Horses are Good Medicine  

bipolybabe 54F
10715 posts
8/18/2006 6:30 am

Last Read:
8/25/2006 8:42 am

Horses are Good Medicine

If you've been reading my blog lately, you know I've been sorta sad and feeling out of control, because, I've found I just can't make anyone else do exactly what I want when I want it.

One of my "first click" (she's got something new, I click to read it) bloggers absolutelynormal had the temerity to label my behavior "codependent." I deleted her comment and told her to shut up. Nicely. I figured since I have my own extensive list of favorite addictions--obsessive blogging, overeating, overdrinking, overthinking, overwork, overspending--it's just not possible I could also be codependent. Could it?

Well, her comment stuck with me, and I went to another damn meeting (Maybe another of my addictions is overlearning.) because I am a total newbie to the idea of codependency. I learned that being codependent is being the "good guy" who is in control and going to fix the problems of those around her. Huh. Actually, from the outside, it sounds pretty great to be the rescuer on my high horse and saving my love from the dragon.

And what I've discovered is that the reality sucks. I asked my therapist how one avoids it. He said "Focus on your own needs."

That sounds like something I can do, being a good to excellent narcissist (witness how many times the word "I" appears in my blog). So, the other day I went horseback riding along the Santa Ynez River. While riding, I breathe more slowly, listen to the rustle of the cottonwood leaves and the clop of my horse's hooves, smell the sage and feel my yoni against the saddle. It was almost as good as sex for getting me out of my head and back into my body.

For me, horses are good medicine for my soul.

What is your choice for soothing your soul?


(c) 2006 AskAphrodite aka BiPolyBabe


BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!



Mermaidslut 49F

8/18/2006 7:06 am

I personally do a serious amount of non profit work. Probably more so then paid, and it is the main way I socialize when not online. It is something I have done for many years, and it keeps me grounded when I feel like I just want to cry.

I find that I can't worry about my own problems, while I am helping others. Feeds my co-dependancy, but more importantly it really DOES allow me to help others instead of trying to change them to what I want. I have gained, many skills from experiences over the years. I have left my fingerprints, on many hearts and made my mark on the world.


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
8/18/2006 7:12 am

bubble bath!



[blog freelove999]


rm_imtheone42 74M
485 posts
8/18/2006 7:28 am

Golf does it for me. Well...it doesn`t always soothe me but it does take my mind off whatever else is bothering me. Oh...sex works pretty good as a soother unless it`s problems with sex that`s bothering you then I recommend golf. lol


wickedeasy 66F  
25463 posts
8/18/2006 7:58 am

give a polarity session
get a polarity session
meditate

eat

okay, so i'm not perfect -

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


Rideandfun1000 59M

8/18/2006 8:19 am

Riding... I have found that the subconscious mind has an amazing ability to work out things that I can't do consciously. The trick is to give them over to it and let it do its work.

Driving a motorcycle is not like driving a car. You must concentrate on, and be aware of, everything around you and ride as if you are invisible - because to many you are.

So, when I ride, I forget about my troubles - there isn't room enough for them out there. And for a while, I am free...

It's hard to describe. Harley had a great saying that really applies to all motorcycle riding: "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand"...

Ride


AstirRelicLatah 64M
1993 posts
8/18/2006 8:52 am

Live music, ride bikes and ski - All three when done properly take me completely out of my head and just allow me to be and experience. Can't wait for winter to arrive again...More skiing - Yippee


Mermaidslut 49F

8/18/2006 9:56 am

    Quoting Rideandfun1000:
    Riding... I have found that the subconscious mind has an amazing ability to work out things that I can't do consciously. The trick is to give them over to it and let it do its work.

    Driving a motorcycle is not like driving a car. You must concentrate on, and be aware of, everything around you and ride as if you are invisible - because to many you are.

    So, when I ride, I forget about my troubles - there isn't room enough for them out there. And for a while, I am free...

    It's hard to describe. Harley had a great saying that really applies to all motorcycle riding: "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand"...

    Ride
I can see BPB on a a Sportster, and allllll the guys following her.

..definatly can't think about other things in life when your watching the road riding an iron horse!


Mermaidslut 49F

8/18/2006 10:01 am

    Quoting AstirRelicLatah:
    Live music, ride bikes and ski - All three when done properly take me completely out of my head and just allow me to be and experience. Can't wait for winter to arrive again...More skiing - Yippee
yep, skiing used to be my passion. This year, it is my main goal cause NOTHING is better then flying down a mountain as fast as you can to take your mind off everything. I have to say, it might even be better then sex on a perfect snow day. Especially in Telluride or Sun Valley


Theflinkychick 105F

8/18/2006 10:49 am

Before the gas prices went up, it was going on long pointless drives with the music blaring so I could holler along with the lyrics. So far I haven't been under that much stress so I haven't really missed the long drives. It will probably be walking if the need arises. That is what I did before I was old enough to drive.

Not all who wander are lost.


spacecadet561 59M

8/18/2006 2:43 pm

It's been so long since I've worried about soul soothing I'd forgotten that such a thing existed (the soothing part; I think I've seen a little bit of my soul somewhere in this lifetime).

By the way, horses are only fun if you have someone else clean up the "presents" they leave wherever they go.

SpaceCadetรน


PlaynAgain 54F

8/18/2006 3:25 pm

It varies, depending on the level and nature of the stress. Long, pointless drives work sometimes. Soft music and a good book. A solitary walk on a pretty day...

"Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain."


ProtonicMan 47M

8/18/2006 5:24 pm

Your horseback ride sounds like a really good afternoon of therapy. Yaaay, BPB!

For me, riding either of my two-wheeled vehicles is good, although I prefer the one with the motor. Unfortunately, that one still needs parts.

TJ


absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
8/18/2006 6:11 pm

WHen I wrote that reply, I don't recall exactly what I said. I do remember thinking this will probably piss BiPoly off, but I find that what I say to other people is exactly what I need to hear sometimes. I can call you codependent because it takes one to know one. One of my greatest faults is that I tend to overthink things, I'd rather think than feel, feeling hurts so I spend time ruminating over something rather than getting into the solution about it. I also tend to think the world revolves around me, I think that I can fix things that are unfixable. I've started to write to you several times, because I see me in you or you in me and I want to help, that's MY codependence coming out. Ultimately we each have to find our own way. Mac


bipolybabe replies on 8/18/2006 10:24 pm:
At this point, as you can see, I thank you. When I notice that something someone says--or writes--to me triggers a big emotional response, my first reaction is to push it away and deny it.

But, usually, I take a look.

So, I thank you for saying something you figured would piss me off. You did.

So keep pissing me off!

BPB

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
8/18/2006 6:13 pm

Oh, the bathtub is good for my soul Been years since I've been on a horse but I love them and they love me.


ncfantasyseeker 46F
22 posts
8/18/2006 6:49 pm

The ocean at night. The sound of the waves...the endless beach... the reminder that to anything bigger than us...we are just grains of sand on the beach...

I miss it and if things get really bad in my landlocked life I take off for the beach.. One night on the ocean with a bottle of malibu and I'm ready to take on the world again.

I envy you your location.

NC


lookingforfun54 60M
86 posts
8/18/2006 7:30 pm

I agree with Rideandfun. I get out on my bike and go. After the first hundred miles, you fit into a zone that gives you a freedom that is wonderful (nothing like it). I disagree with him though. When I ride, my subconscience mind takes over and runs through itself and gets rid of a lot of the garbage. You can feel the world better than any other way. Riding is almost a spiritual link with the world. Ride To Live And Live To Ride....


rm_buannabob 53M
1 post
8/18/2006 8:09 pm

i like to go to the river and float down watching the deer and what ever else wild life i see and justr catch my breath, i too am the fix it all of every one elses problems weather it be their need for a few dollars or just to listen to their gripes or fix their roof leak to their toilet problems i just have a hard time saying no lol


pictureunaked 56M

8/24/2006 4:59 pm

Riding my bike-- pedal power, not gas. The combination of the open air, quiet/wind in my ears, the physical challenge and spectacular local scenery literally reset my consciousness. In fact, there are times when I'm climbing a significant hill that my brain goes into "simple mode"-- where I can't remember things like names and details that I really do know. Sure, this is an effect of oxygen debt, but it's pretty cool to have near-total focus for a while.

Earlier this week, while on a ride, I stopped to rest at a little, out of the way park that overlooks the Santa Ynez river. There was nobody else there, and while I lay on top of a picnic table, I had one of those peaceful moments where you feel really connected to the world and to life itself. Similar to experiences I've had while backpacking, but without nearly as much work to achieve.

Often, while I ride, I think about the people I've known and cared for that have died too young. I feel privileged-- and even a bit of responsibility-- to be alive and experiencing the world and to be pushing the limits of my physical body.

After I achieve everything that I want to be able to do-- physically, mentally and creatively-- then I might start worrying about getting others to do things for me. But every time I reach a new level of accomplishment, I find another plateau lies ahead.

For now, I'm goin' for a ride!


bipolybabe replies on 8/25/2006 8:45 am:
A friend of mine said that while we may not have perfect lives, we can be alive to those "perfect moments."

Like you, I thrill in what my body can do.

I love those moments when I feel the "oneness" though I'm embarrassed to use the word so I have to put it in quotes.

BPB

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