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blondietickler 43F
76 posts
5/23/2006 9:28 pm

Last Read:
6/2/2006 1:15 pm

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have you ever had such a day that you just want to restart it and stay in bed all day instead. i have had such a day today and am ready for it to be sooo over. it started out as such a promising day today. no big plans, just going to watch my kid at her school thing if i had time to stop between calls. well i vagely (?) remember my spouse(who left me some months ago) calling last night. i have been talking with him lately and telling him i don't want him back, but i am willing to be his friend if he wants. who wants 5 years to go down the drain totally. that just said i wasted that time. so i have talked to him and i think he said last night that he was coming here. i haven't told him where i live other that in hobbs. so he calls again today and says he will be here soon. my first reaction was to run and hide and never let him see me again. not a good response from my part, but that is how i am feeling. so maybe i shouldn't see him. i do want the closure though. i would like to go on with my life knowing that i did all that i could and can go on with my life to be the best person that i can. back to the rant. i worked extremely hard today in 100 degree weather and had to put together 3 hospital beds. i drove over 300 miles and then i find out it wasn't a bad dream after all that he said he was coming here. so if it is ok i am just going to try and forget this day ever happened and try and go on with the next day. that is all we can do right? don't know what i am going to do with him coming here. i am a soft hearted woman and can't stand to put someone on the street, but i don't want the drama to effect my kid ever again. any comments would be appreciated. sorry for the long run on paragraph. too tired to seperate anything right now. thanks for listening to my rant.

Djeeper1987 47M

5/23/2006 9:48 pm

I had that day myself. I was just not into it. Called worked and told a white lie about why I am not coming into work. And just stayed in bed all day.
Anyway, hang in there. After all tomorrow is another day!

Carpe Diem


blondietickler replies on 5/24/2006 7:24 am:
thanks. so far i just got to work and it is not looking good for today either. maybe tommorow. i hope.

southernsportmod 55M

5/24/2006 7:29 pm

I can understand your dilemma, but you need to ask yourself do you subconsciously want him back, hoping that all gets better. I have friends, male and female that have been in this spot such as yours, where the mate has a midlife crisis, male menopause, boredom or just seeking something else. When the fun times are over, they go home, expecting when the door opens, it is just like it was before they left. I can relate to your desire to remain friends, after all the time you spent together, it is only natural, hard to let it all disappear. This is only my opinion, but under no circumstances should you allow him to stay in your home, there are plenty of affordable motels in the area, he needs to earn your respect, not take advantage of it. It is too easy to let yourself get caught up in the delusions of caring for some one, there has to be mutual trust and respect; that only comes with effort on both parties.I have seen this happen to my friends, when the party is over, they come back to that security of familiarization that they left, that comfort. It is up to you if you want the same thing back, only you can make that decision, not your family nor friends. Lean on your friends, listen what they have to say, do not judge them if what they say seems harsh, the would not expect any less from you if the tables were turned. Look at the big picture, the future is always changeable, do what your heart tells you to do, but use restraint, see what has happened in your own friends lives and learn from it, the future is scary, but can be rewarding, best of luck to you, and the little one too.


blondietickler replies on 5/26/2006 5:07 pm:
sorry took so long to get back. thanks for the comment. i appreciate it. btw, he is gone. stayed in a motel one day and left the next. nothing there.

clitalicious67 49F

5/24/2006 8:49 pm

Thanks for dropping by my blog...and I feel for you!!! Hoping the days ahead are better for you. Hugs C~


blondietickler replies on 5/26/2006 5:08 pm:
so far not good and thanks for returning the favor.

rrr45044 61M

5/25/2006 7:32 am

if you want him to come over and have sex with you fine. Have sex with him and then show him the door. Do it on your terms. If not, then tell him to stay away and don't cross your doorstep until YOU call.


blondietickler replies on 5/26/2006 5:09 pm:
didn't want him coming over. didn't want sex from him and found out i don't want him. thanks for the comment.

TommyJ1977 45M

5/25/2006 7:43 pm

Thanx for saying hi and your support on my blog. I hope that I can return the favor and that you will return to my blog. I have been absent for some time but am trying to get back into it.
I am recently separated myself, we still live together for now and are unsure about the future but that is all you can expect. She will be moving soon with the children and I am taking advantage of all the time I have with them. I will not allow bitterness to come between us and both of us have agreed to keep things on the best of terms. We talk about everything and support each other completely.
As for your situation....you have been given the freedom to start things anew on your terms. You know what you want, don't settle for less. Keep telling yourself that, as I have to do the same everyday. Give yourself time to adjust and do not allow others to interfere with the process. It takes a long time to grieve and you deserve ALL of that time. If anyone cannot respect that then they do not deserve your friendship.
I hope your day is better than those before and thanx again for stopping by. Sorry for such the long post


blondietickler replies on 5/26/2006 5:12 pm:
you can post as long as you want. thanks for the advice. i think i am past the grieving part and now i am just mad and don't want to have anything to do with him. so far nothing has gone very well this week, except for him leaving.

rm_hardbody455 56M
4 posts
5/29/2006 12:58 pm

Hey tickler you should have told me this was this major when we were on IM. You are always there for me you need to let me return the favor. You know I have talked you through a few things. Hey thought we were friends you can unload anytime!!! Glad the ex didn't complicate things much in the end. Remember the Rock talk well I can be a rock for more than one friend.
So remember to unload on me we can talk it through. No more of this one sided stuff!


blondietickler replies on 6/1/2006 3:02 pm:
we are friends. it was just easier to let it out. now i am done with this. you have helped and vice versa. talk later and no more one sided.k. later.

rm_tator2269 52M
15 posts
6/1/2006 10:25 pm

this sounds just like only a male i had all i could stand when you get to that it is not as hard to keep them away we can only stand so much


blondietickler replies on 6/1/2006 11:11 pm:
what happens when you are a really nice person and you are tired of the bs from people like this?

rm_tator2269 52M
15 posts
6/1/2006 10:41 pm

last i knew my worst half was east of the miss. river and that is to close for me


blondietickler replies on 6/1/2006 11:11 pm:
tell me about it.

sexwyounow 50M

6/2/2006 4:59 am

Coming from a man be careful of ulterior motives. I have a soft heart like you (It may not seem like it from my blogs but my heart is very vulnerable.) and it gets me into trouble sometimes.

Think of what you mentioned about your child and ask yourself if it's worth it.

I realize the need for closure but try to follow your mind and not just your heart. Soft hearted people like you and I get hurt easily.

I was in a four year relationship that ended about a year ago. I thought we could be friends but it has not worked. If she is ever in trouble or needs something I won't be a jerk and just write her off.
Four years of love is hard to just write off.
Just don't let yourself get hurt.


blondietickler replies on 6/2/2006 1:17 pm:
really trying not too and i think i have more closure now then ever before. i think i am done completely. you be careful too.

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