|Blogs > broadluvs77 > On being a sexual deviant|
The Darker Side of Deviance
The Darker Side of Deviance
Several years ago, before the internet really became such a great way to meet people, I used the local personals to meet people. One of the people I met was this guy named John. When I first met him, I thought he was great. He was about 6'7" tall, blond hair, blue eyes, dimples, and about 285lbs. He was pretty sexy. We hit it off from the start and began seeing one another regularly.
The sex was great. He was well endowed and knew all the right places to touch to send me over the edge. Sometimes we'd watch a little porn together when we had sex. We'd talk openly about our fantasies and visit the local adult book store to buy toys, videos, and magazines. One thing he was interested in was having a three way, so he invited his best friend over. We had a great MFM experience on more than one occasion, and things were great.
I was pretty emotionally attached to this guy after a couple of years. I'd spend a lot of time in his apartment, and we had a pretty solid relationship. He expressed a desire to start bringing other women and couples into our sex life. Fine with me. I'd done some swinging before and I kinda liked it. So, I trusted him to start looking for some partners.
Unfortunately John was pretty immature when it came to choosing partners and he had this mixed up idea that you had to lie a little bit to get another girl involved in a threesome. The first female partner he chose was a really cute girl with great boobs. We had a pretty good time together. She was pretty young and showed a lot of immaturity, though, and was pretty clingy to John. I found out soon enough that John had played on that immaturity and had told the girl a lot of lies about her role in our relationship. He actually had her believing that he loved her and wanted to marry her and move far away from the area with her. His lies caused her a lot of heartache, and eventually she attempted to commit suicide right there in John's apartment. He had to call 9-1-1 to get her out of there. It was a pretty rough scene with the cops and her mother coming over.
The next thing he did was answer some ads in the local alternative personals to try to hook up with some couples. The first couple we met was pretty cool. She was a Dom and the both were heavy into BDSM. John was all hot and ready to go for an encounter with them, but I was a bit reluctant since I'd seen a bit of that lifestyle before and knew I didn't care for it. The couple could see my reluctance and were kind enough to find an excuse to postpone our encounter indefinitely. Eventually, John stopped trying to set up a meeting.
That didn't stop him from pursuing a little BDSM with me. He read parts of the Story of O and wanted to live them out. I became his mistress of sorts and had to be at his beck and call for a time. I had to go straight to his house after work several days a week and change into the clothes he picked out for me. He'd tie me to the bed and bring guys over to fuck me. Sometimes, he'd take me out in the car and drive around until he found a trucker willing to watch and have me play with toys while he drove alongside the trucker on the Interstate. Other times, he'd go to the local college hangouts and get a group of young men together and make me perform for them for the evening. Eventually, he'd let any of them who wanted fuck me.
He grew tired of that game after a while, and decided to try finding some couples again. This time his choice of couples was outrageous. One day when I came over, there was this lady there who he wanted to introduce me to. He said he figured we should meet with her before we brought her partner into the action. She was a nice enough lady to start with - a little bit older with huge breasts. She wasn't attractive, but was pleasant, so I thought things might be okay - that is until I found out some things about her that were real turn offs: she didn't shave anything, she had extreme body odor, and the kicker - she was incontinent and had to wear a diaper. Also, I found out who her boyfriend was, and he was a local photographer who was known for his lack of personal hygiene. I was able to get out of that one by telling her that I had professional dealings with her boyfriend and I couldn't ethically participate in sexual activities with them.
John didn't try to find any more couples for us to hook up with after that. Instead, he decided to try another route. He called a lady who had an ad as a sex therapist in the local alternative newspaper. (I never could get her to show me her credentials, so I don't think she really was a sex therapist, but that's a whole different story.) I thought he'd learned his lesson about lying, but he hadn't. He told her this really convoluted story about how bad his sex life was and how he needed help. She bought it and set up a series of appointments with him. After a couple of sessions he came clean with her and explained that he was just trying to find someone to help fulfill some fantasies and asked if she'd like to join us. She did. For the next several months, it was basically the 3 of us until he started trying to play mind games with us. I finally told him that if he loved me he'd break things off with her because she was a whole lot more savvy than he was in the ways of relationships and sex and he was no match for her. I don't know what eventually happened between the two of them, but I'm pretty sure he found out first hand what I was talking about because she completely diappeared from our lives.
In the meantime, John had become a real couch potato and it was unusual for me to go to his house and find him clothed and in an upright position. Almost every time I pulled up to his apartment, I could see the t.v. across from his bed was on and a porn movie was playing. He ordered in almost every night and ballooned up to over 400 lbs. His face was getting pimply and he drank so many sodas that you could actually smell them in his sweat. If he didn't have a large pizza on the way, he was grilling steaks and frying potatoes for dinner. He bought a computer and started surfing the net, too. He was finding the most disgusting deviant sites he could find and downloading the images and videos. There were hard core BDSM sites he went to, sites where there were 'golden showers' orgies, and beastiality sites. Perhaps the most disgusting thing I saw him downloading one day was the video of a girl with a python (just use your imagination here). I was really beginning to rethink our relationship.
We met this really great girl named Michelle. She and I became pretty good friends, and she became the third person in our relationship. The sex with her was fun, and John started acting more like himself. He stopped downloading the really sick porn and started spending quality time with both of us girls.
But, he still had one little fantasy in his mind he wanted to act out and he knew I'd never go for it, but he figured he could talk Michelle into acting it out. He was right on that account. He was interested in 'golden showers'. The first thing he got Michelle to do was to pee on him in the shower one night. It wasn't long before it was a regular thing with him. As soon as Michelle was used to that, he turned the tables on her and started peeing on her every chance she'd give him. That wasn't enough. He finally convinced Michelle to actually drink his urine. I don't know who out of the 3 of us was sicker - him for wanting her to do it, her for doing it, or me for watching it and staying in the relationship.
Michelle had some things come up in her life shortly after that and couldn't spend as much time with us. We still kept in touch, but we weren't as active as we had been. By then, John had gotten over his 'golden showers' obsession and had moved on to an anal obsession. He wanted me to let him fuck me in the ass. Now, I wasn't too keen on that to start with. In my opinion, the ass is meant for only one thing and it's not meant for things to be shoved inside. Besides that, all of my previous experiences with anal just weren't fulfilling. I hadn't been hurt or anything like that. I just wasn't stimulated by being fucked in the ass. John was really well endowed, and I wasn't too thrilled with the prospect of being fucked in the ass as you already know, but I was willing to let him try since I loved him. On the first attempt, we realized very quickly that it just wasn't going to work. He was way too big for me. No matter how much lube he used or how relaxed I could get my muscles, he was just way too big to fit without hurting me. Several months went by and he didn't even ask about trying it again. Apparently he'd been thinking about it for a while, though, because one night he decided he was going to do it come hell or high water. We were having great sex doggy style when he asked if he could try again. I was pretty relaxed, so I said okay. When I told him it was hurting me - I even used our safe word - he just wouldn't stop. And, with him being as big as he was, there was no way I could get out from under him. He had me pinned to the bed. He ended up me that night and tearing me pretty badly. I have a little scar that I can feel every time I go to the bathroom. Afterward, he denied remembering the night. He cried about it and claimed he had a seizure or something and couldn't remember hurting me like that.
Needless to say, I lost all trust in him afterward. I was so emotionally attached to him, though, that I couldn't break the relationship off. It took Michelle's support to get out of the relationship. I can remember it so clearly. She was there that day and helped me to let out all the pent up anger and hostility I had for him for me that night. I'll never forget the look on his face when I started screaming at the top of my lungs at him while I was packing my belongings. Michelle was standing to the side, within arms reach of the baseball bat just in case he did anything to defend himself. She was determined to let me hit him as hard as I could and beat him to a pulp if I needed to in order to break free. All it took was one hard slap in the face and a couple of blood curdling screams, and I knew I had his full attention. I let him have it for all he'd done to me, and Michelle and I got out of there. That's the last either of us has seen of him. I know he eventually ended up going to court for suspected child molestation, but he got out of that one. He had proof that he was a 3-hour drive away from the little girl on the night and time her mother said he touched the little girl. After what he did to me, I'm not sure he was totally innocent - just lucky perhaps?
2/9/2006 5:38 am
Shit you poor woman ! Yeh men can be pritty sad in there needs , I'm happy to say that im not like that probally from my background i dont find sex as kinki as it might get is a turn on if she's not enjoying it . How sad no wonder some guys have no chance with things due to the assholes out there. Chin up thank god you got out of that one, better luck next time heh ?|