|Blogs > blueeyedmurder3 > confessions of a BDSM wannabe|
cam fun etc
cam fun etc
Funny sunday stories - first - I'm getting to my blog thru the main blog page and see a guy who's blog is called "Suck my dick - be my slave". And I laugh, cause it's that kind of brazen humor that is so off base I'm sure the writer is doing it deliberately.
I must look at it, and find 3 posts from a heartbroken kid whose missing his wife - I guess she left him. He doesn't leave any real details, and he sounds just awful. Poor thing. I left him a post and said I"d watch his blog - and would listen. He gave me a chuckle, and that's enough to make me care just a little.
Voodoo Guru, hope you're out there, been enjoying talking to you.
Back to the subject. My cam has been down for a few weeks. The prince has been hit particularly hard by this, and trying to fix the cam led me to find out my D drive is fried. Great, now I can ship the chassis back to Dell since it's under warrenty. SHIT. Well, I'm not invisible to exactly 3 people on yahoo - all of whom mean a great deal to me. And I got the cam at the request of one in the first place. He was online today, and talked me thru getting the software off the Logitech website, and got the thing reinstalled! So there he is, working on a job overseas, all lonely and we get down to a little business. Sadly, I'm just not into the camming these days, as the canned profile responses say here "tried it but it's just not the same!" Ain't that true. So while I'm showing off my pussy and play techniques, one of the other people logs on and ask what I'm doing - then my prince logs on - and all want to watch. Two of these guys I can NEVER catch on line in the first place, so having all three on at once is freaking me out. There are open windows all over the place, I can't keep track of who I'm talking to and pleasure myself at the same time. It gets too dry to continue so I stop.
If any one of these three were in a reasonable distance, I'd stop all this nonsense in a hypersecond, and just be with them. Since 2 are married, I sincerely doubt that will ever work out - and the third (the only one I've actually met!) travels for business and lives hundreds of miles away - when he's actually home, and not consulting all over the place. The prince always says not to despair, that things will work themselves out. Sooner than later would be nice.
Stood up TWICE this weekend ! My God, it's unsulting. R. has now done this two weekends in a row. Usually, I'd have gotten a phone call with some kind of explanation by now - but I haven't.
And Friday night's date, as I described, wanted to stop by here today after his family reunion nearby. He never called either. Saving me the trouble of telling him I didn't want to continue.
As for R., I think I'm ready to let that go too. Not angrily, I just don't think we care enough about each other to make this work on even a casual level. It's one thing to not want to see somebody too often, and to draw the line at friendship, but it's entirely another not to do what you are supposed to do when said you would. At least without a phone call before the fact. Twice now, I've sat home on Sat night waiting for R. And that's just rude.
Well at least I got some work done around here. And found some frozen gumbo in the freezer - made it a while ago - shrimp sausage, okra, peppers onions & tomato sauce over rice, with a side of corn on the cob. Dear God, I haven't eaten a real meal like that in AGES. THink I shall explode.
It's Quinn's birthday - and the ex posted a greeting on our dog list. Said Quinny will have a trip to the dogpark today - and have some kind of dog cake tonight. I feel horrible, I'd forgotten. Truthfully, I'm trying not to think about him, because when I do I just cry. Same thing with Mac - tonight Nelson did a stealth move and stole a stick of butter off the counter, and was halfway to the basement with it before I even noticed. That was SO like his Mama. I should have gotten in his face about it, but all I could do was laugh, then try not to cry. I lost the envelope with the locks of Mac's hair in it. How said it is that all I have left of her is some red fur and hundreds of photos.
Here's another good reason to let Mr. Friday night go. Told me Friday when he was a little kid, his godfather's Irish Setter went for his throat. That's just a bad sign.
Happy Birthday Dr. Quinn - hope Dad got you a BIG bone like you had that Christmas....
8/16/2005 8:22 am
You have an amazing quality that most people seem to sorely lack.....Perspective. It's so nice to see someone keeping their wits and humor when faced with the everyday trials we all go thru. With a spirit like yours how can you not find what makes you happy. *hugs*|
8/16/2005 4:23 pm
<blush> Well, experience shows me if I can be miserable about something, I will. LOL. |
We are never too old to learn and change. I see so many people who don't believe that, and they are TRULY miserable. That or totally self-absorbed, which I am guilty of sometimes, too. The secret to all this is - I already AM happy. I know I could be happier - but right now is just fine! It's peaceful, and I really needed peace. Tranquility even. And I come home and the only two life forms in this house worship me! How cool is that?