That "Age" Thing  

NyxisGhoulVitro 48M
35 posts
1/9/2006 7:50 pm

Last Read:
5/6/2007 3:38 am

That "Age" Thing

No longer a virile stud in my teens, but still willing to give it a solid go, I've met someone intriguing recently. My dilemma is far from simple, she's 13 years younger than I am.

She seems to not care that there is a significant age difference between us, and we do share many hobbies and interests, which though surprising, are very real. What gets me is her interest in me feels more like a crush than anything else.

How young is too young to date? Once the decade barrier is broken, can people truly be compatible? Even when they are in their mid twenties and you are at least a decade older than them?

I am usually the kind of person who follows their instincts, but our common interest and strong connection are blurring that line for me. This is something I would appreciate respectful comment on.

Thank you in advance for any suggestions you may have.

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
7/12/2006 10:57 am

Umm...she's thirteen. You'll have to wait a bit for that dating thing! Like, wait until she is 18. If she is still interested then, then go ahead. She might have similar interests, or she may be pretending to have similar interests just so she can talk to you about something. She probably has an enormous crush. When I was a 13, I had dozens of them all at one time. There ARE relationships like this that work, but ideally, 10 years or less is far more sensible, because of the way that we age and grow. My hubby and I got married when I was 20, and there were a dozen major changes I went through in the process that might've caused any lesser man to divorce me, because suddenly, he wasn't married to the same woman any longer. Really, ideally, people should probably hook up AFTER establishing a strong independent identity, helping to ensure long term compatibilities.

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NyxisGhoulVitro 48M
41 posts
7/12/2006 10:38 pm

No, no, no... she's not thirteen years old. There are thirteen years difference between us. Thankfully, I don't have THAT kind of problem! heheheh

Thanks for your advice, fantasia_shares.

IamWetFire 52F

8/18/2006 3:45 pm

I have to agree with Fantasia_Shares, B. When I was the same age as your youngster, I lived with a man your age. But, he was a Vietnam vet and his head was not screwed on very well. The sex was phenomenal and that's the only reason I stayed for the better part of a year. BUT: other than the mind-boggling sex, we had nothing in common except that we worked at the same place--a whole other "bad scenario" story in itself.

While things like this can be amazing sexually, and help you feel like you're recapturing your own younger days, as far as LTR potential. . .I wouldn't give it very high marks. I've discovered, now that the shoe is on the other foot and I date younger men, I have to put up with a lot of things because of the innate lack of maturity and experience involved. Conversely, I don't particularly care for older men because, while they have the wisdom of years, they mostly lack the ability to keep up with my "thinks it's still 25" sex drive.

What's a person to do?

View it for what it is. Other than that, if I were in the same situation, I would not let it go beyond a casual relationship stage.

Good luck, dear!


rm_Shhhugarlips 47F

1/5/2007 8:05 pm

Hi! I just have to comment: YOU have found a "strong connection", "met someone intriguing" "someone who shares a "common interest" and now you ask "how young is too young"? Isn't it kinda late for that question? She likes you because you are an older man, you are attractive, no doubt, and stop underestimating yourself, surely YOU are a virile stud! Did you want her to have more than a "crush" on you? Age is a number. If you think this is getting serious, tell her, and work on it, sounds like you already have a great start! Personally, I like younger men and even at a 15 year age difference, there's still fun, excitement and common interests!

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