And I thought I sucked...  

brett97 39M
57 posts
11/7/2005 7:36 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

And I thought I sucked...

Ok, I will admit, that I don't like Britney Spears, even though she is from the same state as me. I see her as pure, trailer living, white trash who just got lucky. But after reading this, I know that there is a bigger waste of flesh than her, and she married and reproduced with it.

From MSN Entertainment:

With talk flying in those pesky "false tabloids" about how trouble is a-brewin' for a post-baby Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, we take comfort in knowing that the former unemployed backup dancer, 27, has his music career to fall back on should the unthinkable happen.

Oh wait.

Yes, the blood trickling from the ear of many a curious listener can mean only one thing: a snippet from K. Fed's forthcoming effort has found its way onto the Internet.

The aural assault is entitled "Y'all Ain't Ready," a phrase that also seems to apply to the saggy-pantsed, perma-stubbled Federline's autobiographical rhymes, which include references to everything from the paparazzi (or his operatic nickname for them) to his tendency to be fruitful and multiply, most recently with the arrival of little Sean Preston.

The New York Daily News and the New York Post take one for the team by transcribing some of Kevin's grammar-free cacophony, with the latter labeling it "lame lyrics mixed with the usual bravado."

A few sample lines: "Back then they called me K. Fed/ But you can call me daddy instead ... Go ahead and say whatcha wanna/I'm gonna sell about 2 mil, oh, then I'm a goner ... I know y'all wish you was in my position/Cause I keep gettin' in situations that you wish you was in, cousin/ I'm not your brother, not your uncle, I'm daddy, dude."

Think this puts the " " in "craptacular?" Are you longing for the salad days of Vanilla Ice? Too bad, there's more ...

"Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue/My prediction is that y'all gonna hate me and this style we create, straight 2008/But I know that you really can't wait, cuz people are always asking me when's the release date/Well maybe baby you can wait and see and until then all these Pavarottis followin' me/Getting anxious? Go take a peek/ I'm starrin' in your magazines now every day of the week ..."

(In Kevin's defense, those annoying "Pavarottis" do follow him wherever he goes, snapping endless photos and loudly singing Puccini arias.)

Last week, In Touch reported that the wanna-be rapper's recordings (his album, "The Truth," is due out next year) were met with "hurtful laughter from his superstar wife, who was unimpressed."

A mole told the mag, "She said his debut CD might sell 'a hundred, maybe a thousand' copies if he was lucky. Kevin looked really hurt."

Wow, I can't wait to ignore that CD at Best Buy next year.

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