pet peeves and lunch dates  

broadluvs77 52F
73 posts
3/24/2006 6:42 am

Last Read:
7/3/2006 4:14 am

pet peeves and lunch dates

I'm having a little down day. It all surrounds plans that were tentatively made and re-arranged, and now cancelled. I'm trying to be a grown-up about the whole situation, but I can't help feeling let down and a bit neglected. First, I have to say that one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone you really like says he will call later in the evening and he doesn't for whatever reason. I understand that life throws you curves and you can't always follow through with plans. It's just a little thing to take a minute or two and make a quick phone call, though. Call and say 'hey, things aren't working out the way I hoped today. I can't talk, but I'm thinking about you.' goes a really long way. I'm the type of person that needs to feel like she can rely on someone, and when that little thing just keeps happening over and over, I begin to feel that I can't trust that particular someone to be there. I also don't feel like I'm very important to him, and I start to question my own worth as a person and as a woman.

He did finally get in touch with me this morning, and corporate life has gotten in the way. So, no lunch date. Our plans were tentative anyway, and I kind of expected them to change. It still hurts a little and makes me feel a little less important. It also pisses me off a bit, too. My time is valuable, even if I do have most of the day off. I want to kick somebody right now. Anyway, I'll get over it, especially if he makes a real effort to make things up to me.

kittihunter 45F

3/25/2006 5:04 am

Hi broadluvs,
Nice blog and I'm sorry that you were feeling down over the situation and everything. Not to be nosey, but from what you wrote, I get the impression that there may be more to this guy's habitual unavailabilty than just his overwhelming corporate life. If he didn't already divulge his marital status to you and the two of you didn't have an " discreet arrangement" already, than my guess would be that there's a wife somewhere in the picture and he's trying to juggle both of you along with whatever 'corporate' responsibilities he may have.

If he can never seem to get a phone call to you, can only meet you at lunchtime and keeps having to reschedule times to see you, keeps having to make it up to you, those would be red flags much of the time. I feel for you because I've been in that situation before and you are absolutely right, your time is very valuable, you are very valuable and I believe too much so for someone like your "friend" to be so disrespectful of that fact. His life is so important and he has so many things to take care of, but he thinks nothing of pulling the rug out from under you when meeting you is not convenient for him? Who does he think he is? Who does he think you are? If he can make time for whatever or whomever else he has in his life he deems to be so important, then he can make time for you. If he cannot or will not, there are plenty of other friends to be made.
You and your time are priceless and if you truly believe that, then hopefully this will be the LAST lunch date (or any other date) that he'd break with you. Be good and I really hope you get to feeling better soon!

broadluvs77 replies on 3/26/2006 4:08 am:
Thanks for your comment, kitti. By the small portion of things I've written down, I can see how you've got the wrong impression about the situation and I do apologize. He is single. He is also a single dad with a very high pressure career. I've done my research on him, believe me. This week was just an out of the ordinary week in my usually busy schedule. I had my days free and he and I tentatively made plans to have lunch together 1 day while I was off, and it just didn't work out. He can't help the fact that his flight on Tuesday was delayed, that his youngest son had to be rushed to the doctor on Wednesday, and his boss summoned him to corporate headquarters for a meeting at the last minute on Friday. That's part of life. It really sucks and I was a bit whiny about it because I have way too much idle time on my hands this week and I let the date become something more to me than it really was. That is what can happen when you have a week's vacation and no particular plans to fill the week.

I do appreciate the support and the advice. It's nice to know that someone is reading my blog on occasion and that I'm taken seriously. Thank you for showing me that there are still caring people out there.


cautiousnc 55F

7/2/2006 4:38 pm

I've just been through something similar myself and I have to agree with your first post - how hard is it to make a quick phone call to change or cancel plans? Not doing so is just completely inconsiderate of my (your) time. It irks me to no end when what people say and what they do contradict each other. I don't understand at all how anyone can be so sweet and interested one day and turn around and stand you up the next. It drives me insane!

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