Merry Christmas my ARSE!  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
5/27/2006 6:05 am

Last Read:
5/29/2006 10:04 pm

Merry Christmas my ARSE!


I'm an idiot.

Yeah, Yeah... I'm not telling you lot anything you don't already know.

Actually the reason I'm an idiot is because of a present I bought my lovely lady.

Seeing as she was here for Christmas, I figured... it would be rude not to, so I hunted high and low for something that would appeal to her and serve as a reminder of her time here, me... stuff like that.

Did I say I hunted high and low? I knew what I wanted to get her and do you think I could find it?

No!

Fucks sake I'm thinking. This is New Zealand!! If anywhere should have these things it should be us!

Actually to be fair, there were a lot of them, but they were tacky and badly made.

Only the best for my girl.

Eventually I found one that pleased me.

It was soft and cuddly and when you squeezed it, it let out a bunch of chirps and squawks.

It was infact a Kiwi.

She loved it. I loved it.

It lay on the bed with us and we all danced merrily. It shared our jokes and we laughed like crazy love struck kids.

Until she went home.

I remember the moment my heart tore in half as her plane left the runway.

It felt like forever until I could see her online again, and when I did?

Kiwi was there too.

Now I'm not entirely sure what happened or when, but over a fairly short period of time, I found I started to hate that fucking thing.

Everytime I saw it with her, I swear it was mocking me. Laughing. Teasing.

She's with me-e, she's with me-e

I tell ya, hate isn't a strong enough word. I wanted that thing destroyed. I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it apart.

It got to the point where if I was teleported into her room, I'd rip it apart and then wrap my arms around her. In *that* order.

Fortunately the relationship seems to have been restored somewhat. I'm pretty sure it's because he was left back in the States when she was here the last time.

Take that you furry litte fuck! Who's yer daddy now?

So now that he's been put well and truly in his place, I feel more at peace. We had our pissing competition and I won.

So while's all good in the cuddly toy department again, I'm still an idiot for giving her a present that I would eventually hate with such venom.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
5/27/2006 8:48 am

The kiwi only stayed in NY because he didn't want to see you.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/27/2006 9:42 am

Kiwi sitting on a bed in NY: "Ha, just wait for round two, human. In another month...HA HA HA HA HA"

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


boydcounty 67M

5/27/2006 9:46 am

I think you're a bit threated by the bird. After all, it has a long beak and it likes to probe holes. If she's just using the kiwi as a pet, and not a hole prober, you have no problems. If she is using it in a manner to which you are not pleased, just let me know and I'll go over in your stead and make a kiwi casserole....

-boydcounty-


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
5/27/2006 10:33 am

Awww poor kiwi... all he was trying to do is keep me company as you had told him to do and look what thanks he gets.

Sure, he usually snuggles up between my boobs, but he was just mimicking you.

And so what if he nibbles on my ear all the time; you know kiwis have poor eyesight- he probably thinks its a grub or something.

And he doesn't get fresh with me... much. Plus it's difficult to make out with a kiwi because of the beak...

Waaaaaaakwakwkawkawkawkawk.

Blooobloobloobloobloobloobloobloobloobloob.



A


mm0206 68F
7767 posts
5/27/2006 11:24 am

lmao...
its an inanimate object...
we hope

its nice to have someone that you feel that close to ...
it makes me believe...

...m.


chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
5/27/2006 12:59 pm

The next gift needs to be a stuffed ferret - that'll take care of the little bastard for good.


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 4:53 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    The kiwi only stayed in NY because he didn't want to see you.
Yeah... well!

I didn't want to see him *more*!

I reckon he knew better as well.

The fucker!


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 4:57 pm

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Kiwi sitting on a bed in NY: "Ha, just wait for round two, human. In another month...HA HA HA HA HA"
Oh yeah!

Bring it on you little furry muthafukka!

I've read ahead, and he's goin DOWN!

not in a good way either


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 5:00 pm

    Quoting boydcounty:
    I think you're a bit threated by the bird. After all, it has a long beak and it likes to probe holes. If she's just using the kiwi as a pet, and not a hole prober, you have no problems. If she is using it in a manner to which you are not pleased, just let me know and I'll go over in your stead and make a kiwi casserole....
Threatened? Hell yeah!

At the time, I was threatened by her freaking blankets.

As much as I'd like to take you up on that Boyd, I like our relationship the way it is, and I'd hate to end up hating you like Kiwi

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 5:03 pm

    Quoting LIBlonde97:
    Awww poor kiwi... all he was trying to do is keep me company as you had told him to do and look what thanks he gets.

    Sure, he usually snuggles up between my boobs, but he was just mimicking you.

    And so what if he nibbles on my ear all the time; you know kiwis have poor eyesight- he probably thinks its a grub or something.

    And he doesn't get fresh with me... much. Plus it's difficult to make out with a kiwi because of the beak...

    Waaaaaaakwakwkawkawkawkawk.

    Blooobloobloobloobloobloobloobloobloobloob.



    A
Maybe so babe.

He still overstepped the mark as far as I'm concerned. When he started gloating, I knew I'd created a monster.

Now that monster needs to go back to where it came from.


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 5:09 pm

    Quoting mm0206:
    lmao...
    its an inanimate object...
    we hope

    its nice to have someone that you feel that close to ...
    it makes me believe...

    ...m.
Seriously it did happen, so you really *can* believe.

Damn I'm hoping the fucker is inanimate too!


bulging_boy 49M

5/27/2006 5:12 pm

    Quoting chasingfun27:
    The next gift needs to be a stuffed ferret - that'll take care of the little bastard for good.
Chasing, I read ahead and couldn't wait to get to the comment.

Mate, that's a fucking *brilliant* idea.

One stuffed ferret coming up!


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
5/27/2006 9:48 pm

It is your own fault...best intentions and all...but how does a guy compete with a Kiwi??

lustytaurus


bulging_boy 49M

5/28/2006 2:31 am

    Quoting LustyTaurus:
    It is your own fault...best intentions and all...but how does a guy compete with a Kiwi??

    lustytaurus
Not very well when he's 18000 miles away.

Still the playing field will be well and truly leveled in June.

Can you say payback?


bulging_boy 49M

5/28/2006 2:38 pm

    Quoting rm_valleyrat4:
    Sent you a link in your IM. You HAVE to watch it.
LOL

I'll bear in mind never to suck flies.

I appreciate the public service announcement.


HBowt2 58F

5/28/2006 4:37 pm

awwwwwww that was so sweet.....it really was.....you got jealous of a stuffed kiwi.....you got it soooooooooooooooo bad.....


bulging_boy 49M

5/28/2006 8:01 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    awwwwwww that was so sweet.....it really was.....you got jealous of a stuffed kiwi.....you got it soooooooooooooooo bad.....
Totally.

Not that it's a bad thing.


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
5/28/2006 8:14 pm

Is it just me, or is the beek shaped a little like a clit tickler on a vibrator?

Now that's got you wondering what he's been up to doesnt it!

I am so very happy for you both (you and Blonde not you and Kiwi!)

Take care,

Frangi x


bulging_boy 49M

5/28/2006 9:35 pm

    Quoting frangipanigal:
    Is it just me, or is the beek shaped a little like a clit tickler on a vibrator?

    Now that's got you wondering what he's been up to doesnt it!

    I am so very happy for you both (you and Blonde not you and Kiwi!)

    Take care,

    Frangi x
Be the longest clit tickler I've ever seen Frangi,

No. My fear is that his beak is bigger than me in both length and girth.


FeistySyn 51F

5/29/2006 9:24 pm

"Take that you furry litte fuck! Who's yer daddy now?"

oh

my

gawd!!!



Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?
~~~~~


bulging_boy 49M

5/29/2006 10:04 pm

    Quoting FeistySyn:
    "Take that you furry litte fuck! Who's yer daddy now?"

    oh

    my

    gawd!!!


Feisty!!!!

Oh yeah! He knows... the bitch!


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