I am confused  

blogginOnly 58F
80 posts
3/30/2006 5:25 am

Last Read:
4/21/2006 2:57 am

I am confused

As I lay in bed snuggling my pillow, I realized that maybe I am confused about true love and what they call a soul-mate. When I was very young, I married (still in High School) and it was puppy love(?), it didnt last a year. Then I met my husband (been together over 25 years now) and I cant say I ever was truly in love with him. I was rebellious? My parents were so strict, they told me I couldnt see him and so I decided I would be with him since nobody liked him,lol. (go figure). So, maybe David was not my soul-mate. Maybe he was the first one I fell in love with. My question is, is there a difference in true love and a soul-mate?

Maybe I need to think on this a little longer. Where is ella when I need her!!!!!!!!!

RaytownRick 61M

3/31/2006 3:32 pm

Men are pigs--I know, I am one. I think we never give our hearts away, like women can. I watched the same thing in a daughter who thought she'd give her heart to a guy that didn't deserve it. When he turned out to reveal the pork, she couldn't understand. Time, and a good man, healed her wounds.
What hurts is that you ended up with a guy that you didn't give your heart to. You want to experience the euphoria of love. Oh, how I understand! It is so joyous to give your heart to another--and then when he refuses to accept it, or considers it worthless, it is like crushing the heart you've given him. Cruel men. I've done that to my wife--crushed it.
I know too. I have a beautiful, loving wife who gives me her all. Yet, here I sit on a computer writing to people I don't know about stuff that doesn't matter to me, because it provides two minutes of eroticism for every hour of typing. I'm a pig. Most men are. And, even when we aren't acting like pigs, our minds are in the gutter.
You've got to get over him, by realizing it is your heart, and never was his. Take it back. Then find out how to work with it to let your husband caress it. Help him realize how precious a gift it is. Once he understands, try letting him hold it for awhile. Your answer isn't on this site--only problems are. (I speak to myself too.) Your choice was made twenty something years ago when you chose this man. You only get once choice, and then you must make it work.

rm_Mrnonooky 57M

4/1/2006 5:02 am

You haven't read that book I recomended yet have you?
Believe it or not, it deals with the very subjects you had eluded to.
Check it out. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
You won't regret it.

blogginOnly 58F

4/3/2006 2:56 am

ella.........glad to hear from you hon. Alot of people do care, just some wanna stay out of it, lol. I know we have alot in common, but I am not really sure of your situation, and why your so upset. If you need to talk, just let me know....

Daniel, thank you. I think you are right. We dont always find it. So, wish me luck down the road!!!

Raytown, your right. I need to take back my heart. Not all men are pigs either, lol. As far as my marriage goes, it wont change. Yes, I do enjoy writing on here , it helps!!

MrNoNookey, No, sorry, I have not read the book yet. I am not looking to throw my passion back into my marriage. Right now we are comfortable being in the same house. We are content. I will not find what I am looking for in my marriage. It was more a marriage out of rebellion, it just lasted all these years because "I" let it. It will remain that way to for many many years to come. It just would be nice to have someone to share love with (on the side). But, I dont have time for any type of relationship right now, and I am not ready for that either. Hugs and kisses hon.

rm_ohsolustful 58M
859 posts
4/3/2006 9:27 am

I think they are different. I love my Woman, she is terrific, but deep in my heart there is my special friend who I consider to be my soulmate. Even now, years down the road and thousands of phone conversations and e-mails later, she still makes my heart flutter and bubbles form in my gut. I think we were meant to be but different circumstances and poor choices on my part have made us stay apart...

manoflostdreams 70M

4/8/2006 4:04 pm

Sweetheart if you read this then you will know who I am. Yes you meet your soulmate as did I, yes you were in love as was I. Not sure what about me you found exciting, but with you just having you to talk to each day was what set my heart racing.... I think often of all the things we talked about, the time we were together, however breif that may have been. It was a life time of memories for me. Memories I will never expierence with my wife, as I'm sure you have memories you were never expierce with you husband. I don't think for you just talking with me and seeing each other on occassion is enough. But I often think about you and time we spent. I have avoided going out on the lake because my mind is full of you when I do. Last year I went out one time only and you were all I thought about. Not sure if one can have a soulmate without total commitement, I feel you can but what do I know about anything. It took me 57 years to find someone that really touched my heart, made me feel alive and now there is only a void, emptyness. I go through each day but the memory of you is just a breath away always weighting on my heart, my soul..........

blogginOnly 58F

4/10/2006 6:23 am

manoflostdreams........thank you for the memories

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