As long as I live, I'll never understand,....  

broadluvs77 52F
73 posts
9/16/2005 4:03 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

As long as I live, I'll never understand,....

I woke up this morning to a series of Yahoo IM's from my lover. It's been almost 2 weeks since we've talked. You already know a little about the crisis we had 2 weeks ago. After talking about things, I discovered that he had a lot on his mind that he needed to sort out and was willing to give him some time. He missed my birthday. That was a bummer, but I knew he was having problems at work and with his wife, and dealing with his emotions surrounding our affair.

Anyway, in this list of IM's he sent, he gave me a summary of what's been happening to him. He's been transferred to Canada with his job, and may even be going to China on a project for an extended length of time. His wife has asked for a divorce. And, he guesses this is farewell for us.

You know, I don't really know what to say to that. We weren't just clandestine lovers. There was a real connection between us and we have become friends, too. Throwing that friendship out the door seems such a waste, especially with the technology we have available to us for staying in touch. And, it sounds like he could use a real friend right now, too.

It just doesn't feel right leaving our love affair this way. The way we connected the first time we were together, I know we have unfinished business on a spiritual level. If he just leaves like this our cosmic business is still unfinished, and it just isn't right. I just wish he's reconsider the whole farewell forever thing. If not, I at least wish he'd have the decency to take a couple hours out and say goodbye in person so we can both have closure.


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