Ok... now rinse and spit!  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
12/7/2005 10:53 pm

Last Read:
11/21/2006 10:51 pm

Ok... now rinse and spit!

Kids huh?

Dunno what it is that makes them say the sorts of things that would get you reported to social services...

All the fucking time!

I mean... It's not like I beat them... well... not much anyway... and not with a stick...

well... not often.

Maybe my kids inherited something from me... something like a broken gene perhaps?

See it was bathtime last night, and I was taking care of other things and was talking on the phone to a good friend, when there came some screaming from the bathroom.

This isn't uncommon. Anyone with kids will tell you that. Get more than one in close proximity to the others and fighting will inevitably start.

So fighting in the bath isn't new to me!

What was new... was the utterance that I walked in on.

I still had the phone to my ear, so the caller unfortunately heard *every* word.

I'll refer to them as numbers so it's easier than making names up.

Child 2 and child 3 were in the bath. Child 2 boy... child 3 girl. Got that?

I walk in to see child 3 crying and pointing at child 2 saying...

He peed in my mouth!

I'm like what the fuck?

So I asked the obvious questions...

Why do you think he peed in your mouth?

How on earth would he pee in your mouth?

Was your mouth open?

Why did you have your mouth anywhere near that?


The stuff kids come out with.

So he didn't pee in her mouth as it turned out!

Still... I made her brush her teeth. Twice!!

I'm only thankful the person I was talking to was laughing too hard to do anything like call the authorities.

God knows, I'd have struggled to explain that one!

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/7/2005 11:09 pm

Dude, they are tiny Bulges, what do you think they are gonna act like? Tiny Bardics? Oh good Lord on that one.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
12/8/2005 12:31 am

Kiwi, ya gotta keep knickers on those kids!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

DeepRiverDreamin 47F
46 posts
12/8/2005 1:06 am

That is just too funny. I'd have been to scared to ask any of those questions. There are some things you are just better off not knowing.

bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 2:39 am

True Saint,

I mean... what the fuck was I thinking?

Tiny Bardics? FFS Saint! Not around Daph!


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 2:41 am


Beans in his pee pee? BEANS?

Oh right! I getcha!

Backdoor and front door opened.

You'd think he'd realise


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 2:44 am


They were in the *bath*

In this country... most folk get all nakie when they wash.

That's why I hang around the womens showers

bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 3:02 am

Hiya Dreamin,

Man! I'm not saying I wasn't scared... I was crapping myself that he had!

What would you say to the ER admission nurse when you brought your child in vomiting?

Uhhh... she seems to have swallowed some... uhhh... urine

bardicman 50M

12/8/2005 6:48 am

Bulge - Arent all your kids over 18.......

I am not dead yet

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
12/8/2005 7:28 am

the apple doesnt fall far from the tree...or in your case, the nut.

this is why girl children are soooooo much easier...errr till later

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/8/2005 9:16 am

I just had a scarier thought. Tiny little ex-pats. Now THAT would be trouble.

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

12/8/2005 11:27 am

"Thank heaven for little girls" and boys! I love kids; the things they say and do are priceless. Even if horrifying and/or traumatizing at the moment. Thanks for sharing; that truly has made my day. No matter what happens to me today....I will keep thinking of you and saying to myself, "Well, it could be worse."

bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 2:58 pm

LOL Bard!


So what's yer point?


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 3:00 pm

Hiya SJ

The apple doesn't fall far from the nut?

What the fuck does that mean?

Is that some kind of american penis extension technique?


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 3:01 pm

Saint m'dear...

Stop thinking *now* please!

For all our sakes


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 3:06 pm

True Sister,

I don't think having someone pee in your mouth should really be the measuring stick for how good your day was though!


I mean... in Amsterdam for instance... you don't have a good day until someone pees in your mouth.

How good a day depends on how much it cost you for that!


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
12/8/2005 3:22 pm

Didn't your mum ever explain to you that when you have children they repay you for all you put your own mum through??? Jeez Bulge...looks like you're gonna be gray before they're 10 at this rate. Too bad the Jehovah's Witness (do you have those there?) weren't visiting at the moment...THAT would have been priceless.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

AlbertPrince 57M

12/8/2005 4:14 pm

Don't worry about it, there's no calories in pee

bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 5:34 pm

LOL Pixie,

Had they been visiting... I'd likely have peed in their mouths.


bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 5:35 pm


Weight Watchers eat yer heart out right?

I'm sure that would rival only my salmonella diet.


MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
12/8/2005 6:10 pm


Fer the Christ's sake, Bulge! Pay yer hot water bill already! Either that, or get the young uns a higher quality bubble bath!!!



Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



bulging_boy 49M

12/8/2005 7:11 pm

LOL P-man!

Thank God I don't have soap on a rope!


nedthebundler 56M/59F

12/8/2005 11:51 pm

Kids.....they do try us at times. Some days it's all you can do to stop lauching or crying, and tell them you love them. Hang on to those good memories....

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
12/9/2005 3:50 am

*still laughing at the thought*

I cant even comment, my eyes are tearing too much from laughing...


anchcpl4fun 40M/44F

12/9/2005 6:15 pm

when my oldest was 3 she walked in on daddy as he was leaving some co-ed shower time with mommy. she was supposed to be asleep and instead was just standing there as he opened the door. He got all emabarrassed and ran for the bed room. bein my kid of course she saunters into the bathroom ad says...mommy...Why does daddy have a tail on his butt??

That was a fun explanation, as soon as i could stop gasping for air.

SO my darling daughter decided to tell ANYONE who would listen that "MY daddy has a tail on his butt, and i know cuzz i saw it"
totally ignoring my explanation as to what it was, cuz the tail seemed so much cooler...............OY

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
12/10/2005 2:09 am

Woo Hoo there's beans in my pee pee too!!!

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bulging_boy 49M

12/10/2005 2:31 am

Thanks ned,

I fully intend to.

If not for myself... for the regailing of those stories on the night of their 21st... weddings...

well... anytime it'll cause them some embarrassment really!


bulging_boy 49M

12/10/2005 2:32 am


You should have been there!


bulging_boy 49M

12/10/2005 2:35 am

LOL anch,

Once they get something in their sweet little minds...

That's it!

I'd have left her with the tail concept personally


cumpig11111 52M
1 post
12/10/2005 2:43 am

well maybe its sick i know especially being married straight an still loves it after a black huge cock that i beg for and let it tear me open so wide i feel like i am passing out until the squirtin starts and i know its filthy and i love it more knowing i secretely will be so opposite and cum more than any woman makes me soon as i feel the hot thick nasty black cum starts running out of my ass as he watches closely and tells me that he ruined my tight little ass and i cum so much i scream for his cock to hurt me and fuck my ass like its for his cock to use anyway and evry single time he cums i love to take it inside me and even let him use it for all the cum he shoots every day for my hole secretely making my ass so wet and loose that i will always know by looking that a huge cock was tearing it open and lets me proudly show it to any cocks that like it and will never say no to every cum load that i can have for my hole that is begging for the huge cocks only as they will hurt me like a whore and not think about anything else but the asshole that is ready for cum as much as i can have and even let me have cum from strangers willing to shoot it in a cup to have it poured in my ass after a full cup so i can cum again even before i feel it filling up and pouring out and i need to have cum and let me show how i love it so much i will keep it in my ass as long as i can and never washing it until i have to for my wife to not feel it like a soaking pussy but no pussy ever gets as wet as my cumhole and as long as you love it and only want my hole for cumming in and using it as your personal hot ass to take all cum as i beg you to never cum anywhere else except my ass and every black cock that comes for that ass is ready to cum and thats the whole reason for spreading my ass and hurting it and letting me beg for your cum all the time and they love it more than pussy and always call me at work to make me tell them i will meet anywhere they want for the cum that i beg for but not as much since they both call every day and usually twice each and have my ass so wet i never feel it as deep as them ripping my pants down and no time is wasted before the cocks are all the way and telling me how good i serve and making me know that they give me cum that is a reward for taking huge cocks so deep and even rough and never saying to stop as long as i tell them to please tell me that the sexy asshole that is so hot and made for huge cocks is going to get what i love as long as i beg them to cum in my hole and make so much shoot out that they say its for me as long as i try to keep it from all pouring out even making me plug my hole with a monter black dildo that is so fat i cant even take it until they force it in with my soaking hole that stretches so wide they make me look in the mirror and tell me that no ass can ever take the cock the way i do and i love it so much i tell them i need it so never tell anyone except for black cocks who are only into cumming inside a white slut ass and keeping it amongst only huge black cocks that want a hole that will take evry drop of cum from every cock that wants it as long as they can handle the hottest ass ever to take cocks that are huge and black and no cocks under 9 inches and fatter than 4 even as fat as the 7 inch round that i never thought would be able to have my ass the way the cocks do and everyone is rough and even it and all of them cum at least 3 and some 8 as they cum fills me for a while and then it isso full it pours out and i show them what they did to my ass as i tell them that i love it as much as them and cum for them so i get fucked so hard i see stars and then i cum so hard i scream like uch a whore they put cock in my mouth to quiet me from screaming so loud like a slut that is filthy and cock crazed and proud for black cocks to show me them as i tell them that i want it so badly i will tell them to please use me and treat me like such a pig you never forget the whore who secretely loves cum from only black guys with huge cocks and uncut will make me beg them to give me cum for a week straight to show how much i love it and beg him to please allow me to have every singl drop of cum so i can have my ass filled up with so much i will be waiting forr the m to call me after work as i tell them that i love it that i gave my ass so good they wanted it so badly they called me soon as they can get to me and even telling mee that i might never have to worry about having black cokcs cumming in my hole cause they will never stop as long as i have the pride to tell them exactly what i want and only if they want it like i know they do and i beg them to take me away for a week to bahamas and let me walk aroung in panties with cum soaked in my ass and every cock that wants will have it for cum to pump and i will cum so much that they will stay hard as they keep fucking the ass that they love and promise to fill every day multplie times and always knowing that the ass is now the personal property of black cocks to fuck and hurt and fill with cum and sometimes i can beeg for it in my mouth to keep it inside me even as it driups out and soaks my wifes slutty gstring panties that the black monsterr dicks love to see when they bend me over and start my ass until i stop screaming for them to stop and i tell them that i am so filthy that i want them to not stop and hurt it if they want and tear it open like they do and cum so much i have never been so turned on as when i felt the cum shoot for 30 seconds like a fountain and then they kept it inside and told me to get ny asshole ready for so much fluid that i will know that its piss and i will like it or never have cum in me so i actually cum so hard i am embarrassed when he pulls it out and its pissing so much i feel my moutrh fill up so fast i tell him to put the rest back in my ass and i cum again as he slaps me ass hard and calls me the filthy cumhole that every cock loves to fill and he loves it as much as i do cause he cums 4 times in a row never pulling it out except for my mouth to taste how filthy black cock tastes when its inside an ass all night and smeells so dirty i almost puke as i swallow it all down my throat and tell them i cant help it i never wanted so much cock in my life and they usually keep me for 12 hours or lately they call in my office for me and tell me that i will be sick from all the cum that will fill me and never let anyone else know so they always have my hole to cum in as i love more than i can tell them cause they think after cumming 14 times combined in 10 hours that i am done but thefact that they leave and i am so wet i call up some other black guys who i meet on the internet and tell the mexactky what my ass needs and they always know just how to cum so much as i know they love my hole so much i tell them if they want they can have it anytime as long as they tell me that they love it and want it so i can be slutty pig for big black cocks and none other not even huge white cocks even if its as big as the one i sucked before after telling him that its white and it cant cum in my asshole cause its only for black but i wanted to feel it in my mouth and tell him that i will suck it so good that i will let him cum in my mouth and swallow it so good as i tell him that he can watch me take black cock and even fuck my mouth and i will swallow it as much as he wants even eventually taking his white cum in my asshole so i can get and abused by the black coks thatwant nme to feel punsihed for being a slut and taking the white cum because i coulndt stop choking on it even as i swallowed the hot cum that was different then the filthy nasty cum that is only found in black cocks that will give me the cum that tastes so dirty that i love it and cum evertime its in my mouth or ass and that makes it more dirty and they always fuck me so hard and start to really hurtmy ass asthey tell me thatthey are so turned on by watching me cum all over myself and spreading my assole open showing it to them and telling them to cum in it so much its soaked for days

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
12/10/2005 5:45 pm



Interesting comment from cumpig11111.

I didnt you had a big black cock? Why didn't you tell us?


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
12/10/2005 5:56 pm

I'm curious...
did anyone make it through the whole comment?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

bulging_boy 49M

12/11/2005 2:19 pm

Hey cumpig!

I'm picking up that you like black cock?

bulging_boy 49M

12/11/2005 2:20 pm


I don't have a black cock!

The lights musta been off

oh dear

bulging_boy 49M

12/11/2005 2:22 pm


Yeah I did. I struggled and struggled,

finally my perseverence paid off and I got to the end.



bulging_boy 49M

12/11/2005 2:25 pm

Hey Passionate,

Yup... it's my greatest fear!

They do come out with some pearlers


bulging_boy 49M

12/11/2005 2:28 pm


You're not supposed to inspect!

any corn?

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
12/11/2005 5:09 pm

Ah hell NO 1hot...I fucking scrolled down so I didn't have to look at that nastya ssed picture.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

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