A really scary movie!  

bulging_boy 49M
4912 posts
11/13/2005 7:06 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A really scary movie!

I thought some of you could do with a breath of fresh air, so while our attempts at getting Blogville restored and the horrible stinky cloud blown back... here's some more of my mindless shite.

In saying that... the competion is starting to hot up. In particular Bard of the Bum has proven to be the hitherto unknown ringin. Certainly that man knows how to bottom bugle his way out of a paper bag. I only hope my trailer stands up to it all.

Now some of you may remember my post Stupid Cupid where I indicated that my mates need to pay attention around me. Well this one aint much different.

It all started a few years... ok... more than a few years ago.

A group of horny guys banded together and decided we'd go and watch a porno. On the big screen.

You know there is something about gigantic boobs and things that brings a smile to the face of a male.

Anyway... we paid, made our way into this dirty hovel of a theatre, found some clean seats and sat down.

Just as the movie was starting we noticed this dirty old fella get into the seats a couple of rows back from us. Anyway... that didn't matter as the movie was about to start.

Halfway into it we hear the guy behind us start breathing funny. He is labouring with grunts and stuff like that. I as gingerly as I could tried to see what he was doing and immediatly wished I hadn't

Yup. Havin a wank.

I indicated to my mates what was happening and they all just looked at me in horror. Of course horror was all over my face as well, so we seemed to be sharing the same opinion.

Get me the fuck out of here!

Anyway 1.45 seconds after being freaked out to the point that my sphincter was mouthing like a goldfish, I had the perversion fairy whisper in my ear.

I dipped my fingers into my coke and reached around my mates and flicked.

Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful.

Musta got him on the ear.

He jumped up quicker than something that jumps up really quicky and turned around and called the guy a dirty fuck before literally running out of the theatre.

I waited 5 minutes before I went out as well.

My tears needed time to dry and there were still giant tits on the screen.

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
11/13/2005 7:23 pm

thats funny as fuck

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/13/2005 7:28 pm

See, I know thats a lie if you found clean seats in a porno theater, dearest.

bardicman 50M

11/13/2005 7:33 pm

Ok I lost it when you said "sphincter mouthing like a goldfish"

Then I finished the story!!

Fucking ROFL!!

I am not dead yet

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
11/13/2005 7:44 pm

I almost peed my my pants reading that, because I can completely picture the whole thing...lol




rm_kreepingvyne 34M/34F

11/13/2005 7:51 pm

Nice!!!! You're a smart one!

1023 posts
11/13/2005 8:02 pm

I thought Stupid Cupid was great, but this was art. Though I don't know you, I do consider you a friend, but I'll be mindful of your trickery, that is certain. Genius, I tell you!

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/13/2005 9:06 pm

Yeah that's the last time I go see a nudie flick with you ya Leprechan lover. I still have nightmares from that day. I can't even drink coke anymore without gagging.

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 12:38 am

Honest to god SJ,

I thought I was gonna die. I still don't know if he's got over that.

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 12:49 am

Oh GOD Saint.

They looked clean... but it was dimly lit.

We just went for the dry ones that didn't glow in the dark

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:16 am

Bard man!

It wasn't meant to be a sexy story. I'm just glad you managed to keep your composure.


bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:20 am


Some how it would have meant more to me if you had!


bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:22 am

Thanks Kreeping,

Not the description my mate used. It started with C and rhymed with punt.

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:32 am

Cheers Viking buddy,

That's high praise coming from a twisted mind like yours!

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:33 am

Just because we can Sil,

We're also more sharing that folks realise.

Who said guys aren't caring huh?

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 1:34 am

I did tell you not to swallow Luke

I really did!

mysteriesofme 44F

11/14/2005 3:13 pm

Bulge you are my kind of man... lol

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
11/14/2005 4:07 pm

Just one more reason why I absolutely adore men. I bet you all sat there and giggled too didn't you? C'mon...tell the truth. Big Boobs and pranking a guy with supposedly body fluids. I KNOW you were giggling.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 6:49 pm

Thanks mysteries.


bulging_boy 49M

11/14/2005 6:54 pm

The truth pixie?

The truth is I thought my lungs had burst. I couldn't breathe!

I think had it not been for the perve behind. I would have watched the rest of the film

MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
11/15/2005 2:39 pm


With friends like you, who needs enemas?


Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



bulging_boy 49M

11/15/2005 5:04 pm

I dunno Mr P,

But line em up. I get good pressure in this hose of mine

anchcpl4fun 40M/44F

11/16/2005 5:37 am


bulging_boy 49M

11/16/2005 8:05 am

Thanks anch,

I see where your question originated from now.

Glad you appreciated it

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