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The Drama Cycle
The Drama Cycle
Two weekends ago the wedding bells rang quietly off the Vegas strip and this evening is the reception of sorts. The public invited to a rock club isn't really an intimate setting for such an occasion, but when are receptions ever intimate?
Those who knew my history with the bride understood the passion that I felt for her when we were together. She introduced me to unconditional love and acceptance. I never longed or wanted to be married before, and with her in my life, I realized that I truly did want to share my life with someone and I imagined what it would be like to wake up next to her well into my sixties and beyond. In the end she was to share her life with someone else, and I truly wish them well.
I have weighed the options laid before me this evening and I feel like this reception is something I should attend. I am truly happy for her and her husband. There's no "better man" syndrome or jealousy in my heart. So why do those around me attempt to spin the drama cycle?
Is it that perhaps they feel this should hurt me in some way and I am just stupid not to acknowledge I've lost her? Is it simply that I haven't been close to her in so long that what she does with her life is of no consequence to me? Maybe they are trying to get an emotional reaction from me or are trying to meddle in my personal life? Perhaps I am just reading a hell of a lot into this whole thing?
I'm not one who longs to swim in the pools of drama, nor lead others to drown in its black waters. I've cast those who thrive in its shallows away from me, leaving them to find other lives to capsize. But these few with good intentions empathize for me, and I can only thank them for wanting to stand beside me, even if its unnecessary.
My reasons for going tonight are purely selfish. I want to see friends, listen to some local bands play, and perhaps kiss the bride on the cheek and congratulate her. I want nothing more than for her to be happy. In fact, that's all I've ever wanted... even if it wasn't with me in her life.
12/19/2005 9:53 pm
My ex wife played me so bad this past year and I can feel your pain. You see we seperated in September of 2004 and Divorced In July of 2005. I had a friend atleast I thought he was a friend and she left me for him, Even though we were divorced she would still come over every night and we would have sex as well. She had told me that nothing was going on between them since last November. About a month ago or so they moved out of there apartment and in with his aunt. Since then ITs been All B.S. Her telling me she stilled loved me and wanted us to move back in together and get remarried I was so happy until they moved back in with his aunt. The song Dont know what you got till its gone sure makes sense to me because I truly miss her and my two boys, I have provided him with so much proof but she lies and plays us both.|