How high will love go  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
1/4/2006 7:25 pm

Last Read:
6/17/2006 6:28 am

How high will love go


Well... everything is good with the world. She got back safe and sound despite a bit of jetlag and uhhh... ummm....

Ahhhh fuckit! Who am I kidding? Geeez it sucks being half a world apart.

While I get used to this unfading pain, I thought I'd distract myself by illustrating just how much this woman means to me.

Ya see... I hate heights.

Oh God! Do I ever hate heights. My palms go dry... I feel the blood drain from my body and collect in my sphincter.

Really. I'm useless. Heights freak the stuffing outta me.

One of the landmarks in Auckland is our Sky Tower a marvellous piece of modern day engineering. Just a shame it's built up, not down.

Most cities have them. A fuck off thing that takes ya about a lifetime to get up to the top in a high speed lift.

Hmmmm... Or maybe that's just how it feels.

Anyway. I don't know if it's just here, but the fuckers that built this thing decided to add a bit of flair to it.

So... as you go up. They have these windows beside the elevator door. Floor to ceiling panels of glass. Just so while you make your way to the top, you can watch your progress as you climb ever upwards.

Fuck me. I used to be ok with that.

Not this time. See when I went up before, I could rest against the back of the lift and be fairly relaxed about the window.

Not this time.

Ohhh Fuck! Not this time!

See... in between then and now... those heartless fuckers decided that too many people enjoyed the ride. So what did they decide to do?

How about a fucking glass panel in the floor of the fucking lift.

Unbelievable! What the fuck? Why???

That's pretty much all I could say as I clung to the internal rail and sobbed as we went up. I couldn't look out... I couldn't look down. As we climbed higher and higher... it felt like we were gaining speed and the lift was leaving the tower, arcing out towards oblivion.

I looked at the faces of the people and wondered if they felt these were their last minutes as well.

Finally against all my fears. It stopped. The doors opened, and we casually walked out.

By casually I mean that everyone walked slowly... except me. I somehow felt that gap between the lift and the observation area was going to suck me down... so I kind of jumped over it and proceeded to press myself flat against the internal wall.

I know people were staring at me. But I didn't care.

I was like that guy that walks down the street with the sign around my neck saying The World Is Nigh!

Oh yeah. LiBlonde watched me as I hung onto the wall mounted rubbish bin and suppressed her laughter. Bless Her!

Then she left me there as she proceeded to take photos from the viewing area. I watched in horror as she made her way to the almost full height windows. I tried to cry out to her... but all I could manage was a muted peep.

To make matters worse. The wanker designers also built glass floor panels in as well... giving the foolhardy yet another opportunity to meet the Reaper.

Not me though. No fucking way.

I inched my way around the internal wall structure occasionally glancing out and thinking "wow, that's a nice view"... "oh god... I'm gonna die"

LiBlonde asked me a few times if I wanted to leave, but I refused. I wanted her to get as much from this as she could. She snapped photo after photo as she made her way around. She even walked on the glass panels.

Despite my unheard screams.

Fucks sake. There was even a fuckwit who jumped from the top.

Can you believe they pay to do that?

I'd just eat more fibre. Damned sure if I had problems with constipation... doing that... I'd rip myself a new arse as it fired out.

It'd probably hit the tower and smash through the supporting structures causing it to fall.

Oh yeah! That's my kinda luck.

You know there's another two observation platforms above the place where we were.

The sky deck and a little place you have to climb up to. Outside. You climb up inside the bottom part of the antennae and out onto a little ring deck. My ring would be so fucking big at that point I'd probably end up with the whole tower up my arse!

No way in hell. No way. No fucking how. Would I *ever* do that. I would have my hands clamped so fucking tightly on the railings they'd have to amputate to get me down.

I'd be in constant fear of the wind blowing me off.

And as I fell screaming... arms flailing... I'd be shouting... Fuck you Sky Tower. Fuck you!! I knew this would happen!

So I'm kinda glad that when we bought our tickets at the bottom LiBlonde suggested we just stick to the main observation deck.

By the time she was ready to go, I swear the tower was swaying. I felt green and my legs were wobbling.

Oh Christ!

There's that fucking lift with the glass fucking floor again.

What IS it with these people?

At least she knows how much she means to me now... after taking her up there... and nearly having a heart attack.

There's no fucking way I'd do that for just anyone. I'd even tell the Reaper to fuck the hell off!

I only wish I was strong enough to rip that fucker out and shove it up the arse of the designer. Here buddy! Merry Christmas!


Now, while I regain my composure, those of you who haven't already stumbled across this guy... go do it now. [blog ATLNoonerBoy] he's well worth a read if you like all things good.

Oh yeah!

That picture is one of the ones she took of the glass floor panels. ooooh... I feel faint again.

bardicman 50M

1/4/2006 7:56 pm


I'd just eat more fibre. Damned sure if I had problems with constipation... doing that... I'd rip myself a new arse as it fired out


I am not dead yet

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/4/2006 8:00 pm

Heights freak the stuffing outta me.

Would that be Stove Top?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

saddletrampsk 54F

1/4/2006 8:35 pm

As for Nooner..I know him, he rocks big time

As for heights I am shit-scared also..I always think if I get too close to the edge I will uncontrollably throw myself over..even my latest horse took some getting used to riding as he is very, very tall..and I agree that love makes us conqueor our fears in some ways..when I was first going with my hsuband 20 years ago he raced stock cars and I couldn't he will let me drive in the odd event and he can't

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
1/4/2006 9:22 pm

LOL...ARE you scared of heights, our little bulgy? Awww...isn't that cute? Just don't take the little bulgies up there so you have to chase them down


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

slidein2meplz 62F
1994 posts
1/4/2006 10:12 pm

I tried to cry out to her... but all I could manage was a muted peep.
so funny!

would that be like little bo peep...who's lost her sheep....baaaaaa.


~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

Kimmers777 106F

1/4/2006 10:39 pm

Oh my Dear! You're going to love the helicopter rides passing over hill after hill!

Every cool pocket of air causes the thing to drop ten feet while your guts shift sideways!

You are so going to love visiting here!

bulging_boy 49M

1/4/2006 11:17 pm

Bard... you should try it.


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
1/4/2006 11:50 pm

Bulge, I know how it is to fear something like that. It's a very real terror to the person experiencing it and I regonize that. To us, however. it's friggin' hysterical. Sorry.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
1/5/2006 12:03 am

Hey! I've just had a cool idea! How about you and LiBlonde tie the knot at the top of the Sky Tower? Now THAT would be commitment!!


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:40 am

Not until they put it in a box and mark it Stove Top Stuffing Daph!


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:42 am

LOL saddle!

I'm not saying I conquered it... I just supressed it long enough to get up there


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:49 am

only once fantasia,

never and I mean never again will I take those little spastics up there!

They were all over those glass panels in the floor like a rash!

Fucks Sake!

I don't know how many times I died that day!

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:50 am

Little Bo Peep?

FFS Slide!


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 1:01 am


You have to be fucken kidding me!

as IF

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 4:41 am

That idea is sooo cool Helga,

my nuts have shrunk!

bardicman 50M

1/5/2006 6:01 am

Bulge... When I get there.. You and I stay on the ground and send everyone else up...

I am not dead yet

rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/5/2006 7:59 am

awww bulg, I so can sympathize with you, I am also afraid of heights...I have been in a hellicopter, it was fun....anyway.... as I am reading this and feeling your terror, I was eating some scrambled eggs, yep you made this person almost spit them on her monitor. roflao or spitting eggs on monitor from laughing...LOL

Wow that is LOVE, I am telling you right now, 18 years married to my Sprky and I WOULD IN NO WAY DO THAT! Even thinking about you. Nope, nope, are one gutsy guy. Oh my heaven, LOL

hugs and smiles

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/5/2006 8:50 am

Dude, the whole thing about going up on something that high is to spit over the side jsut so you can watch it fall. You can't do that holding onto the garbage can 15 feet from the railing. FFS!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/5/2006 10:31 am

Personally, I would have included that photo of you in the Sky Tower for this post....but, then again, you do kind of need this particular photo as a frame of reference!

p.s. Jeez, I love your fuckin' posts! I've never even heard your voice, but somehow I can just hear the inflection and nuances! lol!

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:47 pm


That's ok... laugh at my shame!


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:49 pm

It's a deal Bard!

And we'll laugh like maniacs when they come down looking like ghosts


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:54 pm

I don't know if I was that scared Trav!


I was probably more so!

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 12:57 pm

Hey bct,

Now eggs on the screen?

I would like to have seen that!


bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 1:02 pm


I can assure you that had I got to the edge...

My body wouldn't have been able to produce any spit!

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 1:45 pm

Hey Sister,

Shhhh! FFS... noone knows about that photo!

I promise next time I ring, I'll speak... but it's very difficult at times,

and all I can manage is the heavy breathing

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
1/5/2006 1:49 pm

I'm with you bulgy...not sure if there's a man in the world I'd ever love enough to do that with. Rollercoasters & Ferris Wheels do that to me too...makes my whole body shake uncontrollably. See...I'm starting to break out in a cold sweat just thinking of going where you went. What a special gift you gave her.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

bulging_boy 49M

1/5/2006 2:05 pm

Oh I didn't give her that Pixie!

I excused myself shook it out and flushed!


panda_moanium 47F  
195 posts
1/5/2006 7:54 pm

in the midst of all this fear and self-absorbtion
this seems to be the only place to track you down lately
a gentle reminder from gold and I - answer ya feckin ph

oh and happy new year

TzarsAmuseChant 41M
2854 posts
1/5/2006 10:26 pm

i hate heights too. you must be in love, mate. good for you both!

AlbertPrince 58M

1/6/2006 3:42 am

Apparently a team of scientists have worked for years for a cure for this fear of looking through glass.

Finally they came with solution ~ close your eyes.

AlbertPrince 58M

1/6/2006 3:43 am

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

tillerbabe 56F

1/6/2006 3:54 am

I was afraid of heights when I joined The Fire Department. I overcame it by one simple fact... I was told "Don't be afraid..just RESPECT it.." We have the Space Needle here in Seatltl.. and some asshole from way back when decided to start "The Good 'Ole Boys Club"..which meant climbing to the very top and touching the "Needle"..Ok, whatever...I was challenged as a "rookie' and as competitive as I am.. I couldn't back down. I did it. WTF? I nearly peed my pants. Why? Because I absolutely LOVE my JOB! must obviously LOVE Lil' Blonde dearly! It's all good! I am proud of you!

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
1/6/2006 6:00 am where are the pictures of you clinging to the walls with all the blood drained from your face crying like a lil girl? i know blonde...i KNOW she took some...

Valdrane78 38M

1/6/2006 8:03 am

Oh man, that was hilarious. I would be one of those people paying to jump off it.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 12:59 pm

LOL Mindfucker,


I took my pants off when I went up and put em back on when I got down.

Pretty smart huh?

could explain why that guy jumped

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:02 pm

Happy New Year Hots!


I have a phone?

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:03 pm

Hey five,


Must be!

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:04 pm

Wow Al,

Any idea where you can get this cure from?

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:06 pm

Alzheimers Al,

they get up there and think...

Oh shit! Where did I park the car?

Then spend 20 bucks in $1 coins trying to find the bastard thing.

I'd buy a new car or claim the insurance

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:10 pm

Well Tiller,

I respect the fact that it scares the shit outta me!

bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:11 pm

In a safe place SJ...

in a *very* safe place!


bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:16 pm

Hey there sexyfit!

Yeah those steps will do that to ya!

Do I look like a bloody masochist? This is plenty high for me.

Glad you got a laugh out of it... I can now... kinda!


bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:18 pm

You should try it Val,

It's like one of those tests you can take...

to see how strong yer arse is!

The other's down some dodgy side street.


bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 1:20 pm

Thanks tigger sweetie!

Plain and simple!

Heights and distance suck!


bulging_boy 49M

1/6/2006 7:27 pm


there's too many high bridges they bungie off down here!

I hope she doesn't. That arse torpedo would probably take them *all* out!


Thanks mate

bulging_boy 49M

1/7/2006 1:38 am

LOL Spicy,

I'm glad I could bring a smile to your face,

god knows mine's only starting to come back now


kyplowboy22 61M

1/7/2006 8:37 am

Ah, the life of a Leg is a terrible thing. lmao Would have paid good money to be up there with you...just to jump up and down and shake the whole thing for ya! Good post. Later


bulging_boy 49M

1/7/2006 1:14 pm


You evil fucker!


fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
1/7/2006 1:24 pm

I'm imagining bulgy and trav clinging to each other...


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

bulging_boy 49M

1/7/2006 3:53 pm

Join in fantasia!

we need help... hayulp... hayulp....


rm_hinkawaza 52M
371 posts
1/8/2006 1:15 am

Its not the hieghts I'm afraid of, its the fall!!!

On second thought, its the sudden stop that the bottom that scares the livin' shit out of me!!!!

rm_hinkawaza 52M
371 posts
1/8/2006 1:15 am

Its not the hieghts I'm afraid of, its the fall!!!

On second thought, its the sudden stop at the bottom that scares the livin' shit out of me!!!!

bulging_boy 49M

1/8/2006 1:04 pm

Hey hink,

So true... sadly sooo true!


bulging_boy 49M

1/8/2006 1:05 pm


You *musta* been nervous thinking of that then!


You managed to shake that comment out twice!


rm_hinkawaza 52M
371 posts
1/9/2006 3:22 pm

It amazed me too! After all that time in the "Hell of non-sticking responses" all of a sudden I'm sticking everywhere!

rm_Sgt_DickHead 42M
22 posts
1/9/2006 7:57 pm

Hmmmmmmmmmmm Only thing that comes to mind is.... what a pussy..... Boy you need to grow some nuts.... What you got in them government issued drawers? Marbles? Nut up recruit!

No wonder you drive on the wrong side of the road... Bet you dont wipe either..... I aint never seen such a baby girl in all my live long days....

bulging_boy 49M

1/9/2006 8:59 pm

Ten Shun!

Yes Sir Sgt DickHead Sir!

Sir permission to direct Sgt to another member Pvt Bulging_Boy knows to be a bigger baby girl Sir!

Sir Pvt Girly_Pants is the biggest baby girl Sir!

Permission to laugh Sir?

womanoirish 54F

3/12/2006 11:24 pm

Hilarious! DaphneR recommended I read this, since I missed it. I hate heights too but I don't think nearly as bad as you do.

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