The Dating Game: Reversed Roles  

blackstiletto 33F
122 posts
2/7/2006 7:59 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Dating Game: Reversed Roles

I dated this guy a while back and at one incident, I made a revelation of actually making the first move of asking him out. I picked him up with my car, let him choose the dining destination and paid for dinner. Of course, earlier on I had offered to do so with absolutely no malicious resentments towards him. I was actually more than happy to. Of course, back then I believed whoever asks the other person out first is the one who picks up the tab.

But here's the thing. When the bill came, he whispered me to hand him over the cash and made it seem like he was the one paying the bill! Was that a guy thing or was he bouncing on an ego trip?

So my question is... what are your thoughts on reversed roles while dating? Do guys find it intimidating if a girl asks him out on a serious dinner date? And if the girl asks, who pays the bill? I intend on asking this guy I've been swooning on out on a real date but am not sure how to approach. He's a little slow on the whole dating game so I'd really like to enlighten him a little bit.


lithiumrose 38F

2/8/2006 9:35 am

I asked guys a couple of time for dinner. LOL. But I never picked the tab. They are the ones who paid, geneally because they said, they afford it and plus, I may asked them out - but they took me to places that is far beyond my budget. So, I never deal with guys whispering to me, give me the money so it looks like I am paying for it.

fwolfc 43M
519 posts
2/8/2006 10:05 am

I pay for most of all the tabs... sometimes I know I shouldn't but I usually do....

I usually whisper the gil to help decide what the tip is......

Ask the guy out...its all good....

bigsmile51 46M
1 post
2/9/2006 2:51 am

I have no issue with it. Doesn't say much for the guy if he can't hack a woman picking up the tab. Sometimes the archaic notions shown by my brethren trully make me wonder about how far we have come.

wet_pussy4ever 43F
3059 posts
2/10/2006 1:43 am

well, to me i guess it's d guys ego to pay for the bill... i wouldn't mind paying d bill. I've offered to pay or at least for my share whenever i'm on a date. It makes me feel better bt if the guy offers to pay, it's even better

tat's wat i would suggest 1st ( bt it has to b within bugget) LOL. or else he'll definately have to pay... & i won't object in anytg...


birchingphobia 40M

2/10/2006 7:54 am

Hmmm... Damn it. He's lucky. That never happened to me even once. Gosh! He is really cute, isn't he? Anyway, I don't think it's the guy responsbility per say but most of us do that all the time. Most guys don't mind paying.

Hmmm... Well, it's not an obligation but most guys assume girls want them to pay the bill though I think it would be nice if once in a while, the bill is split to two. But what is the fuss if you're friends. You're more than happy to pay the bills if you consider someone as your friend eventhough you truly believe that you're the last to be asked out when your "friend" is out of choices and other friends.

What was he thinking when he whispered to hand him over the cash and made it seem like he was the one paying the bill? That is so not cool. I thought these kind of guys are gone. Hmmm...

I have to admit most guys have issue with their ego but not all guys know how to use that excuse and react to that statement. Hmmm... Life is funny!

pundekzxz 46M
3 posts
2/11/2006 8:33 pm

wellll..... must be real weird guys... or nmaybe his Gaji did not came out yet or he just a plain broke ...hahahhhha evey one have his day sometimes.....

blackstiletto 33F

2/13/2006 6:53 pm

Everyone - Thanks a lot for your colourful suggestions. Will definitely be asking him out and cross my fingers, it won't scare him too much. If it's out of my budget, maybe I'll just put on my "pouty lip, puppy eyes" face and hope he'll fall for it and pay for the extras. It's usually worked when I'm trying to get into clubs for free. Heh.


blue_water5 38M

2/18/2006 12:44 am

Hi Blackstiletto,

Happy belated Valentine's Day!

Usually it's me, who's picking up the tab.
For once I dont mind and its not that I take out girls every weekend and the second point might be the ego part.
However, on my last blind-date it was actually the Lady who ended up standing infront of me at the cashier (Starbucks) ready to pay.
She just smile at me and said: "It's fine."
Err, I was baffled first but well.. not in the mood to argue here.

Question would be, whether it would be something else if we are talking about decent bill in a real restaurant. - As you mentioned, just smile!


blackstiletto 33F

2/19/2006 4:34 pm

blue_water5 - Sooooo... any plans this weekend?

blue_water5 38M

3/2/2006 5:47 am

Hi Dear,

am not checking the site that often...
Well, am free for dinner session (normal or reverse)on weekends.
Please drop me a mail so that we can see which way we are going.


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