The Four Pressures  

blacksexynerd 45M
22 posts
3/20/2006 11:38 pm

Last Read:
6/7/2006 4:49 am

The Four Pressures


My poem brought out some interesting thoughts. The way I see it, this dilemna creates a situation where there are four distinct pressures I face:

1. Pressure from God to not have sexual intercourse
2. Pressure from God to love my neighbor (women) as myself
3. Pressure from my sex drive (nearly constantly horny)
4. No girlfriend/significant other (lack of someone readily available to be sexual with)

Resolving these semi-conflicting pressures is the challenge that I face, seeking a sexual solution that does not involve sex, considers a woman's needs/wishes, and can be done without entering an official girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.

_tightNtasty_ 53F

3/22/2006 2:59 pm

1. Pressure from God to not have sexual intercourse

I really don't know how god is Pressuring you.I think perhaps that maybe your subcomscious Mind doing that for the lusty thoughts of sex you maybe having.My best advice would be do what feels right to you

2. Pressure from God to love my neighbor (women) as myself

I think you shouldn't be having this pressure if you treated everybody with respect and lets forgiveness guide you and don't hold grudges

3. Pressure from my sex drive (nearly constantly horny)
sweety if you don't want Pressure from your sex drive why be at a sex site?

My addive is to get hobbies and stay away from horny women..LOL

4. No girlfriend/significant other (lack of someone readily available to be sexual with)

Boo your #1 and #4 questions comtradict each other

I think you can have a loving relationship without sex it does exist...I think most marraiges are like that these day with both parents working these days and so sex don't becomes the main focus ...Honesty...trust..companionship and communication are the key ...I think you should not put so must Pressure on yourself and relax God has his own plans for you and so it was writen so shall it be done!


blacksexynerd 45M

3/26/2006 12:25 pm

Thanks for your comments.

I think I might have a stronger sex drive than you might have thought. I've heard the "get a hobby"/"avoid 'tempting' situations" advice, but I get horny on my own, even if no women and no images of women are around.

I do have hobbies and do professional and community service activity - enough to keep me busy a good 18-20 hours a day if I let it. I do these things because they are good in their own rights and I think it's important to make a difference in the world, but it would be very frustrating (and futile) to try to use them to suppress my sexualiy. However, one can be sexual without having sex. I am committed to not have sexual intercourse until marriage (at which point it is on, big time). But I am not at all committed to avoid orgasm. Think of it as instead of building a dam and trying to block a river, I'm building a canal to redirect the flow.

And I probably should explain the pressures in a bit more detail. As a human male, I'm horny. I have a functioning sex drive. That doesn't come from being on a sex site, it comes from being alive. Obviously, what most men do when they feel like this is they have sex.

But as a Christian, I was taught to wait for marriage. Hence, the normal course of action is out. Therefore, pressure #1.

For guys, the longer you remain horny, the worse it gets. Pressure #3.

So I can't have sex, but I'm horny. Given time, anyone who doesn't just have sex will come up with an alternate solution to that problem - it's got to go somewhere. Orgasm without intercourse. To me, I'm not satisfied with just masturbation. I need contact with a woman. And foreplay can lead to orgasm without sex depending on how it's done. So that would be a solution, except I'm by myself. Hence, pressure #4.

I need a woman. Of course, needing a woman and having a woman are two different things.

A guy without principles would take this need as his license to do whatever it takes to get a woman for his sexual relief. Often, a guy's sexual need is not sufficient justification for a women to be sexual with him, so often men will lie or manipulate to get what they need sexually. But as a Christian, I'm under the second greatest commandment - to love my neighbor as myself. Pressure #2. If I am to love a woman as much as I love myself, deception and manipulation is not an option. I can't take the easy way out to get a woman.

So, I am in search of a woman who wants to be sexual with me, and is okay with that sexuality being sexual to the point of orgasm but not including sexual intercourse.

That's the four pressures. And pressure isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can result in control - keeping things on the right course and from causing unintentional harm to another or to yourself. I see so many women who are hurt as the result of sexual encouters of guys who didn't concern themselves with how their fulfillment affected the woman. I do need my sexual relief, but I don't want to be like that.


Become a member to create a blog