My Livin' Well Will  

bipolybabe 55F
10715 posts
8/28/2006 5:59 pm

Last Read:
8/29/2006 12:47 pm

My Livin' Well Will

This comes from "The Funny Times," a monthly publication with comics and humorous essays. It's my prime source for life as we know it. Except, of course, these blogs.

Funny Times says, "Depressed? You won't be after you subscribe." You'll find funnytimes at the normal web address.

My Livin' Well Will
By Phil Proctor (as adapted by BPB )

I, BiPolyBabe, being of slightly wacky mind and curvaceous body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. (My 95-year-old grandmother chose to die when she no longer enjoyed the taste of food. Good time to go.)

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of posturing politiicans, lawyers and/or doctors interested in simply running up their bills or protecting their butts from malpractice suits.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of these:

* Edna Valley Chardonnay
* The Hitching Post Pinot Noir
* Firestone Double Barrel Ale
* A Cazadores Margarita on the rocks WITH salt
* Organic, Free Trade Nicaraguan or Ethiopian coffee french-pressed with organic half & half
* Barbecued salmon with fresh garlic & ginger
* To kiss the cheeks of my kids (who at three years old promised me infinite kisses for a quarter each for the bubblegum machine; so far they've honored their agreement!)
* My Hitachi Magic Wand vibe
* Chocolate cake with a mushy middle
* Mexican food of any type
* Sex, in every form imaginable should be presumed that I won't be getting better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person (not the former LIP or Live-In Penis!!!) and attending physician to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and go have a beer or Margarita on me. I have created the "Beer/Margarita Trust Fund" for this purpose.



Dated 8/28/06

So, what's the thing you desire that reminds you that you're alive? Alive to pleasure?


Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

meerkittykat 42F

8/28/2006 6:21 pm

* Barbecued salmon with fresh garlic & ginger

Wow...that sounds so good right now. Yuk on the Chard tho. I never found one I liked. Give me a Sau Blanc anyday......I think I forgot to eat dinner.

A dying declaration for the Hitachi Magic Wand vibe. I'm looking for something new...I assume this comes highly recommended by BPB INC?

bipolybabe replies on 8/28/2006 10:00 pm:
The Hitachi Magic Wand rec comes from the Higher Source, masturbation guru Betty Dodson, author of "Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving" and "Orgasms for Two," everything you ever wanted to know about an a lady in her 70s having anal sex with a 30-year-old.

Yes, old Betty and I have been on an interesting path. (And we both do love our Magic Wands.)

A hint: wrap the end of your vibe in washcloths secured by a rubberband at the end to mute the vibrations, otherwise you will be spoiled FOREVER for mere human stimuation. Remove washcloths 'til, like Baby Bear, "It's just right."


rm_putt675 51M
1118 posts
8/28/2006 6:22 pm

After reading your wonderful post I believe I will now create a "Last Wishes Beer and Wine Foundation." This foundation of course will be non-profit, tax deductible, and if I get my way endowed by several large wineries. The mission statement will be: To provide mourning liquids in a celebration of life, for those left behind." My alternate mission statement is: "In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here."

May your chocolate cake always be mushy, and your Mexican always be spicy.

LTsGirl915 34F

8/28/2006 9:09 pm

I promise to pull the plug if it comes to that!

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
8/29/2006 3:43 am

With minor modifications, I think this will work!

digdug41 49M

8/29/2006 8:04 am

interesting post BPB I've never thought about this maybe I should huh

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

Greekgirl4u06 39F

8/29/2006 12:35 pm

good food and good sex.....when thats over with, what the hell is left anyway?

spacecadet561 60M

8/29/2006 3:35 pm

This sounds like a good alternative to the standard "living will".


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