I'm a working on a chain gag... workin downtown...  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
11/10/2005 4:00 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I'm a working on a chain gag... workin downtown...


Email...

Greatest thing since sliced bread or worst thing invented since the telephone?

I love email. Really... couldn't get by without it. I email everyone. I even email myself. If Jesus had an email address I might even consider Christianity.

Well... consider it anyway!

Business loves emails... business hates spam... but I already did that one.

One of the other things about email that I really hate are the joke emails.

Not the Jokes... but those ones... you know...

The Chain Letter!

I fucking hate chain letters. Honestly. I also hate those goddam girly True Friend emails.

You wanna be a friend? Don't send me that shit. Ever!

I replied to my Mum a while back with Don't send me that shit again.

I just can't be done with it. Who fucking cares how pretty the babies are or how soulful the puppies look. It's all just contrived caring.

And the ever grating... you are a true friend. Send this to all your true friends. If you get it back? You have a circle of friends.

Fuck Off! You get it back? You have a circle of Losers! Know what else? Yep. You are a sad, sad bastard.

Of course that's just my opinion. You might not be. But that's what it says to me. Not because I dont' care. I do care. I just prefer not to be told what to care about, and made to feel guilty for not passing it on.

The other ones that piss me off are the ones that have some magnanamous organisation willing to pay to have some poor unknown fuckers heart sewn back into his body. For every hundred emails you send... they donate 5 cents to his cause.

Brilliant! I'm surprised he hasn't been on telly drumming up support. Or the blind kid with some incurable disease! Yep... another 5 cents.

People who start these chains are parasites of hope. They dupe honest people into thinking this is real. They make people care about a figment of someones imagination.

For what!

So they can see how quickly their email spreads. So they can see how gullible people are.

Noone is going to get 5 cents or 5 dollars for every email sent.

Get Real!

It's a scam. To take your concerns and waste them. To take your time and waste that. To take bandwidth and server resources and waste those too!

If it sounds too good to be true. Chances are it is! Just because the email says Bill Gates will donate money for every email sent, doesn't make it true.

Nothing is for nothing.

Unless it's a kicking for sending me shit like that. You send me that? I'll kick your arse.

For Free! Guaranteed.

bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 9:44 am

Nooo Sil!

You did good. That is exactly the kind of mind mongering I'm talking about.

bad sex fairy? Fuuuuuuuuuuuck Off

LOL


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
11/10/2005 9:47 am

I have a friend that sends me the technical lifesavers emails. The best one I remeber was when you are 3000 miles away and lock your keys in your car, just use your cell phone to call home and have someone there press the little electronic unlock thingy next to the phone while you hold your cell by the door lock. You don't know how hard it was for me to explain to her that is NOT how those things work.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 10:38 am

Ohhh dear Daphne,

Oh Dear!

LOL


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

11/10/2005 2:15 pm

I hate chain mails too,

the messages with them are annoying

forward this on within so many working days

Dont break the chain or else..

kinda scary

Cool blogg

silky


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 3:10 pm

I know silky I know.

ummm not the cool blog thing. Thanks for that!

wow!

I meant the shite do it or else face the consequences.

I'd like to press reply and have the originator get a king sized jolt in the ass


MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
11/10/2005 3:24 pm

Bulge~

AMEN, Brother! Testify!!!

I know they mean well, but to forward some dreck that some stranger wrote numerous iterations ago means less to me than a third cousin twice removed from my x's family.

Ya wanna prove the depth of your friendship? Don't waste my time or email storage space with that shit- all I'll do is delete it unread, and get decidedly annoyed with you!

btw, Excellent Post. I think I'll forward it to everyone in my Address book with a dire warning that if they don't forward it along to everyone in their Address Book within 15 seconds of reading it; wretched little Rchq, a blind Zimbabwean child will not only lose his birthday, but also his one opportunity to buy a vowel, Bill Gates will double his income,, and Mother Theresa will rise from the grave wielding a katana and personally shave whatever pets live with them within an inch of thier skins...

Yep. That oughta do it!

.

Delightedly no longer having to put my Blog link here. That was just too freakin' much work! Hey! Wait a freakin’ second...

.

Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.



And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!

Lately...

.


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 5:13 pm

LM @ the vowel

Hey!

The fucker stole mine!

RAchOq... come back here with those!

No worries... I'll catch him at the wall.


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
11/10/2005 5:20 pm

psssttt c'mere
i have a chain mail i wanna share.

is this the first of 100? does this post count?


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
11/10/2005 5:24 pm

Bulge...check your email...i just sent you one with pretty puppies and a be my friend survey...hope you like it.


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 5:54 pm

SJ,

I said a chain post... not a chain mail.

No this one doesn't count. Start again and try to be inconspicuous.

hmmmmm

maybe sign in as Trav?


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 5:57 pm

Hi Bella!

Yep sure gimmee a sec, I'll just stop what I'm doing and go che...

Heyyy!

If that email doesn't have the pretty puppies I want to see, you'd better bring that ass of yours over here!

disclaimer: As post owner Bulging_Boy is completely within his rights to change the arse kicking to something more appropriate - and pleasing


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
11/10/2005 6:51 pm

which do you want me to do..be inconspicuous? or sign in as trav?
cant do both at the same time ya know


bulging_boy 49M

11/10/2005 8:12 pm

LOL SJ

Neither can he!


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/10/2005 11:14 pm

You realize the next time I get one of those sappy emails I'm sending it to you like a hundred times and I'm going to be giggling my ass off each time I press send.


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


tillerbabe 55F

11/11/2005 12:09 am

I just peed in my "knickers"!!!! LMAO! (my dogs are looking at me like I have lost my mind...)

I love u!


bulging_boy 49M

11/11/2005 3:33 am

Luke,

Pain is obviously your friend!

LOL


bulging_boy 49M

11/11/2005 3:34 am

tillerbabe!

I'm not gonna tell you what I've done in mine now!



not that I wear knickers


AlbertPrince 57M

11/11/2005 9:35 am

Chain mail huh? They swore by it in the Middles Ages


bulging_boy 49M

11/11/2005 10:40 am

I'm hoping it's a chain mail bodice SJ wants to share Prince

I've heard they're really hot


HORNYVIKING722 44M
1023 posts
11/11/2005 9:43 pm

Bulge, I tried once already to apologize for this thing I did on other blogs in your post Happy Birthday Gene Pool ,

it's this ....Now so that you don't get bad luck, you must complete this chain letter by going to jakblack36 and wishing him a happy birthday.Hornyviking722 failed to do this and got honest all the sudden. [blog Woodstockhippy] ignored it and lost his happy and charming demeaner. travelingintexas did not do this and was aflicted with ridiculously small penis size. Don't let the misfortune spread.

Now I'm the wank causing all the problems, sorry if this was what you were refering to

and Albert, I responded to your monotary recompense question, sir. You'll be happy to read it has been taken care of.Go back to [post 136556]


bulging_boy 49M

11/12/2005 9:37 am

LOL Viking,

No... it wasn't *really* you. You can relax. JakBlack huh?

mi mi mi miiiii. Happy Birthday... right off I go


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