Looks like rain  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
11/4/2005 1:04 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Looks like rain

I'm tired

or depressed

I don't know which.

I've been sitting reading stuff and feeling rather underwhelmed. A little devoid of anything emotional.

I'm not sure I truly understand the reasons for this... or even pretend to.

All I know at the moment is that I'm travelling through my own little dark cloud.

I don't know where it came from, and I don't know how big it is... I sure as hell don't know how long it's gonna take for me to get through it.

But, I would like to acknowledge those people who commented in my previous post. Thanks! It meant a lot to know that you guys kinda appreciate my literary dribble. There is more mindless shite there folks... I'm just having real trouble finding the energy to get it out.

Who knows... maybe that *was* the start of my decent into this void I'm in now. I don't.

I guess... (using this post as some kind of therapy) it's probably some missing feeling of being wanted, appreciated, cared for.

You know, I read 5ers post about DT and that made me smile. Saint and Efil... also. Shit! Even Trav and Evil Dr Phil are an item.

This doesn't make me jealous. Not in the slightest. In fact I have to be rather analytical about how I feel in order to feel.

Maybe I am just tired.

Tired of trudging along alone. Tired of propping myself up. Tired of making myself laugh. Tired of being tired.

I guess in all honesty... I'm tired of not finding the person that's going to accept me for who I am. The person that will share my likes and dislikes. The one who won't cringe everytime I tell a shit joke and laugh.

It's a tall order I think to myself.

But then I see 5er and DT, Saint and E, Trav and Evil Dr Phil, and I think... well if they can... surely I can too!

But then I look at my life again and the work and the kids kinda jump out. 3 businesses and 4 kids.

Who the fuck is going to be able to overcome those obstacles?

It's not like I'm worth it most of the time either.

Oh well... I'm sure I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

At least I hope it is.

It reminds me of that joke.

It's either the light at the end of the tunnel... or a train.

I promise to try and be in a better mood for my next post. I'm sure this is only temporary anyway

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
11/4/2005 9:42 am

Good Lord man, with three businesses and 4 kids do you ever have time to sleep, much less get laid?

BTW, I have it on good authority that Evil Dr. Phil likes to ice pick Trav.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

AlbertPrince 58M

11/4/2005 11:50 am

Wow, how low can you go? Pull yourself togethere man.

Daphne is right - lose the kids, ditch the jobs you'll feel much better?

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
11/4/2005 7:41 pm

shit! just when I was thinking you & I should be "an item" it turns out you're exhausted?
I have the worst timing...

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
11/4/2005 7:42 pm

umm I forgot to ask..what exactly is "an item"?

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/5/2005 1:47 am

You are NOT alone, get ahold of me as soon as you can, please.

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 5:56 am

Hey Daphne.

Short answer is no. Long answer is sometimes.

I have it on good authority also that Trav likes to dick break Evil Dr Phil

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 5:57 am


I love the way you just cut straight through the bullshit.

Now the kids are in the orphanage and the businesses are shut down... boy! I feel lighter already.

Thanks mate

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 5:58 am


You really shouldn't tease tired depressed guys like that. You know I've fallen for your mind and heart already

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 6:00 am

and I have long forgotten what an item is...

I only know that DT and 5er, Saint and Efil, Evil Dr Phil and Trav are all one.


five_speed 41M

11/5/2005 10:44 am

hey man, I know what you mean about being tired of propping yourself up and being tired of being tired. Even with things going well with DT, I still feel that way alot. I have found that no one else on earth can make you happy. Other people can help you be happy, but only you can make you happy.

In this regard we are very similar and also exact opposites. In one sense, we are nearly identical in that we are cerazier than shit house rats. I never know what is going to come out of my mouth until I say it, and it is often crude, rude, or strange. I never know what I am going to do until I do it, but it is often illegal or at least ill-advised. I think we share these traits to a degree, and it takes a special kind of person to match our mental wavelength. We seem weird, confusing, childish, or simply impossible to many people.

Whereas you have kids and three jobs, I have no job and never want kids. Totally opposite, but a situation that still makes me very undesirable to many women.

The point I am trying to get around to making is that there are women for awesome freaks like us. I was lucky enough to find one, and I think you will too, but even if you do, you may find it is not enough to knock you out of your funk. You might have to make a few changes. It could be that something you are doing or not doing is making you miserable. I was horrified when I got fired, but I think now that it may have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'll stop talking out of my arse now. I hope I farted something that helps.

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 4:01 pm

I would Saint... but apparently you are booked up solid for the next 3 lifetimes

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 4:06 pm

seeing as I'm still a generous guy at heart Sil,

If you send me an address I'm happy to bottle one up and send it to ya!

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 4:14 pm

thanks for the words of comfort 5er

'Shit house rats' man that just cracks me up thinking about those cerazy bastards.

I've never been called an awesome freak before.

Cheers mate!

bulging_boy 49M

11/5/2005 8:12 pm

That's what happens when the sunshine disappears nikki

I feel it coming back tho

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/7/2005 10:49 pm

Sorry I'm late getting to this

Remember when the universe gives you lemons make lemonade

Yeah right

If the universe gives you lemons tell the universe to go fuck itself

Who the fuck wants lemonade

Go out and get a real drink with some alcohol in it

Next day anything will seem better than being hung over so see your life is getting better already

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bulging_boy 49M

11/8/2005 2:40 am


The best pick me up I've heard in a loooooong time.

cheers mate!


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