The Curse Of Being A "Nice Guy"  

bmoviejunkie2 50M
27 posts
8/3/2005 11:54 am

Last Read:
9/13/2006 9:10 pm

The Curse Of Being A "Nice Guy"

I have really struggled with myself lately on the simple fact of my nature. You see, I am very much what a lot of people would call the classic "nice guy". You know, that kind of guy that almost every woman wants as their "friend" but does not want to date.

I don't know how many times I have heard the "let's be friends" speech and the woman has actually meant it. My Yahoo IM is literally filled with women who continually want to tell me how much their dating life sucked and say "I hope to end up with a guy just like you". I have a significant amount of women at my job who talk to me a lot about their relationships with other men (which is fine with me, since I don't date people I work with). This can get quite detailed: one college girl I work with actually sat down with me for quite awhile and explained to me that she wanted to try something new with her boyfriend--and asked me detailed questions on how to give a good blowjob (no, I didn't demonstrate or have her practice on me). Not trying to be rude or anything like that, but I think the comfort level that women have with me borders on ridiculous at times.

I have also heard more than one woman say to me that I am "the kind of guy you don't date but the kind of guy you want to marry." Maybe I don't understand the female mind, but I have no clue what that statement even means. Isn't the reason that you "date" a person in the first place is to see if the person is somebody you want a deeper relationship with?

Back when I was 20 that "nice guy" mentality was something that I carried around was a cherished trait. Now it is more like a millstone around my neck. There is a large part of me that wishes that I could shed that "nice guy" aspect of me like a snake sheds skin. This "nice guy" aspect of me makes me feel like a cultural dinosaur, a relic.

Have you ever noticed how the "caveman" type of guy that every woman complains and whines about are the ones who have one or more girlfriends and have choices of who they will go out with on the weekends? I have several friends who fall into that "nice guy" that have careers, savings, cars, and homes yet can't get a woman to even look at them. I also know guys who don't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of, yet women line up.

Sorry ladies, but I don't understand. Enlighten me.

JuicyBBW1001 54F

8/3/2005 2:18 pm

B if you where in Florida I am sure your luck might change not only is it hot as hell here there seem to be less desirable men too they are either gay,too old or married and some are just plain psycho so what is a good woman to do in Florida? Nothing just sit and be patient and hope for the best or get out the map and blindfold myself and get a dart and throw it and then move to where it lands. Trust me I have considered doing that many times but with my luck I would end up throwing the dart right where I am now.


hourglasses 47F

8/4/2005 3:13 pm

I've never actually dated a 'caveman'. I always go for the 'nice guy'. Then unfortunately they usually dump me for a 'nice girl'. Then six months to a year later they want to cheat on her with me because she doesn't like sex. So here I am. I guess I would be called 'Bitter girl'.

wingnut1964_99 52M

8/14/2005 6:09 am

I feel your pain,brother!I work with many fine women and flirt with them all,but nothing happens...Except for one girl.About a month ago,we spent the weekend in Manistee.Too bad "Aunt Flo" came rushing into town!But since then,nothing.She has alot of guy friends and finally I told her that if all we are going to be is friends,that's fine.BUT,I didn't want to hear about relationship problems that she was having with someone else.Now she keeps stringing me along like something might happen,but nothing ever does...I'm sick and tired of being a "nice guy".

rm_StarlitHour 36F

8/15/2005 12:26 am

I honestly think the problem with "nice guys" and "nice girls" is media attention. The nice guy isn't supposed to get the girl. The girl is supposed to have to go through some harrowing feat to get the man of her dreams or rescue and rehabilitate the bad boy into the man of her dreams. Everyone seems to want a melodrama for a life. I personally would be happy to find someone who is smart, funny, sexy, and willing to be the nice guy he was born. But at the same time the nice guy doesn't really seem content with the nice girl; he wants the Paris Hilton's of the world. Good Luck looking for Ms. Right.

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