better yet send me an email with your adress and i will help...give me how many cildren and their ages and a list of what they want..i will see what i can do...

[]

Seduce my mind and my body


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:25 am

Jesus Blonde!

I thought you were gonna pimp me out for a minute...

Then I looked closer


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:29 am

Barb,

That's an excellent idea...

Of course the shit would hit the fan when they tried to *actually* use the card.

Oh well.


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:32 am

KC,

Yeah bro!

Everyone pretty much believes in everything down here. Well except for the religious fanatics who don't believe in anything.

I'm sure we got a couple of them around.

As far as Australia is concerned, being anything but an Australian is dangerous at the moment.

Yep... hittin the turps works here.

A Cop? Are you sure it wasn't the uniform?

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:35 am

A good idea silky except it wasn't a credit card.

It was a long forgotten gym membership.

The collection company don't give a rats ass about terms... that's for sure.

Oh boy! Carol Singing?

I *never* managed to get into that


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:37 am

Hey Helga,

No... I think lil' Hobbit has been flogged enough just lately!

LOL

*slurp*

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:39 am

Mermaid,

That's an amazingly selfless and generous offer.

*hugs* back to you


Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

12/14/2005 11:26 pm

I'm still looking around for the used organ that someone had for sale here? Is it well tuned? Much wear and tear? How much longer do you think it is good to play with, er....play?


bulging_boy 49M

12/14/2005 11:49 pm

Hey Sister,

This thing is in *mint* condition. Only used a few times and still has it's plastic wrapper. I sure as fuck hope it aint torn. Tho it nearly got broke a couple of times.

I reckon it's got heaps of life left in it! All it needs is a couple of shakes to get it back up and running.


Become a member to create a blog